The Heart Won't Lie
by AllAboutTheWriting
Summary: [Sequel to Betrayal In The First Degree] Elliot's fallen in love with his partner, but will she ever know it? ::Last chapter up!::
1. Denial: A River of Coffee And Alcohol

**Is Love Enough? (Sequel To Betrayal In The First Degree)**

This story is dedicated toeveryone who reviewed to BITFD,because without their reviews this never would have gotten off the ground!

Hey everyone! I'm ba-ack! Geez, you all have to be so difficult. _Do both! Start with two and then do one. _I'm just kidding, I love y'all. So it'll be both, just to make everyone happy.Here are the guidelines for this story.

I've decided to give the jumping back and forth from person to person thing a break, so this whole story is in third person. Though, I still jump back and forth between the character's heads... You'll see.The italics thing still applies to dreams, thoughts, flashbacks, and stressed words. And I've given up on the lyrics, too much work! If I think they're really important, I'll work them into the chapter, like I have in this one!

Just so you know the setting, this is right after the last chapter in BITFD where Elliot leaves Olivia's apartment. It's nothing much,just a little something to tide you over until I write more.I have school, so I haven't had much chance to write. And, because I now have a life and responsibilites again, _damnit _;), I can't update every day. But I will update as much as possible, whenever I can. Anyway, enjoy!

**Chapter One - Denial: A River of Coffee and Alcohol**

As Elliot drove along, he angrily fought back the tears that were trying so desperately to fall from his eyes. He felt like a teenager who just got dumped by his girlfriend. But he hadn't been dumped, or even rejected. Heartbroken, yes, but wasn't that his own fault? He'd been slowly chipping away at the professional relationship he had with Olivia, until it was completely gone, leaving a hole in their friendship. With nothing else to fill it, wasn't it just a matter of time before he started considering her as more than a friend? Wasn't it only natural? Put a man and a woman together long enough and eventually instincts take over, right?

Somehow, that logic didn't comfort him as he accelerated the car, flying over the pavement and missing his street, not that he noticed. He was too concerned with the arguing voices in his head. Half said he did the right thing and half were screaming at him to pull his car around and go back to Olivia's. Searching around the streets, he looked for something, anything to offer him a solution to quiet his thoughts. His eyes first landed on the obvious, a bar.

He shook his head and turned his eyes back to the road. Right now, with everything he was feeling, he couldn't afford to get drunk. If he did, there was a really good chance he would stumble over to Olivia's in the middle of the night, throw himself at her feet, and confess his undying love for her. _Yeah, right._ That only comes out okay in the movies. Since he couldn't drown them in alcohol, he decided to drown out the voices with music.

Turning his radio on, he starting searching through the preset stations. When he found nothing but the pop and hip-hop that his two older daughters listened to, he realized they had messed with the buttons. Frustration over-took him as he slammed his fist against the system, pressing a button that changed the radio to yet another pop station. Grumbling profanities to himself, he shifted his gaze back to the road and left the radio as it was, not much in the mood or budget for having to purchase a new car if he destroyed this one.

"Is there any single people out there tonight?" A smooth baritone voice came from the speakers. "Have you found that special someone but just can't bring yourself to tell them your true feelings?" Elliot's brows furrowed as he shot a death glare towards the offense radio system. Even some late-night DJ he'd never met could read him like a book. "Then here's a new one for you. It's the latest from Jessie McCartney, 'Why Don't You Kiss Her?'" A soft guitar solo filled the car as the teenage boy's voice came on.

"We're the best of friends  
And we share our secrets  
She knows everything that is on my mind  
Oh, lately something's changed  
As I lay awake in my bed  
A voice here inside my head softly says

"Why don't you kiss her?  
Why don't you tell her?  
Why don't you let her see the feelings that you hide?  
'Cause she'll never know  
If you never show  
The way you feel inside

"Oh, I'm so afraid  
To make that first move  
Just a touch and we could cross the line  
Oh, every time she's near  
I wanna never let her go  
Confess to her what my heart knows  
Hold her close"

Listening to each word, Elliot felt his hands release the white-knuckle grip he hadn't even noticed he had on the steering wheel. His foot also took some pressure off of the gas pedal as each verse struck a chord inside him.

"Why don't you kiss her?  
Why don't you tell her?  
Why don't you let her see the feelings that you hide?  
'Cause she'll never know  
If you never show  
The way you feel inside

"What would she say?  
I wonder would she just turn away?  
Of would she promise me that she's here to stay?  
It hurts me to wait  
I keep asking myself

"Why don't you kiss her?  
(Tell her you love her)  
Why don't you tell her?  
(Tell her you need her)  
Why don't you let her see the feelings that you hide?  
'Cause she'll never know  
If you never show  
The way you feel inside  
Why don't you kiss her?  
(Why don't you kiss her?)"

"Why don't I?" He asked of himself as the song ended. Suppose he did go back to Olivia's and tell her his feelings? What would he have to lose? Listening to that song had made him realize that he could never just be friends with Olivia while a part of him still longed for so much more.

"Because she doesn't feel the same way," he softly groaned and answered his own question, his vision blurring as tears filled his eyes. Smacking the power button, he quieted the DJ's voice. Awkwardly running the side of his hand against his eyes, he attempted to dry them, turning his sight to the side of the road as he came upon a stoplight. The neon signs in the convenient store glowed under the setting sun, catching his attention.

A few minutes later, he emerged from the entrance, a twelve pack of beer in his hand. Since he couldn't get drunk in a bar for fear he'd lose control of his actions, he decided to lock himself inside his house and get drunk. _No one to stop me…_ He tossed the box in the back seat of his car and drove away, nothing to look forward to but downing each one, trying to get too drunk to remember any dreams he may have of Olivia and what could never be.

--XXX--

_Why can't everything be black and white? Right or wrong, innocent or guilty… I love him or I only see him as a friend…_ Olivia wondered to herself as she twirled the spoon around in her cup of coffee, barely noticing the stray drops splashing out here and there. There was only one person in her mind that stood out amongst her jumbled thoughts right now - Elliot.

They say that there is always that one moment in every person's life when you can just _tell_ that things will never be the same again. Of course, for her that would be the night she was raped, but not for the reason most would assume. It wasn't because that was the minute her life was ruined, or was over, it was the minute her life just started, and became confusing as hell.

In all the time she'd spent with Elliot over the past week, he'd slowly grown on her to the point where she started feeling… _different_ about him. But she just couldn't seem to put a label on the things going on inside her head and heart. Something in the way she regarded him had changed, that much she was sure of, but into what and to what extent? She didn't want to say love, but it was the closest thing to it she'd felt in years. She really cared for him, and not just as friends.

She'd been feeling this for awhile, but what really made it bubble to the surface was Elliot's appearance as he drifted off into some daydream while she'd been talking to him. It was a mix of longing… and wanting… Things she'd been feeling as well. For a split moment, she'd even entertained the idea that he'd been thinking about her. But even when she'd chased after him, given him the perfect opportunity to say anything he was feeling, he'd said nothing. Maybe seeing that look was just wishful thinking, her eyes showing her something that she only _wanted_ so desperately to be there, to justify _her_ feelings.

_Either way, it doesn't much matter know, does it?_ A glum frown on her face, she rose from her dining room table and casually tossed the remains of her cold coffee into the sink. Maybe it would be better if she just forgot these emotions. No good would come from holding onto them, and she certainly couldn't act on them either. Ignoring them would be the best thing for everyone…

Flipping the kitchen light off, she checked the locks on the front door before heading off to her bedroom to try and sleep off the nagging feeling that was tugging at the pit of her heart.


	2. Cold Hard Slap of Truth

Everyone, thanks for the reviews! Even got some new people, always good. ;)

First, I would just like to announce that if you read the first chapter or the last chapter in BITFD, you know that there will be OE and this story. And yet, I still get people begging me to get them together. Honestly, I was all ready in the first chapter to have Elliot throw himself at Olivia and declare him undying love for her, but nooo! You guys wanted Elliot to ignore his feelings, then have them hook up. So, that's what I'm going to do. Like I said, I always keep a promise. If you want someone to blame for Olivia and Elliot not being together by now, look in the mirror. ;) Having said that, here's a new chapter. And, I did a little research on brain aneurysms, but a little of it I just stretched.

**Chapter 2 - Cold Hard Slap of Truth**

Stumbling into the squad room, Elliot came armed with a cup of black coffee in one hand and a bottle of aspirin in the other, nature's cure for hangovers. He'd already blasted his half-asleep self with cold water for a good half-hour, explaining the slight moisture in his hair. Hoping he could hide his sorry state and blood shot eyes, he sat down at his desk and buried his nose in a pile of paperwork.

"Hey El." The voice was bittersweet as it stung his ears. He wanted to listen to it all day and yet, he never wanted to hear it again.

"Hey Liv." Elliot kept his head down and tried to hide the new affection in his tone as he spoke her name. He had to hide what he felt at all cost. No matter what, she could never know the truth.

"Are you okay?" He felt his stomach twist into a thousand tiny knots as her hand delicately placed itself on his shoulder. _Always so caring and concerned… Damn._

"Fine." Elliot forced a spasm through his shoulder, reluctantly tossing her touch away.

"All right." There was a small note of hurt in her voice as he watched her sit at her desk out of the corner of his eye. Elliot detested himself for pushing Liv away right now, but she was too close to him. One little slip-up in a conversation, and he could drop the ball at any moment. But he couldn't let that happen, couldn't show her the truth, meaning he had to watch everything he did and said around her. It would be hard, but if anyone was worth protecting from himself, she was.

"Olivia, Elliot." Cragen's voice actually brought relief to his ears as Elliot turned to look at him. "God Elliot, what happened?" He spoke with such shock and dismay that the detective's relief was all too quickly depleted.

"Good morning to you too, Captain," he snapped, slipping into another mood swing. It was always an ailment he suffered when hung over, due to the pounding and throbbing in his head.

Cragen simply frowned and turned to Olivia, handing her a folder. "There's a woman at Bellevue, late twenties. The husband found her unconscious in their kitchen, clothes ripped and a blow to the head. No underwear, so they think she was raped. But she claims she wasn't and she refuses to let them do a rape kit. See if you can talk to her." Olivia nodded absent-mindedly as she flipped among the pages.

Cragen turned back around to look at Elliot, slightly disquieted as he recognized Elliot's problem. Bloodshot eyes, mood swings, headache by the way he was rubbing his temples, if anyone knew what it was, it was definitely Cragen. Olivia also seemed distressed by the way her eyes frequently and indiscreetly flickered over to her partner. If not even she knew what was wrong, Don knew he had a cause for concern, and that there was no way he'd find out unless Elliot offered up the problem willingly. He was never one to divulge personal issues at work, or _ever_ for that matter.

"Let's go." Elliot rose to his feet, still clutching his coffee cup in his hand as he made his way to the door. Olivia followed suit, still keeping a wary eye on him as they descended the front stairs of the station house.

"You wanna drive?" Olivia stuck her finger through the ring that held the sedan's keys and pointed it towards Elliot. Shaking his head, he twisted the top off an aspirin bottle. He tipped three white pills into his hand and transferred them to his mouth, taking them dry.

"Na," he opened the passenger door and stepped his foot inside. Biting her lip, Olivia watched him tuck his head in the car and shut the door behind him.

--XXX--

"What's up with you?" Olivia eased up on the gas and applied pressure to the brake as they came up to a red light. Keeping her hands on the wheel, she faced Elliot and made another failing attempt to read his blank expression.

"Nothing." He set his elbow against the window and rested his hand against the palm of his hand. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead with his eyebrows furrowed in pain. "Just a headache."

"Strange, I thought they were referring to it as a hangover nowadays." She wasn't sure how she meant the comment to come out, just as a joke or seriously, so it ended up sounding sarcastic and harsh, not at all her intent.

"Un," he just grunted, sounding unmoved as turned to watch the same mundane buildings go by his window that did everyday, during every car ride. "We're here," he pointed out the obvious, anything to change the subject. Olivia merely kept quiet to guarantee that she couldn't say something else to push the already distant Elliot even further away. There was something he was hiding from her, but her _own_ mind was too frazzled and cluttered with thoughts to try and sort out his. If he wanted her to know, he'd tell her. _Hopefully…_

It took the two only a minute to make their way from the hospital parking lot to the receptionist area.

"Detective Benson, my partner Detective Stabler." Olivia held her badge and identification out to the elderly woman sitting in a computer chair behind the counter. "We're here to talk to Karissa Perry."

"Just a minute." She held up a single wrinkled finger, donning a perfect manicure with cherry-red polish. All women over sixty or seventy seemed to be the same, spending hours a week and half their paychecks just to get their hair in that perfect curly bob and nails filed oh-so-perfectly. She clicked the tips of her nails against the keyboard as she typed in Karissa's name. "Are you sure you're looking for Karissa?" She gave a cursory glance over top of her huge frames, the nosepiece barely clinging to the very tip of her petite nose.

"Yes," Olivia nodded in confirmation, resting her arms on top of the plastic cover over the wooden desk.

She placed a hand over her mouth and chin in puzzlement as she read the glowing screen in front of her, the blue background reflecting off of her glass lenses. Pushing her hands against the counter, she slid her squeaky chair over to a filing cabinet a few feet away. She offered no explanation as she yanked a drawer open and flipped through the manila folders and colorful tags. The detectives stole confused glances at each other while her back was turned, unaware that she'd silently rolled back behind the computer. "Well you can see her, but she won't be able to tell you much. She's in the comatose ward."

"Comatose ward?" Olivia glanced back to Elliot with her eyebrows raised, a questioning perplexity in her eyes. She was met with the same expression and a half-hearted shrug. Neither of them had heard the word 'comatose' in Cragen's description of the woman. "What happened?"

"That's confidential," she slightly shook her head to the left and then to the right. "But you can ask the husband. Poor thing's so shook up," her voice took on a nurturing and motherly tone, much different than her brash one from before. "He was talking to her when it happened."

Olivia followed the woman's motioning hand towards the waiting room, a wall just covering everything of the man but his legs and jeans. "What's his name?"

"Mitch Perry."

She thanked the receptionist and headed towards the waiting room, Elliot falling in line behind her, not having spoken a word since they walked in the front doors.

"Mr. Perry?" The hunched figure buried in the waiting room chair was all too obviously that of the husband's. He was in his own bubble of heartache and misery, his once almost movie-star looking features now worn and drawn with a look of aging. The blonde locks of his meticulously gelled and styled hair were now tossed around his face in wisps. His baby blue eyes contained nothing more than huge pools of tears, waiting to overflow once the reality finally decided to fully kick in.

"Mr. Perry?" Olivia's voice was a low comforting purr, as she finally stood at his feet while he was absolutely unresponsive. "Mitch?" The detective quietly bent her waist until her brown eyes were level with his.

The personal identification seemed to pop his bubble once he finally gazed up to look at the source of the voice. "Yes?" The man strived to keep his voice from quivering, a task becoming more and more laborious as time increased.

"Hi." A warm smile crossed her lips, making Olivia glow as she spoke. "I'm Detective Olivia Benson." She flashed her badge. "This is my partner Detective Elliot Stabler." She brought Mitch's gaze over towards where her partner had been silently waiting and watching, a good few feet away, his hands folded in front of him. "We're here to talk to you about Karissa."

"But I already told the cops what happened." His eyes darted around, following Elliot and Olivia as they took a seat to the left of him.

"Yes, but we're with the Special Victims Unit," Olivia tried to clarify the same mistake that a lot of people made. Nobody wanted to talk to the police even one time. To them, twice seemed like torture, or the sign that the department couldn't work together or get the story straight.

"Special Victims? What's that?"

"It's a branch of the police department that works on sex crimes."

"Sex crimes!" Perry's eyes widened in disbelief and his voice rose in pitch as he echoed Olivia. "You think she was _raped_ too? God…" He shot up from his seat and brought his shaking hands to his face, hiding the tears that were spilling again. "Oh my God…" he repeated, taking the thought like a blow to the face as he paced around in a small circle. "Not 'Rissa. Not her…" He pleaded, leaning his arms against the wall as he buried his face into the sleeves of his jacket. Sobs racked his shoulders up and down.

"Mr. Perry," Olivia rose to her feet and tenderly placed her hand on his arm in sympathy. She was barely touching him when he spun around towards her. Olivia jumped back in alarm, not knowing his intentions. Elliot noticed this and scrambled to his feet, ready to defend her.

Instead of lashing out or striking Olivia, Perry just crumbled into her arms, leaning his face against her neck and wrapping his arms around her, like a child hugging its mother. Olivia made no attempt to return the embrace. Her arms merely hung slack to the sides, her body stiffened, and her discomfort was apparent to all but the shaking form clutching onto her. She barely felt comfortable coming into close contact with strangers of any kind, but some guy holding onto her that she didn't even know? That wasn't on her list of things to undertake any time soon, if ever. Feeling his warm, sticky breath against her neck, she flashed a pleading look of help to her partner.

Elliot was all too quick to step in, pulling Perry away and holding him over a chair where he quickly collapsed into a blubbering mass. By the time Elliot glanced up to check his partner's condition, she was gone.

"Liv?" It took a second to locate her standing outside the waiting room, between the receptionist area and front door. "You all right?" He folded his arms and remained professional as he kept his emotions and compassion for her in check.

"I'm fine." Her nose and forehead wrinkled up in disgust as she rubbed the area of her neck where she could still feel the nearly microscopic specks of Perry's saliva on her skin from when he'd breathed on her.

Before Elliot could stop himself, a tiny grin slipped onto his lips and a thought crossed his mind. _She looks so cute…_

"What?" Olivia felt his eyes on her and stopped, focusing her attention back at Elliot. "Are you laughing at me?" She cocked her head to the side and hid a grin as well, losing the vexed expression she'd tried to muster up.

"Um, no." His smile melted and he shook his head to try and shake loose his previous thought. "Maybe we should talk to Karissa's doctor instead," he casually interrupted, passing by Olivia as his legs reluctantly took him back up to the receptionist.

"Okay," Olivia agreed indifferently, stifling back the familiar thought that again, Elliot was _still_ concealing something from her.

--XXX--

"Which patient were you here about again?" Dr. Lauria ran his hand over his dark brown buzz cut and forehead, taking off the layer of sweat forming. Using his other hand, he shuffled through the four clipboards in his arms, nearly dropping them.

"Karissa Perry," Elliot irritably repeated for the third time, narrowly avoiding a nurse huffing by with a blood tray in hand. He and Olivia were ducking through the traffic in the hallway as they followed Karissa's doctor, who seemed to have a million too many thoughts and patients as he tried to get everything straight.

"When was she brought in?" He glanced his hazel eyes up long enough to turn a corner before his head snapped back down like a reflex. His loafers were obnoxiously smacking against the tile, bringing every passer-by's attention to his flipped up collar, half-untucked shirt, and white lab coat tails flailing along behind him.

"Sometime this morning," Olivia answered, hustling to keep up with the doctor. As scatter-brained as he was, he could keep a pace.

"Here it is!" Dr. Lauria cried out triumphantly as he held up a clipboard and smacked face first into an attendant who, luckily, was empty-handed. "Oh, sorry!" He backed away from the petite woman and readjusted his glasses on his ears.

"That's all right doctor," she gave a fleeting smile and walked away untouched, as if that was daily happenstance with him.

"Anyway," he glanced behind his shoulder, making sure that the detectives handed been lost in all the hustle and bustle. "She's in the comatose ward, room 5061A."

"Thank you doctor, but we weren't looking for her room," Olivia kept her politeness, glad for the rest. "We want to know how she got there."

"Oh, of course." He cleared his mind and rubbed his temple for a moment, staring at the clipboard he placed on top of the pile. "I'll take you there now." He jumped away from the wall he been leaning against and took off in the same direction they'd came. Olivia and Elliot tossed each other tired looks and rolling eyes before following him again.

"Karissa was brought in about ten o'clock this morning. She was unconscious, a blunt force trauma to the back of the head, and she had multiple other cuts and scrapes. We stabilized her and she finally woke up. She was scheduled for an MRI and CAT scan about eleven-thirty, but she never made it."

"What happened?"

The doctor sighed somewhat remorsefully as he scanned through the papers about Karissa, familiarizing himself with the case again. "A few minutes before, Mr. Perry was talking to her. He said that she was lucid enough, just tired. Then she started complaining of a headache and stiff neck. Just as he was about to call a nurse, Karissa started vomiting, which was later followed by convulsions. We got her stable again, and rushed her up for the MRI."

"What did it show?" Olivia was already jotting down notes. Though having to take them on the run, they looked more like chicken scratch than words.

"Karissa suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm. The headache, stiff neck, vomiting, convulsions, all classic signs."

"Was it preexisting, or caused by the head trauma?" If Karissa died because of the aneurysm, they'd have to charge the perp with murder as well.

"Judging by the size of the area," he pulled an x-ray of her brain out of the folder and held it up to the light. He circled his finger around a large dark spot. "I'd say it was a direct cause of whatever she was hit on the head with. And as with most ruptured aneurysms, Karissa sustained irreversible brain damage."

"Meaning…?" Olivia wondered aloud, though not so sure if she wanted to be given an answer.

"Meaning," Dr. Lauria finally stopped at a door. He wrapped his hand around the knob and glanced at Olivia and Elliot one more time before going in. "That Karissa will be in a permanently vegetative state for the rest of her life, only being kept alive by a respirator." Leaving that last thought to settle on the minds of the detectives, he entered Karissa's room.

As Elliot and Olivia filed in, they took in the whole room, giving their eyes any excuse not to settle to the bed. The mundane, white atmosphere, bitter hospital smell, lack of anything but medical equipment, they'd seen it all before. Finally swallowing the lumps in their throats, they turned to Karissa. Just as the doctor had said, the plastic blue and white respirator was sticking out of her mouth, held by a piece of tape.

Her as good as black hair reached just below her ears, covering her deeply tanned and motionless face. There would have been a look of serenity about her had the respirator, IVs, heart rate machine, and every other medical machine not been hooked up to her, like a million strings on a puppet.

Olivia closed her eyes and cleared her throat, getting the attention of the two men next to her. "Did you perform a rape kit on her?"

Dr. Lauria raised an unsuspecting eyebrow at her, turning back to the clipboard. "No. She claimed she wasn't raped and she refused to let us examine her."

"Would it be possible to perform one on her now?" Elliot asked what he knew his partner had been thinking.

"I suppose we could," he shrugged. "But you'd have to get permission from the closest family member."

"The husband," Olivia translated, feeling Elliot's gaze land on her. Suddenly, she felt a prickling against her neck, thinking back to her last 'meeting' with Mr. Perry. _Don't think about that Olivia,_ she ordered herself mercilessly. _You have to keep the line between victim and cop. He didn't mean anything by it, just forget it and move on._ She knew that if she didn't, it would only further prove to Don and everyone else that she couldn't be back at work, thoughts that she couldn't afford right now. "Let's go." She smacked her lips and plastered a distinctly forced smile across her face.

--XXX--

"You sure you want to come? I can talk to him alone if you want." Elliot ignored the boundaries he'd set for himself when it came to Olivia. He'd seen her expressions the last time they'd talked to Perry, and his concern weighed out all else.

"I can do this El," she assured him, now with a genuine smile as they walked in the direction of the waiting room, talking their leisurely time now that they were short a doctor.

"Okay, but if want, just say the word and we'll leave." He spoke with such a fervor and passion that he received a laugh from Olivia.

"Why thank you O' Lord Protector of Mine," she mock saluted him, managing to hold a serious expression while doing so. "I won't let you down." She jerked her hand out towards him and then stiffly shoved it down to her side.

"You wouldn't have lasted a day in the marines with a salute like that," he rolled his eyes insultingly, the faintest hint of a grin on his face.

"But you'd be my partner and help me, wouldn't you?" She pouted out her bottom lip and looked up, resembling one of those big-eyed Precious Moments figurines.

Elliot felt his heart skip a beat as he gazed into her deep brown eyes. Realizing he'd been quiet for too long, he joked it off. "Partner? Did I say a day? Make it an hour."

Their good moods were instantly subdued once the detectives caught sight of Perry in the waiting room. His expression had lightened somewhat, as much as one's could after their wife being raped and beaten and left to live in a coma for the rest of her life. Tears were no longer streaming down his face, but the stains were still visible.

"Mr. Perry?" Elliot stepped forward, leaving Olivia behind him, a place she made no movement to leave at first.

"Detectives," he nodded absent-mindedly, noting that he remembered them. There was an awkwardness between them as they all thought about Perry's previous actions.

"Mr. Perry," Elliot began, folding his hands in front of him.

"Call me Mitch," he interrupted him in a shaky voice, "please."

"Mitch," Elliot emotionlessly corrected himself. "We have reason to believe that your wife was raped when she was attacked." At this, his eyes merely watered and he miserably nodded, having come to terms with that already. "We'd like to perform a rape kit, to try and find any evidence that her attacker may have left behind." Elliot produced a hospital document and a pen from behind his back and held it towards the hesitant Mr. Perry. "But we need your permission."

"Okay." He accepted the paper and haphazardly scribbled his signature at the bottom.

--XXX--

"Are you sure we should do this now?" There was a minuscule amount of worry in Elliot's voice, but that's all that was needed for Olivia to hear it.

"Why not?" Was her defiant response. "We're here, he's here, and we're on our way to Warner's anyway." It had been almost four hours since they'd first arrived at the hospital. Olivia and Dr. Lauria had finally finished the rape kit on Karissa. To Olivia, it was so emotionless and so cold, she tried to push it from her thoughts. That's not to say that a conscious victim was any better, most in tears through the whole thing, but when she just laid there, like she was asleep… Olivia just shuddered slightly, focusing on the task at hand.

The doctor had found semen on Karissa, and she and Elliot knew that they had to get a DNA sample from the husband, only to exclude any that may have belonged to him. Of course, there was always the chance that _he_ could have been the attacker, but unless he was a sociopath, the two found that really unlikely.

"Hey Mitch." Olivia greeted him for the second time today, deciding that kindness coming from a woman would be the best way to get him to participate willingly.

"Did you finish? Can I go see my wife now?" He rose right away, desperation in his eyes as he nervously rolled his hands together.

"Yes, we finished the rape kit, but I need to ask you something." Olivia stepped to her side and blocked him from the exit.

"What? Whatever it is, just as long as I can go see my wife."

The detective took a deep breath and released it before continuing. She had to be cautious with her words, knowing how sensitive this situation was. "The rape kit was positive." At his confusion, she clarified. "We found semen in your wife."

He closed his eyes and bit his lip, turning his gaze away for a moment as he sighed angrily. "Why do I have to know this?" Perry demanded of her, a typical reaction.

"Because we need a DNA sample from you, to compare to the semen we found."

"What?" His eyes widened again, though as a result of anger this time. Trying to keep that line between cop and victim, Olivia refused to show any fear or hesitation. She kept her position without movement. "You think _I_ did this?" He growled, his face scrunching up in rage.

"No." Olivia held her hands up defensively. "We just want to-"

"I'd never touch my wife!" Without warning, he curled his fist up and sent a right hook to her face, causing her cry out. It met her jaw with a sickening thud, sending Olivia's head to the side and the force throwing her back against the wall.

Before either could react, Elliot leapt at Perry, knocking him to the ground. He shoved one of his wrists on top of the other and pulled a pair of handcuffs out. Just as he was about to slap the cold metal against his wrist, Olivia's voice paused him.

"El, stop!" She didn't physically interfere, but she yelled loud enough to pull Elliot's gaze at her. A small line a blood beaded up at the corner of her mouth, barely enough to offset the expression on her face, a mix of fear and something else Elliot couldn't read. "Let him go."

Elliot, still dazed, looked down to see Perry's figure shaking underneath him. He was sobbing and mumbling incoherently, Elliot only being able to make the word 'sorry' out.

"I'm fine El." She reached down and grabbed his arm, yanking him to his feet. "Let's go." Flashing a last look at Perry, she picked up Karissa's sexual assault kit box and walked out of the waiting room, Elliot behind her.


	3. Love's Like Walking A Tightrope

Yay! Reviews! Thanks a bunch! **Katydidit-**All right, you can yell at the clueless detectives. Won't do much good for a few more chapters though. **Lady Padfoot II-**Writing is definately my passion! I have seriously considered it as a career. The only thing not so appealing is the lack of money involved, or so I've heard. I'm debating between that and maybe a legal career? But if I wrote and published a book, you'd buy it, right? ;) **Lucky Ducky20-** No, no more hitting Olivia. I just did that to set this chapter up.

This chapter isn't very long, just some more OE angst! Oh, and I couldn't resist taking Elliot's shirt off. He doesn't do it nealy enough on the show if you ask me... ;)

**Chapter 3 - Love's Like Walking a Tightrope**

"Liv! Hold up!" Elliot jogged forward, resisting the screaming urge to grab her shoulder and slow her down.

"El, I'm fine." She finally planted her feet on the ground and gazed up at Elliot, cupping her chin in her hand.

"Can I see?" He shoved a hand in his pocket, searching around for the Kleenex he normally kept there. Feeling his hand wrap around it, Elliot pulled the material out, still waiting for Olivia's answer.

"It's just a cut," she sighed, lowering her hand to her side. She looked up at Elliot with impatient eyes. Paternal instincts taking over, he held her chin with one hand and started dabbing at the corner of her bloody mouth with the tissue until it was clean. "So, will I live doc?" Olivia let the uninjured corner of her mouth curl up in a lopsided smile as she watched Elliot's concerned blue eyes study her over.

These were the times that made Olivia question whether their friendship was just that, or something more. She'd never met another man like Elliot, and God knows she probably never would. Every other relationship she'd had eventually fizzled out or just came to an abrupt halt. None of them had any real depth or emotion behind them, at least, not for the guys. Most had ulterior motives than just wanting to be with her. They saw a relationship as an opportunity to use her, just like that crime scene reporter she'd dated awhile back. How easily he'd played her like silly putty still angered her when she thought about it. Or if it wasn't to use her, he was in it for a one-night stand, after which he'd run.

But Elliot, _God… Elliot,_ he was different, pure and selfless in his actions. He'd put anyone's welfare ahead of his own, no matter the cost. He was one of the people who genuinely cared for her and that always been underneath to catch her when she fell. In fact, it was one of those moments that the spark of something more than a friendship appeared…

It had been another day, another case. But this one, this one had crawled under Olivia's skin. It was really starting to eat away at her. A man they'd put on trial had tried to use genetics as he defense, that his genetic make-up was responsible for his actions, because his father had done the same things.

While she'd been waiting in court for the verdict, she felt like it would affect her too. What if the jury found him innocent? Then that would only further prove the one thought that had haunted her entire life - that she would end up like her parents. If genetic material were to blame for how we turned out, then she'd become a drunk and a rapist. Even with the guilty verdict, the thought still plagued her.

It had still been on her mind when she was in the squad room with Elliot that night. That's why she asked him if he wondered how his children would turn out. He'd replied with a shrug and indirect answer, prompting Olivia's next statement.

"Well, at least you know what you're passing onto your kids," she remarked with a sad smile as she tossed her coat on. "Half of my genetics are drunk and the other half violent and cruel." Letting that settle on his shoulders, she turned to leave, unprepared for his next statement.

"And look how great you turned out."

Damnit Stabler…_ How did he always know what to say to pick me up? And why did he always bother? She was content with thinking what she wanted to. His comments would only start an argument between herself, with neither side winning or backing down. And she cherished their relationship, whatever it may be, for that. For the fact that, despite what she was feeling, Elliot would never let her see herself as anything but perfect and wonderful as she was._

"Does it hurt?" Elliot gently ran his fingertips over the injured area, waiting for a reaction from Olivia.

"Hmm!" She mumbled in pain, jerking her head back from Elliot's touch. She brought her hand back up and cradled her chin like she had a toothache, sending a glare to her partner.

"I take that as a yes?" He raised his eyebrows and held out the already bloody tissue towards her.

"I'm fine," she asserted, yet grabbing the Kleenex anyway and holding it against the cut. "Come on. We have to get this over to Warner." She readjusted her grip the small white box in her hand, making sure she hadn't forgot it in everything.

"What about your jaw?" Elliot stepped in front of her, blocking her exit through the sliding glass doors. "Do you think you should see a doctor?"

"This is nothing," she sighed to hide her appreciation for all his fretting. She treasured the fact that she even had someone like that in her life, slightly irritating or not. "I've seen broken jaws before-"

"Broken? He broke your jaw?" Elliot's eyes widened, first in bewilderment, then fury. "I'm gonna kill 'em!" He stormed past her, picking up pace as he headed towards Perry, like a jealous boyfriend ready to beat up any guy that touched Olivia.

Olivia felt a prickling of worry tickle her stomach at his reaction, causing her to lunge out and wrap her arm around his elbow to halt him. "Hey Mr. Testosterone, hold up." At that, Elliot glanced over his shoulder, his previous rage dwindling under her gaze. "I appreciate the offer," she glared with a grin, each action canceling out the other, "but you didn't let me finish. I've seen broken jaws before, _and_ this doesn't come close." She nonchalantly waved her free hand next to her mouth. "Just forget it."

Elliot stepped one leg around so he was completely facing Olivia again. His head tilted against his shoulder as studied her unusually patient face. "But he hit you!" Elliot foolishly started debating, the fact that he'd never won even one argument with her fleeing from his mind at the moment. "That's assaulting a police officer!"

Olivia's lips twisted into a partly irritated, party amused grin as she folded her arms, shifted her weight onto her right foot, and stood back. "How many times have you been 'assaulted,' El?" Just as he was about to reply, she threw another condition into the question. "And pressed charges against them?" Elliot's open mouth just hung slack at that, all his previous cases flashing in front of his eyes as he searched for some exception to his partner insinuated accusation. Olivia watched on, entertaining herself with his silence. "Exactly," she smiled, pleased at another victory. "Drop it," she ordered warningly, unfolding a hand and making an 'enough' signal with it.

"But this is different!" He knew it was a feeble statement in any dispute to change her mind, but it escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"Different how?" She challenged, still refusing to take any of his comments to heart or interpret them as insults. That wasn't Elliot, and Olivia knew it. Of course, it didn't make jerking him around any less fun.

"Because you're-"

"What?" She interrupted, shifting her crossed arms against her chest as a smirk crossed her face. "A woman? You don't want to say that," Olivia spoke in a teasing voice as she unraveled Elliot's 'plan of attack', step by step. "Then you'd be acting sexist. _But_, if you don't say that, you'll have to just agree with me. Either way, I'd be right, meaning you're stuck." With those three last words, she locked her eyes onto Elliot's, watching as the baby blue pools steadily lost hope.

"So there's no way to talk you into it," he sighed, allowing his flexed muscles to relax, giving more of a statement then question.

Olivia thoughtfully chewed her bottom lip as she pondered that over. "Well, one." She held a solitary finger up before closing it back into her hand. "If you tell me what's been bothering you lately, then I'll even let you slap the cuffs on him."

Elliot felt his stomach flip like an acrobat in response to Olivia's short, yet powerful sentence. Under her stare, he suddenly felt like a kid who just got caught sneaking a look at his father's Playboys, sweaty palms, shorted breaths, dry mouth. Though it did, should this really have surprised him? Eight hours a day, at least five days a week for seven years, without a doubt were they able to read each other's emotions. But _damnit_! He assumed there'd at least be a chance that it could also work vice versa. Maybe this wasn't a good thing to test that theory on.

"What are you talking about?" Elliot shifted his weight awkwardly from foot to foot, barely keeping his balance as he blew any cover he'd managed to scrape together beforehand.

Olivia didn't speak and instead narrowed her eyes in a 'don't-act-like-I-don't-know-what-I'm-talking-about' glower. When Elliot eyes darted around, seeking anything else to focus his sight on, she felt like bringing the back of her hand across his face and slapping some sense into him. She cared about him so much… But he was standing here, lying straight to her face!

"Nothing's bothering me," he shrugged indifferently, plucking the sexual assault box from her hand before she could pull it away. Finally meeting her stare, his was a forced blankness as he spoke. "Gotta get this to Warner," he held it up, flying past her towards the door.

"Liar…" Olivia growled to herself, frowning as her partner disappeared from sight.

--XXX--

"The Samone case…" Olivia moaned, shutting her eyes as she rubbed the front of her forehead with her right hand as her left one clutched a mug of steaming hot coffee. She absent-mindedly twirled it around, a reflex to cool the burning liquid to a tolerable temperature. A collection of folders grew under her arms, cases with paperwork that she'd long since put off finishing. The grunt work, number one on the list of cons for her job. She was dead on her feet and couldn't rack her brain hard enough to remember when they'd indicted the perp for this case.

But fatigue really wasn't what was throwing her off. She'd pulled an all-niter for three days straight before, only cramming in an hour of two in the crib each night. No, her real problem's name was Elliot.

_J__ust forget about him for five seconds already!_ A deep, dormant crevice in her mind came to life and screamed in her ear. _You're not superwoman! You can't always fix everything! _

_Fine,_ she snapped back, silencing the voice back into hibernation. _He's forgotten… for now._

And she remained good to her word, shutting down every part of her brain that she didn't need to file papers for the next hour or so. In fact, she threw herself so deeply into it that she failed to notice as her partner walked up behind her.

"Liv-" Elliot only managed the one word before Olivia snapped to life and jumped back in surprise. Her hands flew next to her head, bringing the open mug full of boiling coffee straight up as well. The liquid was thrown backwards, meeting the bottom of his shirt, right were his stomach was.

Elliot cried out in alarm and pain as he felt the coffee soak through his two shirts and press against his stomach, burning his skin.

"El! Are you okay!" Olivia's sluggishness disappeared and she sobered up, watching Elliot with guilty wide eyes.

The detective's mind was elsewhere as his instincts and pain reflexes took over, drowning out Olivia's voice. Only three words made it to his brain stem. _Get. Shirt. Off!_ Listening, he frantically yanked his light blue cotton shirt over his head, taking his muscle shirt with it. He drew both arms from the material until the bundle ended up in his left hand, leaving him naked from the waist up.

Elliot forgot about all other inhabitants in the squad room as he looked down to examine his stomach. A bright red, circular welt was already raising from his well-toned abs, the skin raw and inflamed. He gingerly ran his fingers over the muscles and burn, wincing as he did so.

"El, I'm so sorry!" Olivia was still sitting in her chair, a shocked expression on her face as she still held the coffee mug upside down, unaware of the occasional trickle that fell from the lip. She moved her eyes from his face downward, landing eye level with his stomach. Canvassing his six-pack, a grin escaped her. "Well, kind of. If I'd known it was that easy to get your shirt off, I would have tried it years ago." She barely attempted to stifle the laugh in her throat as she watched his cheeks start to flush a crimson red in embarrassment.

While Olivia was trying not to roll around the floor in laughter, Elliot swiped his blazer from the back of his chair and awkwardly threw it on as he made his way back to the lockers to get the spare shirt he always kept in there.

A few minutes later he arrived back in the squad room, wearing a twin of the dress shirt that was now stained and crumpled up in a ball next to his desk. He found Olivia getting up from the floor, holding a handful of light brown dyed paper towels. It looked like she cleaned up the remains of whatever failed to land on him.

Feeling a stare on her, Olivia turned her head to find Elliot standing by his desk, a new shirt on. He still appeared flustered as he took his seat. She scrunched the napkins into a ball and sent them sailing into the wastebasket as she pulled up her chair so that she was facing Elliot.

"I'm so sorry El," she sincerely apologized this time, no rippling muscles to sidetrack her. "You startled me."

"It's all right," he shrugged apathetically, leaning his elbows against the metal desk.

"How's your stomach?" There was a hopefulness in her voice that she hadn't burnt him too badly.

"It's all right." He felt his hand subconsciously trace its way to the wound, feeling the heat radiating from it through his shirt. He tried to ignore the throbbing as he focused on Olivia's face, for the first time noticing her swollen lip. "How's your lip?" He switched the attention to her.

At the mention of it, her hand shot up to explore the swelling. Realizing the extent, she frowned and curled her fingers back into her fist. "Swollen. How's your hand?"

"What?"

"Your hand." She nodded to his left hand resting amongst _his_ huge pile of papers. The bandage Elliot saw reminded him that he'd scraped it up against that fence a few days ago while in pursuit of a suspect. It had totally slipped his mind.

Grinning at his and Olivia's game of 'who's got the most injuries,' he picked it up and made a fist, releasing each finger one at a time. "It's fine."

Acutely aware of the smile on his face, Olivia decided to take advantage of it to try and pull out of him whatever he was hiding. "So, I guess perps really love you and me."

As soon as Elliot heard the phrase "love you," his head snapped up. Instead of turning away once he knew what had really been said, he kept his eyes where they were, sinking into the beauty of Olivia. Before he could stop himself, his thoughts burst through his mouth. "I do…"

"What?" Olivia's smile never left her mouth as she heard an inaudible mumble from Elliot.

"Nothing." Elliot drew back from the desk and got to his feet. "I have to go get a file, or something…" He tripped over his own excuse as he retreated into a back room, leaving Olivia with one foot in his heart and one still out, hanging her in mid-air.


	4. Munch: Not To Be Used As A Mediator

Thanks for the reviews everybody! **sprchick123-**I guess I did go a little over board on the Simple Plan lyrics in the other story. I just got their new CD while I was writing it so the lyrics just kinda got stuck in my head. ;) Same with Avril. I _love_ music of all kinds! I know each and every song whose lyrics I put up. **Katydidit-**Okay, last line sucked, I know. It sounded good at like one in the morning when I wrote it though. Don't even ask me what I was thinking. **anon.**-Writing of some sort is definately in my future. And I love that everyone else thinks so too! Makes me so happy... :)

Okay, fair warning before I start. All day I've been in bed nursing a box of tissues and a bottle of Allegra. My damn allergies have been acting up all day and they bug the crap out of me! Anyway, upside is I finally managed to write another chapter. I think my frustration inspired this, so that probably explains it. But I was drifting in and out of consciousness when I was writing, so let me know if anything is way off and I'll try to fix it. And I made this a Munch chapter just because I know a bunch of you guys like him. ;) Enjoy.

**Warning! Munch: Not To Be Used As A Mediator**

"Hey Liv, what are you still doing here?" Munch entered the squad room with a cup of coffee in hand. He'd long since been discouraged to touch the squad's coffee maker with his own 'special recipe,' so he frequently went out. The clock was starting to push towards the nine o'clock mark and Olivia had made a point of saying she planned to leave around eight. Yet there she was, slumped over her desk, though it was clear of any paperwork.

"Hm?" At his rough voice, she raised her head from her folded arms and tried to stifle a yawn as she rubbed her eyes to clear her vision. She'd been about five seconds away from total unconsciousness. She turned to John with half-closed and exhausted eyes as she automatically pushed her fingers through her tangled hair.

"I asked what you were still doing here." John held up the hand containing the coffee cup and stuck his forefinger towards her spotless desk. "You seem like _you_ managed to take a bite out of your cases." He spoke somewhat bitterly as the toppling stacks on his desk wavered threateningly.

"Yeah…" Her voice was distant as she stared out a window a few feet from John, her eyes settling on some invisible object a few yards away.

"What's up?" He downed a gulp of the coffee, feeling the familiar comfort of the bitter black taste splashing on his tongue.

"Just thinking," she shrugged, twisting her face like she'd just got a bad taste in her mouth.

"Anything an old soul could enlighten you on?" He offered, pulling a smile and soft chuckle from Olivia.

Her distant gaze returned as she contemplated revealing some of her thoughts to John. Through his cynical jokes, she knew there was probably something he could help her work out. That and dumping some of her problems on him might clear her mind enough to work her own feelings out. "Men," was her simple response.

"Oh hey! I'm one of those!" He pointed out with a feigning exuberance as a mischievous grin landed on his face.

"Thank you for the informative headline," she snapped with a sarcastically elated tone. Her frustration with Elliot was beginning to creep into her relationships with everyone else. Noting her mistake, she began apologizing when John spoke up first.

"Oh, okay." He spoke with a sudden realization and began nodding his head understandingly. "So who is he?"

"Who's who?" Olivia sat against the back of her chair as she swung one leg on top of the other.

"Whatever guy you're having problems with."

"It's not really a problem, but- Hey, wait." Olivia started answering before she remembered that she'd never said anything to lead him to believe that. "Who said I'm having problems with someone?"

"Anyone who's ever lived with a woman longer than a minute," he smiled slyly before elucidating. "With women, they generalize things. Meaning if they have a problem with one man," he held his forefinger out, "then all men are scum," he opened the rest of his hand out and made a sweeping motion with his palm down. He answered the question on Olivia's face before she even configured it in her own mind. "With four ex-wives, I was frequently the 'bad-guy' 'scum of the earth,' my fault or not."

Olivia just shook her head and released a dry scoff, settling her rolling eyes on her partner's desk. She relished in the silence before breaking it with a telling sigh. No point in hiding it anymore. "It's Elliot." Her eyes never moved from the empty swivel chair as she continued. "He's been acting strange lately, but he refuses to talk to me. He just keeps insisting that nothing's wrong."

"And how do you know it's not?" Munch reacted like his normal argumentative self.

"Woman's intuition, mister expert." More seriously, she continued. "I know he's hiding something from me, but I can't figure out what."

"And you want me to talk to him?" John speculated the obvious, striking his narrow brown eyes in a glare over his glasses.

"I'll think about letting that 'woman' comment slide if you do," she bartered, sending him her own glare.

Smirking, Munch retorted with a simple, "Consider it done."

--XXX--

Indiscreetly poking his head through the squad room door, Elliot scanned the room to make sure Olivia wasn't there. Rather bittersweet, he found it empty of anyone but Munch, who was poking random buttons on his computer keyboard with only one hand, the other holding up his head.

Hearing a shuffling across the room, John's eyes shot towards it, the rest of him motionless. "Hey, how's it going?"

_Wonderful!_ He wanted to lash out and scream. _It's barely been twenty-four hours since I realized I fell in love with my partner, and in that time I've come seconds away from admitting it on numerous occasions. Even better, she's a few steps away from figuring it out anyway._ Instead of answering with that, he came back with a half-hearted, "fine."

"And you sound it," he commented satirically, stealing his stare back to the glowing screen in front of him.

"Whatever," Elliot grumbled under his breath, pulling his swivel chair beneath him.

Unbeknownst to Elliot, Munch was still watching him from the corner of his eye, recalling his 'deal' with Olivia. He'd sworn to talk with him, and he'd be true to his word, if he could just figure out where to start. All his life he'd been shrinked by one person or another, by rabbis, marriage counselors, and psychiatrists, yet he'd never attempted such a feat himself. Besides, he'd simply tuned most of them out with the understanding that he knew more about himself and life than they could ever hope to. Getting under Olivia's skin wasn't overly difficult, though he'd been purely guessing when he hit the nail on the head with her.

Maybe he should just start with incredibly invasive questions until something pulled a reaction from him, the typical 'Munch' way.

"How have you been lately?" _Oh yeah, that sounds like something I'd casually ask just to start up conversation,_ John chided himself as he flicked the computer monitor off, the glare beginning to burn his eyes.

"In seventh heaven," Elliot sighed resentfully, scratching a pencil against a loose piece of paper.

"How are your kids doing?" Munch knew his personal questions would arouse suspicion, but subtlety was largely over-rated in his opinion.

"Fine." Just as Olivia was, Elliot appeared much too distracted to spare any in-depth concentration or attention to the game of twenty questions. The detective's sight never left the paper he was so busily concerning himself with.

"Maureen started college this year, right?"

"Yep." Elliot's eyebrows furrowed in thought as his eyes scanned over his desk, shoving the paper to the side. "Do you have the file for the suspect on the Granger case?"

"Yeah," John replied somewhat hesitantly, spinning himself around to gaze at the piles of folders that somehow had appeared to multiply while his back had been turned. "Pick a file, any file," he muttered under his breath, feeling like the old cliché, 'finding a needle in a hay stack', could really apply here.

Elliot turned to watch John randomly start flipping through the off-white folders, obviously having no clue. "On second thought, never mind." He pulled a different case from the numerous ones he had to pick from.

"I'll find it!" He insisted, quickening his searching pace. "You staying 'til you finish all those?" Munch wondered inquisitively.

"Probably-" Elliot's voice was caught off with a sudden yawn. He held his hand to his mouth, leaning his elbow against the desk.

"You'll be here all night, what about your social life?"

He was met with a dry, sardonic laugh that normally John would have expected to come from his own mouth. "Good one. Me. A social life. _Right_."

"Oh come on." John stopped shuffling through the papers atop his desk and focused back to Elliot, finally getting the type of reaction he'd been waiting for. He quickly set his mind to pushing the subject to see if he could get him to crack. "No special someone you like?" Elliot flashed him a cursory glance, an irritated hostility in his eyes, not speaking a word.

_Ding ding ding! I think we have a winner!_ John refused to be put off by a mere gaze as he realized he'd touched on a sensitive area. He was a man on a mission.

"You do!" He allowed the smallest smirk to cross his face as Elliot hung his head back down. "Who is it?"

"No I don't," he shot back warningly, "so nobody." He bent down to the side and pulled open the bottom drawer of his desk, making a squeaking metallic noise as it slid out. Casually sifting his hand through it, Elliot tried to ignore John's stares.

"Anyone I know?" John leaned back on his chair, folding his arms in marked amusement.

Elliot brought his head up eye level with John's, mustering up the most threatening, 'back-off' stare possible. "I doubt it, because _I_ don't even know her!"

"Denial," Munch clucked his tongue disapprovingly and shook his head back and forth once. "You should ask her out. I would if I were you."

Elliot suddenly released an immense gush of air from his lungs, failing to previously realize that he'd been holding his breath. He felt the frustration from today start to build up in his chest, morphing into a lump of pure anger.

"Why would I want your opinion?" He snarled, gritting his teeth together until he felt a stabbing paw in his jaw. "Relationship advice coming from a guy who's been divorced four times, _wonderful._" Biting sarcasm stung his every word, almost knocking John back in his chair.

Munch's face was mix of hurt and betrayal for only a second before his defensiveness kicked in, over-riding his previous thoughts.

"Yeah," he matched Elliot's tone, his facial features hardening. "Because you and your holier-than-thou attitude are so much better with only one divorce under your belt!"

At the mention of Kathy, Elliot shot to his feet, kicking back the chair. The scraping of the wheels against the linoleum was the only audible noise as the two men stared at each other in fury as John rose to his feet as well.

"What _in the hell _is that supposed to mean?" He stressed each word and syllable, deliberately and irately.

"You brought it up!" John shouted back and jabbed his finger accusingly, raising his voice higher and higher to match with Elliot's. "I may have been divorced four times, but at least I never abandoned them after they gave birth to my four kids!"

Throwing his kids into the war, John might as well have taken out his gun and shot Elliot point blank. Though caught off guard, Elliot quickly recovered and came back with more malevolence than ever before.

"I didn't _abandon_ them or Kathy!" He shrieked in outrage, moving a few steps closer towards the figure he was directing all his hatred towards. "She left me!"

That declaration came as a sudden surprise to John. He knew Elliot and Kathy were getting a divorce, but he'd been foggy with the details. A tiny ounce of guilt started to rise in his chest, but it evaporated as he replayed Elliot's words in his head.

"And _I _was the one that broke up all _my_ marriages!" John yelled sarcastically, also closing in the gap between them with a few steps of his own.

"You and your stupid government conspiracy theories! Maybe if you paid as much attention to your wives as you did to them, you wouldn't be spending your nights writing out alimony checks!" Elliot spat his words like venom, looking only to inflict emotional damage now.

"Maybe if you spent more time with your kids and wife instead of here, she wouldn't have left you!" John's face was a crimson red as his chest heaved and he screamed in a rage.

Elliot's final footstep forward brought his face only inches from John's. "I was-!"

"Hey!"

Before he could finish, Elliot was interrupted by Cragen's voice coming from the squad room doors. He was flanked by Fin and Olivia. Neither man batted an eye as they continued their showdown, ignoring the yell.

Fin quickly appeared next to Elliot and Munch. In a second, he had placed a hand on each of the detectives' shoulders and shoved them back. He moved both hands to his partner and pushed him back farther while Cragen did the same with Elliot. Fin searched John's infuriated face before craning his neck to see Elliot's.

"What the hell's going on?" Olivia spoke what everyone was thinking, a bewildered daze in her eyes as they traveled back and forth between the two men.

"Nothing!" Elliot growled, spinning around on his heels and storming out the nearest exit.

"I 'talked' to him," Munch snapped at her, taking off towards the opposite exit. Fin gave Olivia a perplexed glance before he ran after his partner.

Olivia merely stared at the empty doorway, the expression of a lost child upon her face as her mind tried to figure out what had just happened. Tediously, she turned to see her captain watching her with a confused look as well.

"Do you know what that was about?" He wondered softly, studying her.

"I have no idea." In a defeated attitude, she shook her head and ripped her coat from the back of her chair. It wasn't until she had stuffed both arms through the sleeves that Cragen spoke again.

"Are you going to go talk to Elliot?" He pointed his thumb over his shoulder, towards the door.

"No." She shook her head, releasing a rueful smile as a fed-up look covered her face. "I give up." She threw her hands out to the side and let them fall against her hips as her eyes explored the floor. "I try to care, try to work things out, but it never works. So you know what?" Olivia finally met Don's stare as she folded her arms. "I give up." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just give up. Elliot can do whatever the hell he wants and I'm not going to even bother anymore. Forget it." Shaking her head with a beaten expression, Olivia began walking towards the door, the words 'I give up' still lingering on her lips.

--XXX--

"Now, let's do a right hook, left hook, then right jab." Billy Blank's voice instructed as it floated from the speakers of Olivia's television set. She was dressed in a pair of black Capri leggings and a light blue sports bra as she rhythmically jabbed her fists into the air, following the instructor's count. Olivia was working out to her Tae-Bo tape for the second time that night.

When the 'Tae-Bo craze' had first hit, Olivia found it just as ridiculous as everyone else did. Then a friend convinced her to try it for the first time a couple years ago. She'd been hooked ever since. Normally, it was such a huge stress reliever and helped to clear her mind. It was like her own form of meditation.

As of lately though, not even _it_ could help her shove the thoughts from her mind. Honestly, she didn't know what to think about what had happened between Elliot and John. After leaving the station house, she hadn't heard a word from anyone, not that she was listening all too closely. As far as she was concerned, she just didn't care anymore. Something was obviously going on with Elliot, but he was behaving like he'd take it to the grave before telling anyone, especially Olivia. And that was perfectly fine with her, or so she kept telling herself.

Watching the screen flicker to black, Olivia released a sigh and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Just as she was about to rewind the tape again, she heard the ringing of her cell phone. Grabbing her coat and fumbling through the pocket, her hand emerged with the phone. She flipped it open and brought it to her ear.

"Benson."

"Hey Olivia." She was somewhat surprised to hear the gruff voice of Fin on the other end.

"Hey Fin." She shoved her wet, matted hair behind her ears and adjusted the phone against her shoulder. "What's up?"

"Just calling to see how you're doing. You left pretty quick and the Cap seemed worried."

"Yeah," Olivia subconsciously nodded. "I'm fine."

"'Kay." There was a hesitance in his voice as he paused.

"Something else?"

"I was just wondering, d'you know what Elliot said to Munch before we got there?"

"No, why would I?" Olivia picked up the phone with her left hand as she brought her right arm across her chest.

"John was yelling something about talking to Elliot just 'cause you asked him to. I figured you might know."

"I just asked him to see if he could find out if anything was wrong with Elliot. Why? Is he okay?"

"He's all right." Olivia could almost sense Fin shrugging on the other end of the phone. "But whatever Elliot said really got to him. I've never seen him so upset."

"Oh…" She was at a loss of words for an explanation to her partner's behavior.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'll let you go."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," he confirmed. "And Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"You know my number, if you ever want to talk or anything."

"Thanks Fin." Olivia gave a small smile at Fin's rare offer. "Night."

"Night."

Olivia brought the phone down a flipped it shut, staring at it intently as she pondered her next move. Catching sight of the clock on her wall and how late as it was, she decided to take a quick shower and hop into bed. Besides, didn't they say things always looked better after a good night's rest? As doubtful a cliché as it was, it couldn't hurt.


	5. Silent Treatments And Time Outs

Thanks for the reviews everybody! **Katydidit-**You just can't get over that last line huh? You're just going to beat it like a dead horse aren't you? After I was all nice and wrote that Munch chapter for you. Fine, just keep making fun of me then. –Evil glare- Since you have absolutely diminished my self-esteem and any confidence I once had in my writing skills, I'm just going to go hide in a dark corner and stay there, refusing to update ever again. Seriously, I was heavily medicated on cold and allergy medicine when I wrote that. Leave me alone! And see if I ever update again.:( Humph! … Just kidding, kind of… ;) **AglaiaWar-**Allergies are horrible, aren't they? I hope you stay lucky and yours don't kick in. **nem-**Glad you approve of the chapter. ;) Gotta keep up the tension. Anyway, sorry about your cold, that totally sucks. I know, let's call AglaiaWar and have a pity party! I'll bring the tissues!

Now I'm posting two chapters, and you all better worship me for it. I just spent three straight hours writing this. And believe me, it's definately worth it. Oh, and if you want to make me reallyhappy check out the Song-fic I just wrote called "He Oughta Know That By Now." It's about Kathy and it's really good, I promise!

By the way, I had these two strange ideas, one for this chapter and one for the next. They should be pretty apparent (The time-out and handcuffs). Once I come up with an idea, I can't help but go with it, strange or not.

**Silent Treatments and Time Outs, How Mature**

A group of immature eight-year-old friends fighting with each other. That's the first thing that popped into Cragen's mind as he gazed out the window of his office and watched his detectives in the squad room. Each were sitting at their respective desks with their eyes glued to computer screens and files. Olivia, Elliot, and John acted as if everything was normal, aside from the cold wars going on. Fin seemed to be the only neutral party, glancing up awkwardly every now and then to see if anything had changed.

No one elaborated on what happened between Elliot and John, or on Olivia's outburst. But it wasn't hard to see where the grudges lay. Elliot and John hadn't even looked at each other all day, Olivia seemed to be miffed at both of them, especially Elliot, all of which left Fin to be the middleman. He'd spent the whole morning passing messages and cases back and forth between each of them.

Don just sighed and shook his head, pacing away from the window and towards his door. If they expected to make any developments on their cases, all these cold shoulders and silent treatments had to end. Even so, Cragen couldn't help but feel like a baby-sitter trying to solve a fight between siblings.

"All right, I wanna know what's going on with the three of you!" He demanded harshly, moving his glance from Elliot, to Olivia, to John, and back around as he waited for someone to speak. Elliot looked up at Don, then inverted his eyes towards a wall. Olivia indiscreetly shot a glare to her partner, before turning to Cragen with a blank expression. John watched Elliot from the corner of his eye and his face twisted into anger as he spoke first.

"Why don't you ask the self-righteous hypocrite over there?"

Elliot snapped his head back around to reveal the fire in his eyes at John's remark. "I'm not the one who's been divorced four times and criticizes somebody else because their wife left them!"

"Why in the hell do I even talk to you!" Munch threw his hands up in incredulity. "Oh right, because Olivia wanted me to."

"Hey!" Olivia shouted in sudden defense. "Don't bring me into this!" She held her hand up to her collar. "I told you to talk to him, not get in some huge fight!"

"Please! You knew damn well he'd never tell me anything!"

"You recruited Munch to dissect my personal life!" His eyes widened and he turned to Olivia.

"What the hell was I supposed to do! All you've done lately is push me away!" She smacked her hands against the desk and pulled herself to her feet so that she was looking down at Elliot.

"Because it's none of your business!" Elliot stood as well and leaned threateningly closer towards his partner.

"That's it!" Cragen stood at the side of their adjoined desks and held his arms between them like a bouncer breaking up a fist-fight. "All of you. In my office now!"

--XXX--

"Are any of you going to tell me what's going on or are you all going to give me the silent treatment like a bunch of little kids?" Cragen impatiently tapped his pencil against the top of his wooden desk as he studied the three feuding detectives. Each had shoved themselves into a separate corner of the office and had refused to make eye contact with anyone. When no one took advantage of the silence to explain anything, Cragen sighed and rubbed his forehead with his forefinger and thumb. "Fine. Then I'll treat you like little kids," he declared as he rose to his feet. "Everybody, stay where you are." Don walked around the edge of his desk to the door. "You're all in time out. I'm locking the door behind me and none of you are leaving until you work things out."

As the three stunned detectives opened their mouths to protest, Cragen slammed the door behind him. Sure enough, they heard the metal clicking of the lock engaging. The six eyes just stared at the door as they tried to comprehend what had just happened. It took only a minute for the reality to sink in and for the confusion to turn into frustration and hostility.

"This is all your guy's fault." John took a seat on the left-hand side of the room on top of an empty table.

"Our fault?" Elliot and Olivia repeated in unison as they stared at Munch.

"_You're_ the ones with some huge, unresolved issue with each other. I was just forcefully dragged into it."

"Right, you're _so_ innocent," Elliot shot back and stepped out of his corner on the other side of the room.

"Would both of you shut up?" Olivia's request came out as more of a demand as she fell back into an unsteady wooden chair. "At least act like you can stand to be in the same room for five seconds." She rubbed the bridge of her nose, right between her eyes to try and soothe the throbbing headache that she felt coming on.

Elliot turned his back to John and shook his head as he paced around. "I can't believe Cragen locked us in here." Just to be absolutely certain of their imprisonment, he grabbed the doorknob and twisted it left to right. Jiggling it a final time, he let his hand drop down to his side. "This is ridiculous."

Sighing, Olivia's eyes scanned over the room for some means of escape. There was no way she could stay cooped up in this room with Elliot and John and listen to them bicker and argue. A soft, irritated moan escaped her as she saw that the only way out was through the office door. "I don't have the energy to stay in here all day with you two." She cupped her forehead in her left palm and leaned forward in the chair.

"But you somehow manage to muster up the energy to butt into my life," Elliot muttered under his breath, leaning against the door with his arms folded.

"Which I wouldn't have done if you'd just get over yourself and tell me what's up with you!" Olivia's voice steadily rose as she jumped to her feet and faced her partner. The two stubborn detectives locked eyes, about a foot away from each other. John shifted on the table as he cautiously watched on. The two looked like they were both seconds away from physically attacking each other.

"What part of 'none of your business' is too hard for you to understand?" He slightly leaned forward, trying to intimidate Olivia into backing off. She merely mirrored his actions, too headstrong to give up.

"John's right," she declared, surprising the detective that had been silently minding his own business in the corner of the office. "You are a hypocrite." Olivia brought her finger and jabbed it into his chest, hard enough to draw him backwards. "When _I_ say it's none of your business, you stalk me and wind up asleep in front of my apartment door."

"Because I was concerned," he tried to defend himself, softening up at her true accusations.

"Well maybe _I'm_ concerned!" Olivia screeched and slammed her fist against Cragen's desk, causing Elliot and John to jump. Her cheeks were flustered in a rosy red color as the shell she'd formed around her repressed fury finally shattered. "Damnit Elliot!" Olivia took a deep breath, allowing her anger to melt away, leaving behind only hurt. She locked stares with Elliot and studied his eyes while tears glistened in hers. Her voice was quiet in betrayal. "When did you stop being able to trust me?"

"Liv…" Her words knocked the very breath from Elliot as she began to back away from him, shaking her head. The last thing she wanted to hear from him was more excuses. Her heart couldn't handle any more.

"I never…" Elliot's eyes remorsefully scanned her face as he desperately searched for something to take back his words. He couldn't believe he'd hurt her again. His intent had only been to push her away, not bring any more tears to her beautiful chocolate eyes. How did he always manage to cause the people he loved so much pain?

"Don't." Olivia turned her back, protectively wrapping her arms around her shoulders as she hid her face from sight. It was an attempt to hide the tears that both men had already seen. She wasn't the emotional one, so why did every little thing Elliot say cause her such grief? _Because you're realizing that he doesn't care for you the same way you care about him._

A clicking noise suddenly brought the group's attention to the front of the office. The door opened to reveal a frowning Cragen. "What's going-?" He was cut off as Olivia pushed by him, running out of the room.

"Wonderful idea, Cap, locking us in here." John commented sarcastically, patting Cragen on the shoulder.

--XXX--

"I just don't get it! Why won't he talk to me?" Olivia threw her hands in the air and increased the speed of her pacing as she bounced from one wall of the room to another.

"'Cause he's Elliot," Fin shrugged and braced himself against the back of a chair, becoming dizzy from his eyes following Olivia. He'd followed her into an interrogation room after she had fled from the Captain's office.

"But I'm his partner! We're supposed to be able to talk to each other," she insisted, running both her hands through her hair. "I have to do something."

"Whoa." As she strode by Fin, he seized the chance to step in front of her and force her to stand still. "Baby, first you gotta stop running around in circles before you make my eyes roll into the back of my head." He rested his hands on her shoulders and successively blinked his eyes to straighten out his vision.

"Sorry." She pulled uncomfortably out of his grip and sat against the edge of the table. She folded her arms and stared at her feet. "It's just, I _know_ something is off lately with him." No matter how many times she asserted that and came up with the same answer, Olivia somehow expected it to change. _Isn't that the definition of insanity?_ Her own mind mocked her. "Why can't he just talk to me?" She pleaded to herself.

"Like I said, he's Elliot." Fin copied Olivia's stature against the table right next to her, searching her helpless face. When his repeated answer bore no reaction from Olivia, he decided to give an example of what he meant. "How'd you find out he and Kathy split up?"

"Through the lawyer of a victim who claimed Elliot sexually harassed her. But what's that got to do with anything?" She stared back at Fin with puzzlement in her eyes.

"It means that _he_ didn't tell you. Elliot wants to keep his work life and his personal life totally unconnected, like everyone else in this kinda work."

"I know he does, but he used to be able to tell me things, even if I had to ride his ass for days about it." She threw in the last part jokingly, getting a chuckle from Fin, but barely pulling a meek smile onto her own face. Olivia's face quickly fell as she moved her gaze to the linoleum floor.

"Liv, it's probably something personal that he just doesn't want to involve you in." To lighten up her mood, he threw a sly grin on his face as he added something. "Or that he doesn't want the whole squad to know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She bent her head against her shoulder and studied his face, unsure what she was supposed to interpret that as.

"Remember I said something to one of the MEs about my son? It wasn't a day after when John started asking me about it." Olivia slightly blushed as she recalled the incident. She'd never heard any mention of a 'little Tutuola running around,' so she asked Munch if he knew anything.

"How's your son doing?" She wondered with genuine interest.

Fin bit his lip and shrugged in a 'so-so' fashion. "He can still hold a grudge like his old man, but it's better." He waited a few moments before speaking again. "Olivia, if you think whatever he's not telling you is important, then just try talking to him, without snapping his head off."

"He won't talk to me, that's the problem."

"Girl, this is _you_ we're talking about. If anyone can get him to open up, it'd be you." He playfully shoved her shoulder, finally managing to bring a real smile to her face, followed by a roll of her eyes and a comment about 'acting your age'. "And if he doesn't want to listen, give 'em hell and make 'em."

"Only if you carve that into my headstone after Elliot kills me for grilling him again," Olivia joked, receiving a throaty laugh from Fin as a plan starting unfolding in her mind.


	6. I Love You With All My Heart!

**I Love You With All My Heart!**

_Maybe I should just go into Narcotics or Homicide. At least I can't hurt Olivia if I'm not in the same squad with her._ Elliot seriously contemplated transferring as he saw Olivia's gorgeous face tracked with tears, tears that _he_ had been responsible for. She was already going through so much, trying to get back to normal after her attack, that she didn't need him adding to that.

Reaching out to grab the coffeepot from the little station set up next to the staircase, he realized he'd just lost any taste for the stuff. Dropping his hand, he was too preoccupied to notice the figure silently creeping up behind him.

Elliot was caught completely off guard as he felt his arm grabbed and jerked backwards. Unable to react in time, he recognized the feel of a handcuff slipping onto his right wrist. His unknown assailant took Elliot's other hand and wrenched it back until he had space enough to slap the other cuff on. The detective instinctively tugged against the restraints, only to be met with a wooden 'thunk'. His stomach dropped to the floor as he realized that he'd been handcuffed to one of the banisters along the staircase.

"What the hell's going on!" He demanded in fear, thrashing against the metal bindings and ignoring as they dug into his skin. "Who are you!"

"Hey, relax." Elliot felt a familiar pair of hands rest themselves on his wrists as an even more familiar voice floated to his ear.

"Olivia?" He craned his neck over his left shoulder to find his partner standing behind him, a handcuff key poking out of her closed fist. "What the-?" He watched on in wide-eyed bewilderment as she searched through his belt until she'd recovered his key as well. "What are you doing?" His anxiety and anger was completely overshadowed by his bafflement at the moment.

Olivia watched him with an empty stare, causing the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. After walking around the incapacitated Elliot, she faced him and finally spoke. "In the entire time I've been your partner, I always tried to hide things about my personal life from you. And every single time, you would either grill me, hound me, or stalk me to get me to talk, and I always ended up eventually telling you." She accusingly pointed her finger at his chest. "Stabler, I've shared practically every bit of _my_ personal like with you. And through all that, you never tell me anything about yours. I mean, you didn't even tell me about you and Kathy separating. I had to hear about it from a victim's lawyer instead of from you. Frankly," she crossed her arms, "I'm sick and tired of it. I've known you long enough to know that something is bothering you. Don't even deny it, because you're the one that gave me that huge speech about us knowing each other better than we know ourselves. And yet, you refuse to talk to me. So, here's the deal. I'm not uncuffing you until you talk to me and tell me what's wrong." Her eyes darted back and forth across his face, searching for some small piece of information to hold onto.

Elliot just gazed straight ahead with a dumbfounded stare as he grasped everything Olivia was saying. Everything she said was absolutely and completely true. He did know everything about her life while he rarely, if ever, shared any of his with her. But just because she was right didn't mean he would simply comply. Maybe his separation with Kathy was one thing, but he couldn't tell her how he'd fallen head over heels for her. And it wouldn't escape his lips if he had _any_ fight left in him.

"Taking the fifth?" She studied him as she slipped her hands into the pockets of her black slacks.

Elliot took a deep breath and locked eyes with his partner. This was going to have to be convincing as hell if he expected to get a lie past Olivia. "First of all," he began quietly, "nothing's wrong and I'm not hiding anything from you. Second, I can't believe you handcuffed me to the staircase! Unlock these now!" He rather foolishly demanded, tugging his arms forward.

"Suit yourself," she shrugged unscathed, heading across the room to her desk. "Though it's your wrists you're rubbing raw." As she fell into her swivel chair, the rather disquieting truth hitting him. Olivia was being serious.

"Olivia! I can't believe you're serious!"

She merely shrugged again and took a sip of coffee from the mug on her desk. "I didn't feel like stalking you, so I figured this was the next most effective thing."

"I wasn't stalking you!" He insisted again. "I was just trying to figure out what was wrong."

Olivia hesitated before answering in a low whisper. "Join the club."

Elliot simply shook his head in amazement as he assessed his situation. It took him seconds to see the hopelessness. The only option to get the cuffs off was with the key, both of which Olivia had, and there was no way to remove himself from the banister. Just as Elliot was about to literally starting screaming for help, Olivia's voice stopped him.

"Don't bother trying to yell for someone. It's pushing eight o'clock and everyone's long gone." She never met Elliot's eyes as she spoke in a calm and collected tone.

Staring at her, Elliot felt his mouth open in awe. "You really thought this through, didn't you?" The question was half impressed, half scared.

"Yep," was her simple response.

--XXX--

"I've got to admit, you have quite the endurance," Olivia remarked, glancing up at the clock on the wall. "It's been over a half an hour."

Throwing bloodshot eyes towards the time as well, Elliot saw she spoke the truth. As he shifted uncomfortably, he felt the physical affects taking their toll on his body. He arms and legs were cramped up and every time he moved his shoulders, a shooting pain passed through them. But his physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional anguish he would cause if he told her the truth. While he'd been tied up, he'd even thrown a few weak reasons at her, all of which she saw right though. Now he was banking in the chance of her growing weary and releasing him without an answer.

"You might be stubborn, but you know that I am the indisputable queen of stubbornness." Olivia stated with a tired grin. "I can stay here all night if that's what you want."

"I want you to let me go," he snapped, fatigue getting the better of him.

Olivia suddenly stood up from her chair and began walking in the direction of Elliot. She stopped so that she was a foot in front of him. "Just tell me what's going on and I will."

"Nothing is going on." His contradictions were becoming instinct to him. "What will it take for you to believe that?"

"The truth," she whispered, moving closer towards him. "Why can't you tell me the truth?" Olivia waited for him to answer, and continued when she didn't get one. "What happened Elliot? What is so taboo that you can't trust me to know?"

"You don't understand," Elliot's voice cracked as he hung his head, shaking it back and forth. "I can't…"

"No Elliot, _you_ don't understand." She leaned back and crossed her arms, pain pulsating through her blurry eyes. "God…" Olivia bit the side of her tongue and glanced away, a forced smile on her lips as she shook her head as well. "This doesn't even have anything to do with whatever you're not telling me." She began pacing slowly in a small circle, not meeting Elliot's stare. "I guess I should have seen this coming," she shrugged miserably. "I should have known it would only be a matter of time before you finally starting hating me too. I shouldn't be surprised after everything I did to you, but I just thought you were different." The all too familiar teardrops starting falling down her cheeks again as she started pouring her heart out to Elliot. "You know what the really sad thing is?" She locked tearful eyes with Elliot as an ironic smile curled the corner of her lips. "I actually thought there was something between us. How pathetic, right? Broken, screwed-up rape victim falling for her handsome coworker? And now I'm telling you…" she lamented miserably, watching as she single-handedly crumbled her world in her fist.

"Liv…" Elliot barely managed to squeak that one word out as he stared with wide eyes and an open mouth, absolutely floored by Olivia's sudden confession. There were so many different things he wanted to say in response that he ending up saying nothing at all. He yearned to finally confess his own feelings, tell Olivia how wrong she was about herself, and so much more that he couldn't even put into words.

A sob shook through Olivia as she interpreted Elliot's silence as a sign that she was right, that he was almost disgusted by her revelation. Fumbling through her pockets despite the tremors shaking her, she managed to find the key to the handcuffs. Somehow, she awkwardly unlocked one of the cuffs and stuffed the key into Elliot's free hand before dashing towards the exit.

Elliot quickly found himself and his voice as he watched the woman he loved dash out the door. He instantly took off after her, fiddling with the other cuff as he ran, barely noticing where he feet were flying to as he caught sight of Olivia.

"Olivia!" He shouted as they burst through the front door and onto the darkened streets, lit only with a few soft glowing street lamps. "No Liv, wait!" He stretched his arm out and grabbed her shoulder before she stepped off of the sidewalk. "Liv…" He felt her shaking underneath his hand as he turned her around to face him. There were rivers of tear flowing down her face of perfection as her deep sensual eyes stared into his.

Overwhelmed by the beauty and innocence enveloping Olivia at that instant, Elliot slowly lowered his face towards hers, finally meeting her lips with his. After a moment, he pulled away from the kiss just as delicately. Staring into her eyes, Elliot took Olivia's hands in his. "I don't hate you," he whispered so quietly that it never escaped from their embrace. "Olivia, I love you with all my heart. That's what I've been hiding from you."


	7. A Moment Custom Made To Order

Yay! Thanks for the reviews everybody! I can feel the love! Now all I need to do is find me a man with that kind of dedication and I'm all set... ;) **TheseBrokenWings-**Hey, I think your review got cut off. I'm in such suspense over here to know what you think! **nem-**Yay, pity party! I was waiting for your review to chapter 6, and I wasn't disappointed. ;) **Whitney-**Threats? Now is that anyway to get me to update? You better believe it:)

I have had writer's block for the past few days, so I just finally managed to write this. It's not much really. It's kinda short and it's more of a continuance of the last chapter. It's also more EO though, so I hope you like it! I'll _try_ to write a few long chapters this weekend, we'll see. (BTW, the song is called "Standing Outside the Fire" by Garth Brooks. I just can't get over my lyrics obsession, sorry!)

**A Moment Custom Made To Order**

Olivia wasn't sure how long she'd been staring up at Elliot, her tears freezing up as she scanned his eyes in astonishment, barely grasping onto what just happened. _I just kissed my partner,_ she told herself, hoping to convince herself it hadn't just been a dream. _No, no dream. His lips, my lips… wow._ Even though they had hardly touched and it hadn't lasted more than a second, Olivia had never experienced a kiss with more passion and love behind it. The back of her mind had always wondered what it would be like to kiss Elliot, and her imagination hadn't even come close.

As Olivia remained silent, Elliot quickly became uneasy and started second-guessing his actions. Maybe he came on too strong when he kissed her and brought up the 'L' word. Olivia had only said that she thought there was something between them, she'd never directly specified. Elliot did the only thing he could do, stand and wait patiently for Olivia to do something, her reaction holding his life in its hands.

Without warning, a soft smile spread across Olivia's face, yet still not convincing Elliot. She crossed her arms against the cold night air and shifted her weight from one foot to the other before breaking the hush between them. "You just always gotta one-up me, don't you?" Her voice was a soft, passionate tone as it brought a grin to her partner's face.

"You wanted the truth." Pitiful answer, but he was too swept-off-his-feet to really care.

"I did." Her grin didn't leave as she turned and started walking down the sidewalk, throwing another mixed signal at Elliot.

"Where are you going?" He didn't want to appear too over-bearing, but that was an odd place to end everything.

"That all-night diner two streets over," she nodded with her head and shoulder, her hands bundled up in her pockets. When the only reply she got was another baffled look from Elliot, she chuckled and decided to explain. "I'm freezing!" She called out. "Follow me there and we'll talk." After seeing that her clarification had settled the anxious Elliot, she continued to her car.

"Hey Liv!"

"What?" Reaching for the door handle, she stopped her arm in mid-air and looked up.

"You really think I'm handsome?" He gave a playful grin, waiting for an answer. Olivia just rolled her eyes and slid into her car, but not before Elliot caught a glimpse of her slightly reddened face.

--XXX--

"I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, we can't be together! I didn't even think about everything." As the two detectives sat in a lonely both in the corner of the almost completely vacant 50's style diner, Olivia was only now considering the problems of a relationship between the two of them. Before, her thoughts had been on whether or not she even wanted more than a friendship, not what would happen if they did start something. After what happened in front of the station house, God knows she wanted more than a friendship now.

Elliot sat across from her, studying her face as she rambled and he remained quiet. He couldn't help but feel the smallest hint of a smile curl his lips as Olivia started vocalizing all the doubts and concerns he'd thought of when he realized that he loved her. They were so similar in some ways and yet completely different in others, a quality in their relationship that attracted him in the first place. He heard what she was saying, but he couldn't bring himself to take her remarks to heart. He may have been slightly in denial, but he was just so deliriously happy that she felt the same way that not much else could affect his mood.

"Anyone ever tell you that you look cute when you're flustered?" He wondered honestly, gazing at her. A slightly embarrassed and somewhat flattered smile started to creep on her face, but she ignored it and starting talking again.

"I mean, what about Cragen and IAB? You know it's against policy for coworkers to be together. If anyone found out they'd have to transfer one of us." _And I don't want to lose you as a partner. You've been so wonderful and supportive, I doubt I could ever find that in anyone else._ "What if it didn't work out between us? We couldn't stay partners after that." _Or friends… That would kill me more than anything. You're my best friend. _"And you just separated from Kathy." _And I know that no matter what you feel for me, a part of you will always love her._ "And-"

Suddenly, Elliot eyed up the basket of dinner rolls sitting on the table between the two of them. Before Olivia could finish her sentence, he grabbed one and leaned towards her, wedging it part way into her open mouth and silencing her chattering.

Taken aback by his actions, she sat there for a second, fairly confused. Elliot just crossed his arms on top of the table and flashed an amused, boyish grin at her, a devilish twinkling in his eyes. Recovering from her initial shock, Olivia sent a glare at Elliot as she pulled the biscuit out of her mouth and tossed it back on the table.

"What was that?" She asked aggravated, clucking her tongue like a disapproving mother as she rested her arms against the edge of the table and leaned forward.

"_That,_" he kept his grin and leaned forward as well, "was my subtle way of pointing out that you talk too much."

Her mouth fell slack for a moment and incredulity flashed on her face as she sat straight up. "Elliot, this is serious! I'm talking about _us_ here!"

"Olivia, you get stuck in cop mode too much." He informed her amusedly, having to tilt his chin up to meet Olivia's eyes.

"Meaning?" She knowingly took the bait, uncertain if she wanted to hear this.

"Meaning you over-analyze everything." Elliot watched as the most microscope ounce of hurt flickered on her face. "Liv…" He unfolded his arms and placed his hands on top of Olivia's, sliding his fingers underneath her palms so that he was holding her hands. He pulled their clasped hands closer towards him, drawing her forward from her stiff position. Resting his elbows against the table, Elliot locked his eyes onto Olivia's. "Liv, I can't remember the last time you've followed or even _cared_ about IAB policy, why's this different?"

Olivia's gaze swept over Elliot's face as she deliberated over his question. The answer didn't take long to reach her. "Because," she whispered tenderly, turning her stare downwards. When she brought her head back up, her the corner of her eyes were glittering. "You've been my partner and best friend for as long as I've been in SVU. I could never find anyone that came even close to you, and I don't want to risk losing that."

Just as Elliot was about to answer, they heard the static of a radio turning on. Their heads immediately turned to the source of the noise, somewhere behind the swinging kitchen doors behind the bar. Music wafted through the small building as a song started playing.

"We call them cool  
Those hearts that have no scars to show  
The ones that never do let go  
And risk the tables being turned

"We call them fools  
Who have to dance within the flame  
Who chance the sorrow and the shame  
That always comes with getting burned

"But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire  
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

"We call them strong  
Those who can face this world alone  
Who seem to get by on their own  
Those who will never take the fall

"We call them weak  
Who are unable to resist  
The slightest chance love might exist  
And for that forsake it all

"They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire  
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire  
Standing outside the fire

"Standing outside the fire  
Life is not tried, it is merely survived  
If you're standing outside the fire

"There's this love that is burning  
Deep in my soul  
Constantly yearning to get out of control  
Wanting to fly higher and higher  
I can't abide  
Standing outside the fire."

As the song ended, Elliot turned back to Olivia, her hands still clasped in his. "Olivia, I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. It's something amazing, powerful… and beautiful." He glanced down at their entwined fingers, delicately firming his grip before looking back up. "Being with you, it's worth any risk to me. So IAB finds out? Even if what we have only lasted a second, at least I'd be able to look back and say that, for a moment, we were so in love that we didn't care about the repercussions or what anyone thought. That we just did what _we_ felt, what we wanted."

Elliot's sudden speech rendered Olivia silent as she heard each beautifully worded sentence replay in her mind. _He is so right, so _totally_ and _completely_ right._

"I haven't ever brought rules and regulations into my choices, so why should I start now?" She smiled blissfully. "So screw IAB. Elliot, I want to be with you too."


	8. Where Did I Go Right? How Did I Get You?

Thanks so much for reviewing! **LuckyDucky20-**I love findinglyrics that perfectly fit a situation or moment! Okay, shirtless Elliot. I'll keep that in mind. **nem-**The song was Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks. I like country, yeah, and I'm used to other people not liking it so much. When I tell my friends I like country they act like I just told them I worship the devil or something. ;) But I like _all_ types of music, so it evens out.

This chapter sort of leaves off in a strange place. I just had a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote this whole thing today, so I wanted to get this chapter up now. I _will_ completely cure my writer's block. I'll find a way... -I hope- ;)

**Where Did I Go Right? How Did I Get You?**

Olivia glanced into the mirror, thoughtlessly fixing her hair in its normal position and noticing a cheery smile on her face as couldn't help but pour herself back into her conversation with Elliot last night. They had talked late into the night, only pulling themselves away from their discussion when it got to be around one in the morning. After the good-byes, they'd parted with an innocent hug and went to their separate cars. She and Elliot both agreed to take things slowly, taking into consideration everything that had brought them to this point.

_And nothing else really matters,_ she grinned again, _because I'm with Elliot._ She repeated those last three words over and over in her head until she feel asleep last night, convincing herself that it wasn't just some dream too good to be true.

As she grabbed her navy blue blouse from the hanger on the back of the bathroom door, she heard a knock at her front door. Olivia frowned and wiggled her right arm through her blouse sleeve so that she could clearly see her wristwatch. Almost eight. Who would be at her door this early? She cautiously remained silent as she began buttoning her shirt and weaving through her living room to get to the door.

"Who is it?" She stood in front of the doorway, finishing with the last button on her shirt and tucking the tails into her black slacks.

"Me." Even with a simple response as that, Olivia recognized it immediately. Feeling a delighted smile come back to her lips, she abruptly began fiddling with the locks until she was finally able to open it.

"Hey Me," she grinned, coming face to face with Elliot as she leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed. He was in his normal attire, a suit and tie, but Olivia thought he never looked better, except for the clear exhaustion written all over his face. "You look tired. Didn't get much sleep last night?" She leaned forward and grabbed one of his hands in hers, dragging him into her apartment and closing the door behind them with her free one.

Elliot smiled and pulled their adjoined hands behind his head, drawing Olivia dangerously close to him. He held their hands between them, watching as he flexed his fingers between Olivia's, then wrapping them back around her fist as he stared into her eyes. "Up all night thinking about you," he grinned, winding his free arm around her waist and pulling her body against his. Letting his hand release Olivia's, he did the same with his other arm, resting his palms against the small of her back as he lost himself in her eyes.

Olivia felt like butter in his gentle arms and under his loving gaze. He swept her off her feet with his words, he astonished her with his benevolent actions, and he reduced her to a mere puddle of emotions just by letting his eyes speak for him. Elliot was everything she ever wanted in a man, and never thought she'd be able to find, or deserve to keep if she did.

As she remained hushed, Elliot noticed tears starting to gather at the corner of her eyes. "Liv, what's wrong?" He worriedly slid his right hand up to cup the side of Olivia's cheek. "You're crying." His thumb reached out to wipe the unshed moisture away.

"Nothing," Olivia's skin glowed as a smile beamed across her face. "Everything's perfect." She enfolded her arms around Elliot's waist and brought them even closer as she whispered into his ear. "Absolutely, wonderfully perfect."

--XXX--

While Olivia was glancing through the crime scene photos of the Perry case, she couldn't stop her vision from moving to Elliot between every other picture. She hadn't counted on keeping their feelings out of the office such impossible work. But she couldn't help it. He was just so damn irresistible sometimes. _Okay, all the time._

"Do you want something or are you just staring at my pretty face?" He glanced over from his computer, a knowing grin curling the corners of his mouth.

"Your pretty face," she chuckled, sitting her elbow on the desk and placing her chin in her palm as she continued staring with a smile.

"How many of you damn cops are gonna pull me in here 'til ya realize I didn't do nothing!" The two detectives shot their gaze to the squad room doors as they heard a familiar voice.

"A ski mask and black leather coat we found in your closet paint a different picture there Greg." Fin's voice came next, sounding closer.

"Smart perps get rid of the evidence, not hide it in their room." As Munch's voice trailed around the corner, the three men came into view. Fin was shoving the cuffed perp forward as Munch walked behind them. The guy was none other than Greg Reid, the kid that Olivia and Elliot had liked for the MacGuire case. Also the kid who's neck Olivia had almost snapped after he grabbed her.

Reid angrily scanned his eyes over the room, familiarizing himself with the room again. He'd only looked past half of it when his glance settled on Olivia. Within seconds his eyes widened as recalled what happened in the interrogation room. Olivia just locked eyes with him, revealing only a blank expression as she refused to bat an eye.

"Okay! Okay!" Reid drew away from her, almost strong enough to take Fin with him as he shrunk back. "I'll tell ya whatever ya want! Jus' don't let that crazy bitch near me!"

"You better shut your punk ass up 'fore I do it for ya," Fin growled, leading Reid into a wall before yanking him down a hallway. They could still hear Reid yelling long after he'd disappeared.

"Did I miss something?" John glanced between Olivia and Elliot with a puzzled expression. Elliot bit his lip and turned towards Olivia, who seemed only slightly unsettled by the whole scene. "You must have really beat the crap out of him. Not even Fin could get him to bat an eye."

"I didn't beat him up," Olivia denied with a slight blush at John's half-sarcastic smile. She nervously clasped her hands together in her lap and averted her eyes from his stare.

"You really did? That was just a joke," he laughed, amused by her shying away from the topic. Always the observant one, Elliot saw Olivia's uneasiness and jumped to her rescue.

"How's the case going?" After Olivia had been taken off the MacGuire case, Elliot excused himself as well, leaving John and Fin to handle it. They'd kept it completely to themselves, due to a slight urge from the Captain.

"We're gonna see if we can't get Greg there to crack under pressure." He pointed a thumb behind his shoulder. "Of course, we could always just threaten to bring Liv in. Then he'd probably admit to being Osama Bin Laden if we asked."

Olivia bit her tongue as an annoyed, slightly abashed expression crossed her face. "Ha ha," she mused sarcastically, folding her arms in a standoffish glare. John just flashed a mischievous grin before leaving the squad room as well.

"On that note," Elliot cleared his throat and leaned forward in his chair to grab a folder from his desk. "Where are we on the Perry case?" Leaning back into the aged chair, it let out a moaning squeak as he began to flip through one paper after another in the file.

"Um," Olivia propped an elbow up on the desk and started twirling around a pen in that hand as she shuffled through the photos on her desk with her free one. "Husband said that he got back early from a business trip that was supposed to end the following day when he found her. The company confirmed it."

"That he had a business trip or that he was there?"

"Both. CSU also said they found Chinese take-out containers in the kitchen and the table was set for two." Olivia aimlessly tapped was one the pictures with a pen as she tried to find anything out of the ordinary that she hadn't seen before.

"So you think she had a date or something while the husband was gone?" Elliot's eyebrows furrowed as he leaned over their desk to reach for the photo of the dining room. His arm had barely made it half-way before a spasm of numbing pain shot from the back of his shoulder to his elbow, forcing a muffled cry from him as his face winced.

"What's wrong?" Olivia noticed his reaction and searched his face for a response.

"My shoulder," he groaned, delicately leaning back as he reached his left arm across his chest to rub the pain away.

"Like you pulled a muscle or something?" She pushed herself up from her chair and began walking towards him.

"More like I was handcuffed to a staircase, or something," he added with a small grin as he looked to see Olivia's reaction.

"Let's hope I never really arrest you then," she smiled, setting her palm against the edge of the desk as she leaned forward. "Turn around," she slightly motioned with her head.

"What?" He raised a doubtful eyebrow, recalling the last time he'd turned his back to her.

"Turn around," she repeated, making a circle in the air with her finger as her face slowly lost patience.

"Why?" He tried to hide his grin, knowing full well that he was agitating her.

She sighed and bit the side of her lip. "'Cause I said so." She leaned forward and grabbed the arm of Elliot's chair. Giving it a good shove, she spun him around so that she was now staring at the back of his head. "Sit up," she ordered as Elliot obeyed.

Once he was sitting straight in the chair, Olivia reached out and grabbed his shoulders, right next to his neck. Carefully applying and releasing pressure to her fingers, she began massaging his neck. She slowly moved outwards on either shoulder, not missing a spot as she worked the tension from his muscles.

"Wow," Elliot remarked softly, impressed by her skills as he felt himself relax under her touch. He closed his eyes and let himself completely soak in the tranquillity of the moment. "I didn't know you were so good at massages."

As Olivia's hands slid from his shoulders to work on his back, she leaned in closer, bringing her face a few inches from the side of his head. "There's a lot of little things you don't know about me Elliot Stabler," she whispered flirtatiously with a smile.

Her breath against his skin snapped Elliot's eyes open. He turned his head to the side so he was facing Olivia with his own big grin. "Oh yeah?" He challenged in the same tone as his eyes twinkled. "Like what?"

"Well…" Just as she was about to answer, the phone on Olivia's desk let out an obnoxiously shrill ring, slicing through the moment as both detectives turned towards the source of the noise.

"Damn phone," Elliot cursed under his breath as Olivia pulled away from him to go answer it.

"Relax El," she laughed, letting her hand linger against his skin until she was too far away for her arm to cut the distance. "Benson, SVU," she answered and flashed another teasing grin at Elliot, making his heart silently skip a beat. "Could you fax that date over?" She asked after a minute of listening to the other end. "Okay? Thanks." Olivia lowered the phone from her ear and placed it back against the receiver.

"Who was it?" He turned his chair in a semicircle as his vision followed Olivia over to the fax machine at the side of the room.

"Guys down at the tech lab." The machine suddenly sputtered to life, letting off a series of beeps as it starting feeding a sheet of paper through the printer. "They found a calendar on Karissa Perry's work laptop."

"Anything on the day she was attacked?" Elliot asked just the machine spit the final product into the tray. Picking it up, a satisfied look settled on Olivia's face.

"Yep." She crossed the room and handed the fax to Elliot. "Look's like she had a date."

"'Dinner with Billy – 8:00,'" Elliot read the only note under the day of Karissa's attack.

"Maybe Billy'll know something about that night," she suggested, taking the piece of paper back and searching the other dates for any relevant information.

"One problem," Elliot pointed out, looking up at Olivia.

"What?" She met his doubtful stare.

"How do you propose we find 'Billy'?"

"Look through her address book, call around," she shrugged indifferently.

--XXX--

"How many Billys did you say were in her address book?" Elliot asked for the second time, the incredulity still in his voice as he and Olivia followed the lab tech to the room where Karissa's computer was set up.

"Only seven Billys, but also three Bills, six Williams, and a few other variations of the name." The lab tech handed him a booklet size stack of papers.

"Meticulous," Olivia remarked, skimming through some of the ones on top that she'd grabbed from Elliot. "Phone numbers, addresses, fax numbers, cell phone numbers…"

"You want to start calling?" Elliot gave his partner a look of skepticism as he held the stack of papers up, pointing out the tedious task ahead of them.


	9. Why, Life Itself Is Not More Precious!

Hey! Thanks to the few of you who reviewed! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! My phone line was shut off for the past few days. That, and my writer's block sort of morphed into a brick, which grew into a wall, that multiplied into a building, and so on and so forth… But, I think I am completely over it! (We can only hope. ;) So I decided to make this a Munch chapter, because I know a bunch of you love him. I hope you like it!

**A True Friend - Why, Life Itself Is Not More Precious!**

"Yeah, well you have a good day too, sir!" Olivia held the earpiece away from her as she yelled into the phone. Grumbling to herself in frustration, she slammed the phone back on the receiver.

"Another gracious 'Billy'?" Elliot smiled, softening her anger. They'd been calling people all afternoon with absolutely no luck.

"How many have blown us off so far?" She crossed her arms on top of the desk and let her head fall into them, letting out a submissive sigh.

"Um…" He picked up the list of names they had gone through so far, trying not to laugh at his partner. "Six."

"Make it seven," her muffled voice drifted over. Lifting her head up only far enough to look at Elliot, she sighed. "Who's bright idea was this again?"

"Yours," he reminded her with a grin.

"Right." She shut her eyes and wearily ran her fingers over her forehead and through her light brunette hair. "Next time I have one of those, stop me."

"I'd have better luck stopping a train with a pillow," he chucked at Olivia's sarcastic smile, reaching his arm over the desk. "Go in the crib and take a nap," he offered affectionately. "I'll finish these," he held up the papers marked with the names of the few people she had left to call.

"Are you gonna start doing all my paperwork too?" There was only an air of a grin on her face, causing Elliot to wonder if she was serious or merely joking.

"Maybe…" He raised his eyebrow, waiting for a better precursor.

"So I got you _and_ a secretary in the deal. Definite perk," she grinned, stretching over the desk and snatching back the papers. "But I'm fine."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged and glanced back at his desk, fighting the curl of the corner of his lips. Just as they began working again, a voice interrupted them and brought their attention to the doorway behind Elliot.

"Quite painless really. They're just going to draw some blood, collect some of your hairs for DNA," Munch's voiced drifted into the room, followed by the detective, his partner, and Reid, still in cuffs.

"Hairs? Like from my head?" He motioned upwards with a laugh, tossing his locks of dirty blonde hair around like that was nothing.

"Other one," John corrected him, motioning towards the ground with his eyes for a split second. Reid's forehead scrunched up in confusion as he followed John's stare downward.

"What?" He glanced back to Munch and tried to read his face, meeting with only an obvious glare. "What!" He snapped completely straight as it quickly hit him. "You're gonna pull my hairs out there! That's disgusting!"

"Got a news flash for ya," Fin barked, intimidating the teenager as he moved his face close down to his. "So is rape and attempted murder. Both of which you gonna go down for once we match you to the DNA we found at the crime scene!" Just as the group was disappearing out the door, Elliot caught John.

"So John!" He lowered his voice when he saw that he had his colleague's attention. "You got a warrant for a DNA sample?"

"Yeah," he nodded apathetically. "Guess I can pull myself away from my government theories long enough to do _something_ right," he spoke with fake enthusiasm before popping back out the door.

"Right…" Elliot quietly clucked his tongue and bit the inside of his cheek as an irked sigh escaped him. Olivia just watched all of this like a bystander, only speaking after a minute of tension.

"You haven't apologized to him," she blurted somewhat accusingly.

"_I_ haven't apologized?" He repeated to clarify, appearing offended by the thought that it was his responsibility.

"Apparently not," she crossed her arms and sent an all-knowing look at Elliot.

"You don't even know what we were talking about." He flashed a grin, trying to throw her off the topic.

"You weren't talking." Olivia dubiously raised an eyebrow. "You were yelling. I may not have heard what went on," she forfeited, "but I know that you two have a way of knowing exactly what to say to push the other's buttons." She paused before softly adding something. "And to hurt them."

"You wanna talk about hurt?" He attempted to talk himself out of his corner. "He's the one that attacked me and broke my nose for no reason!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished that he could shove them back in. Olivia silently drew in a breath, taking Elliot's sentence like salt in a wound. She still felt remorse for confusing her attacker with Elliot and everything that had happened as an after-effect of that, including when John had beat him up in the hospital.

"But he apologized," she whispered, repressing her emotions long enough to continue. "_John_ apologized. He knew he was wrong and he tried to make it right. He respected you and your friendship enough to do that. Don't you think he deserves the same respect?" Olivia paused another moment, allowing her words to cut to the bone with their full intent and meaning. "Besides, words can hurt just as much as anything else."

--XXX--

"Hey John." Elliot carefully rose from his chair as he headed towards the wall of filing cabinets in the squad room, feeling Olivia's eyes follow him. She was so amazing at times. Everything she'd said about John was incredibly accurate. He did owe him the respect of at least trying to make amends.

"What." It was more a cold, emotionless habit than a question as he thumbed through some papers and folders in one of the top filing cabinet drawers.

"It's just, about what I said a few days ago…" He nervously brought his hand up to the back of his neck and began itching his skin.

"You mean about the fact that I've been married and divorced four times?" He slammed the squeaky drawer shut and whipped around to face Elliot, anger starting to cover his face. "Or that they were all my fault? Or maybe the fact that I spend all my time on my ridiculous conspiracy theories? What about it? Something you forgot to mention? Some other area of my life that's a complete failure because of me?" John snapped and turned back to the filing cabinet, yanking the closet drawer with such a force that it almost pulled the whole unit forward as it jerked out.

"No! I mean, yes. No…" Elliot tried to figure out which question he was answering as his eyes nervously darted around for something to focus on. "That's what I was talking about, but that's not why I brought it up." He shook his head and lowered his hand from his neck and to his rolled-up cuffs, resting just below his elbow. Fiddling with the button, he finally managed to meet John's legitimate rage. "I wanted to apologize." John cautiously glanced up in hidden confusion, like he was waiting for this to be some big joke. Instead of answering, he let Elliot continue.

"All that stuff I said," Elliot found himself subconsciously shaking his head, "I didn't mean it. I was just upset and taking it out on you, which I shouldn't have done. I just was trying to get you to leave me alone, but I had no right to bring up your personal life. It's none of my business and I'm sorry." Once he had finished, he sucked in a huge breath, awaiting some response.

Just as awkwardly, John found his voice as well. "I guess I'm sorry too…" His voice was quiet as he carelessly shuffled his foot back and forth across the floor in small movements.

"So…" Elliot met his eyes and gave him a hopeful gaze as he shrugged his shoulders. "We okay?" He extended his hand as a peace offering.

"Yeah," John brushed it off and excepted Elliot's hand in his own.

"El!" A stressed whispered hissed from across the room, drawing both their attentions. Olivia was cradling her phone between her head and her ear, a pad of paper on her desk and a pen in her hand as she motioned for him. Obeying, he strolled across the floor until he was standing next to his partner. "Okay, so tomorrow at eleven then? All right, thanks." She skillfully maneuvered the tablet and pen into one hand while she set the phone back onto its receiver.

"Who was that?" Elliot leaned over her shoulder and turned his head to read what she'd written down. It looked like an address.

"Dr. William Aultz." She pushed off of the floor with her foot, turning her chair around to face Elliot. "Well, his secretary," she corrected herself and handed a sheet of paper to him.

"He was in Karissa's address book?" Elliot recognized the printout.

"Yeah. I couldn't get his cell phone or home phone, so I tried his work number. He has his own private plastic surgery practice and office building. Anyway, I got his secretary and I asked her if she knew where William was the night Karissa was attacked." Olivia professionally crossed one leg over the other as she started tapping the end of the pen against her lap. "She said that he had an appointment with a patient at eight."

"So he has an alibi? Then why are you suspecting him?"

Olivia glanced up with a small grin, way ahead of him. "Because he canceled it at the last minute and rushed out of the office."

--XXX--

"You find any priors on him?" Olivia inquired as Elliot sauntered into the squad room, occupied by herself, Munch, and a few other detectives.

"Just some parking tickets and moving violations, nothing serious. Anything on your end?" He passed off the folder to her and she, in turn, tossed it onto her desk and took Elliot's word for it.

"Only that any thoughts I ever had of considering plastic surgery are completely gone." She tapped a few keys on her computer keyboard, slightly wincing at the screen as she did so, like someone watching a gory horror movie. "I was just doing some research. Do you know what they do to give someone a face lift?" She pointed at the screen and stared over the desk to lock eyes with Elliot.

He just nodded with agreeable disgust. "Kathleen and Dickie were watching TV once and she put on one of those plastic surgery specials. A few seconds later Dickie came running into my room screaming that someone was ripping a woman's face off."

"Who needs Freddy and Jason when you have cable TV?" Olivia joked, getting a laugh from Elliot.

Becoming serious again, the detectives threw themselves back into their work and dug up whatever public records on Aultz that they could, getting a feel for the guy before they talked to him. Olivia was just about to call it quits and go home when a scraping noise caught her attention. She looked up to see Munch pushing back his chair as he got to his feet.

In the entire time they'd been working, she hadn't heard a thing from John. Normally, it would have been a welcome oddity, but it stirred up a strange feeling in Olivia as her eyes discreetly followed him. In the split second that she was able to see his face, her hunch felt vindicated.

There was a strange look on his face, that of misery and, in a way, depression. Olivia was absolutely certain that something was off with him as she watched the detective silently head in the direction of the staircase that lead to the roof. Whenever something was bothering John and he wanted to be alone, that was where you would find him.

"I'm gonna go get some air." Olivia suddenly broke the silence in the squad room as she rose to her feet, offering an explanation before she was asked for one.

"Okay." Elliot answered impassively, though he watched from the corner of his eye as she walked over to the coat rack, noticing as she grabbed not only her jacket, but also John's.

Olivia didn't even feel his stare on her as she threw her jacket on and wrapped John's around her arm. She was too preoccupied with her solicitude to focus on much else. John might as well have been her savior after she was attacked. Though she could probably never fully repay him for that, she could try and be there for him.

Pushing the heavy metal door leading to the roof forward, Olivia was met with a slap of cold air. She pulled her coat tighter around her body and stepped up onto the concrete. Night had long since fallen in a blanket of darkness on the city, leaving the street lamps and glowing lights from building windows to twinkle for miles.

It took her only a minute to find John standing on the very edge, propped again the waist-high brick wall circling the roof. He was staring straight ahead into the sky, though the expression in his eyes said that he didn't come up here for the view. His own bubble of thoughts enshrouded his every sense, Olivia's footsteps not even producing the smallest reaction from him. She was only a few feet away when she noticed the cold air was causing his body to involuntarily shudder. Silently, she unfolded his jacket from her arm and draped it over his shoulders, the material almost long enough to touch his knees.

"Liv?" He barely whispered in surprise as he finally realized Olivia's presence and turned to meet her gaze. His aged face seemed worn in despondency and affliction, distress covering his brown eyes.

"Hey John." She offered a quick smile and overlapped her arms in defense against the wind as she stepped beside him, still keeping her eyes on his.

"What are you doing up here?" His voice was gentle, mixed with a subtle accusation that suggested he wanted to be alone more than anything.

"I saw you leave, I was worried about you." Olivia shrugged as her eyes filled up with genuine concern.

"I'm fine," he informed her with no emotion, resuming his position against the wall and breaking their gazes.

"John," Olivia matched his stance and set her elbows on the concrete with her arms still folded, but refusing to look away from his face. "You never come up here when you're fine. Something's bothering you." At her repeated allegation, he sighed and turned his head towards the right, completely removing his face from Olivia's vision. "John, talk to me." She untangled her arms and slipped her right hand on his shoulder, over the material of his coat.

The combination of pleading in her voice and her gesture seemed to finally break through to John. He sighed and faced forward again, still not completely meeting her stare. "It's about what Elliot said, about all my marriages ending in divorce," he paused in hesitance a moment before softly adding something. "And how they were all my fault."

"You know Elliot didn't mean that. No one really thinks they were your fault." Even while she tried to console him, he was shaking his head in contradiction.

"That's just it Liv. _I do._ _I_ think they were. I know he didn't mean it, but what if Elliot was actually just telling me the truth? What if me and all my conspiracy theories are to blame? What if I am responsible for my marriages failing?" John's voice began quivering, sounding seconds from completely giving way.

"No. John…" Olivia bit her bottom lip and slightly shook her head in denial of his thoughts. Finding herself at a temporary loss for words, she reached both her arms out to snake them around John's left one, directly between his shoulder and elbow. Hugging him close to her, she found the words to explain. "Yes, so you spend a lot of time with your ridiculous ideas and theories," she made a careful attempt at a joke, not receiving any acknowledgment from John. "But that's part of you. Part of what makes you…" She trailed off, trying to find the right thing to say.

"Cynical? Pathetic? A horrible husband? A failure at life in general?" He bitterly finished her sentence for her.

"No!" She forcefully insisted and pulled him even closer towards her, like she was trying to guard him against his own thoughts. "It's part of what makes you the Munch everyone knows. John, you're amazing because of everything you are, including your occasionally eccentric behavior. If a woman can't see that and appreciate it for what it is, then she's not someone you should spend your life with anyway." Olivia paused momentarily to catch her breath. "If she can't accept you 'as-is,' she doesn't deserve you at all." John still wouldn't look directly at her, but Olivia didn't need him to face her to see the tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. "You deserve to be with a person that loves you for your quirks."

Despite his tears, a dry, sardonic laugh escaped him at her last statement. "Please. I've _so_ given up on love," he scoffed in a forlorn tone.

"You can't just give up," Olivia insisted, refusing to believe that he was telling her the truth.

"I can and I have," he snapped. "Besides," his voice suddenly softened into a low moan, "who would love me?"

A smile spread across Olivia's face in spite of the own tears quivering in her eyes. "John, look at me," she quietly ordered. When he didn't, she merely repeated herself. "John, look at me." Unwrapping one of her arms from his, she reached up with her free hand and grabbed his chin. Gently, she turned his stubborn head until he was finally facing her. A smile still on her face, Olivia answered his question. "_I_ love you, John," she whispered as they both locked tearful eyes. "And I always will. Never forget that." Her eyes searched his for a moment before she threw herself into his arms, tightly hugging him in absolute reassurance.

"I love you too, Liv," John spoke almost inaudibly, still slightly dazed as he allowed the tears to finally flow down his cheeks.

--XXX--

Just a note - Not romantic love, like friendship love. No love triangles in this story. (Sorry any OJ shippers.)


	10. There's No Help In Truth

**Note-**Yes, I changed the title of the story. I didn't really like the other one. And I also changed the rating, just to be safe.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I am posting this chapter in honor of the premiere of the new season of SVU – Yay! And in celebration of Mariska Hargitay's Emmy nomination for best leading actress in a drama series. Sucks that she didn't win, but we'll get them next year!

Reviewers: **nem**-I didn't answer your review last time, sorry. I was too excited with posting my chapter. Anyway, the kid, Greg Reid, was from Betrayal In The First Degree. Remember, they were interviewing him about Emma's case and he grabbed Olivia and she kind of attacked him? That's what that was all about. **AglaiaWar-**I know, not a lot of fluff, sorry. It's kind of half and half in this chapter. I'll make the next one totally OE. **LuckyDucky20**-I think I see a shirtless Elliot coming up in your future… (Next chapter, I promise ;) **Lizzie9-**Thanks for all the great reviews! I love them!

**Disclaimers-**1)The ideas and theories of Dr. William Aultz are **not** those of my own. (Seriously, if he wasn't just some ficitonal character I made up, I'd shoot him myself.) 2)I just made up the stuff about Elliot's family. Ignore it if it's totally wrong.

**How Dreadful Knowledge of The Truth Can Be When There's No Help In Truth**

"So Dr. Aultz, you said you had a date with Karissa Perry last Wednesday?" Olivia casually leaned back in the hard wooden chair as she crossed her legs and began aimlessly flipping through the folder containing all the information they'd gathered on the Perry case.

"Yes, but I told you, that's all I'm saying." William Aultz's hazel eyes calmly glanced the detective over, showing no hint of intimidation. His subtly manicured hands rested against the cold metal table in the middle of the interrogation room, occasionally moving to his head as he ran his fingers through his gelled auburn hair that hung perfectly, just above his ears. The crisp white dress shirt he wore underneath it only intensified the glowing tan on his face, appearing to be the work of a nap in a tanning bed.

Even as Elliot propped himself against the section of the wall directly behind Aultz, he could hear the arrogance in his voice and egotistical nature of his coolness towards Olivia. He crossed his arms and silently observed, wanting to get a better reading on this guy before they dove into the serious questioning tactics.

"Dr. Aultz," Olivia mustered up her most polite smile and sincerest voice as she leaned in towards the table. "We would really appreciate any information that you could give us concerning that night that might help along our investigation."

"You never did tell me," he replied with a smug grin that sent an unnerving chill through Olivia. "What exactly are you investigating?"

Already becoming tired of the man's antics, Elliot stood over him and lowered his head down over Aultz's shoulder to the point that his chin was almost resting on it. "That's official police business," he hissed into the man's ear. "So why don't you just let us ask the questions?" He domineeringly pulled his head back a few inches and waited for a reply.

Aultz just gracefully turned to face him, the smug grin never fleeing from his lips. "All right. You can ask me all the questions you want, but don't be so assured I'll answer them," he retorted, meeting Elliot's stare with his own. Elliot broke their glares and turned to Olivia after a minute, giving her a shrug with his eyes and indicating for her to try and get him to talk.

"Okay, let's start with where you two met." Olivia slipped into habit and began tapping her pencil against the notepad on the table in front of her.

"Let's not." He turned his head to the side with a demeaning look in his eyes as he began to use his own intimidation tactics to try and belittle Olivia. She, however, wasn't having any of it.

"Well, since you seem to be a little less than forth-coming," she shot his own glare back at him, "how about I tell you what we know and see if you can't help me fill anything in?" She spoke like she was talking to an incompetent inferior of hers, seeming to agitate the placid doctor.

"Feel free." He turned his palms up and swept them to the side, trying to redeem his poise.

"Eight o'clock last Wednesday," she began, referring to her notepad. "You had an appointment, but canceled it at the last minute. Coincidentally enough, Karissa also had a date in her appointment book for dinner with someone named 'Billy' at the same time. Now, we couldn't tie you to her before, but since you so willingly offered up that bit of info," her eyes flashed in spite as she wiped the smug look of his face and started to gain one on hers, "we can now put you two together. Anyway, after you rushed out of the office, you headed over to Karissa's apartment. About eight-twenty, the Chinese takeout you two ordered arrived. But see, that's where things start to get blurry."

"Well, not too blurry." Elliot yanked the third, unoccupied chair out from under the table and spun it around so that the back was against the table. He spread his legs out and straddled the seat as he sat down. "You and Karissa eat, start talking, all the normal stuff…" He faded out, letting Olivia finish.

"Then you-"

"All right! All right." He interrupted Olivia and held up his hand to silence her. "I'll answer your questions if you just stop with this circus." Aultz uncomfortably adjusted the collar and shifted around in his chair.

"Why didn't you answer our questions to begin with Willy?" Olivia started, not moving from her position as she slightly taunted him with the nickname.

"Because I shouldn't have been at Karissa's in the first place." Aultz sighed unemotionally and unbuttoned one of his cuff links. He started talking as he began rolling his sleeve up. "I've been dating this other girl for a year now, Karissa was a…" Slightly throwing his hands up, he searched the room for the right word.

"Booty call?" Elliot answered for him, crossing his arms against the back of the chair. The corner of William's lip turned up in a smirk as he turned and faced Elliot's scrutinizing stare.

He shrugged, seeming to be relishing every moment of this interview. "If that's what they're calling it these days."

"Actually, these days they call it rape." Olivia picked up her pencil and twirled it between both of her hands.

"Rape?" Olivia felt a small wave of nausea pass over her as his smirk widened into a huge smile. "Ah…" His face obtained a look of understanding as he nodded. "So that's what you're investigating, a rape?"

"Tell the man what he's won," Olivia remarked, glaring at him as she moved forward and rested her elbows against the table.

"Oh, that's not necessary," he waved her comment off. "But, you can tell me what's going on that you so desperately need me for." Aultz stared into her eyes in an almost flirtatious manner.

"Only thing we need you for is a DNA sample," she shot right back, never missing a beat. "Though, our ADA may be willing to cut you a deal if you just confess now."

"Look little lady-"

"Detective Benson," she interrupted him. "It's Detective Benson," she pointed to herself, "and Detective Stabler," she pointed to Elliot. "Or sir and ma'am," she shrugged indifferently, knowing just what to say to aggravate him. "Your choice."

"Detective Benson," he slightly mocked her, "just what is it you're accusing me of?"

Olivia studied him for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell him. "Rape and attempted murder."

Her allegations didn't appear to daunt the man as he sat back in his chair, searching her face for a moment. "Let me make this clear," he started, pointing a finger at her. "I have never attempted to murder anyone and well, putting aside the fact that rape is a completely preposterous concept in the first place, I've never done that either."

"Then tell us what happened at Karissa Perry's apartment!" Elliot found his voice escalating as he suddenly jumped in. "Because if you don't, DNA and fingerprints will."

For the first time since Aultz had been brought in, he finally seemed to take a threat seriously, crossing his eyes at the detective. "All right. Since this station seems to be full of bumbling imbeciles, I suppose I'll have to tell you everything."

"Why don't you start with after you went into Karissa's apartment," Elliot suggested with the hint of a smile on his face as he stared at Aultz.

"Fine. As you know, we had a date set up. I showed up and she invited me in. We began eating and talking, then things started heating up. We started kissing and enjoying each other. Then we had sex. Once I was finished, I started to leave when suddenly Karissa attacked me for no reason. She began clawing at me and screaming."

"She attacked you for absolutely no reason?" Elliot raised a doubtful eyebrow. "Now why would she do that?"

"I don't know," he shrugged emotionlessly. "Maybe she didn't like it, maybe she had regrets. Her actions are not mine to figure out. Anyway, I had to defend myself somehow. So I picked up the closest thing I could reach, a vase. It happened to be behind her though, so when I brought it up to hit her, it hit the back of her head. She instantly passed out and fell to the floor. Just as I was about to check on her, I heard the front door open and her husband start to call for her. So I ran and jumped out the closest window, got into my car, and drove home."

"You just knocked a woman unconscious after she attacked you and you just go home?"

"Yes."

"Why did you run away when the husband came home?" Elliot decided to try and find something to trip him up on.

"Because then he would have known that Karissa was having an affair. I decided to spare the troubled girl at least her marriage."

"How generous," he remarked. "Is that also why you didn't press charges?"

"One in the same," Aultz mused. "So as you can plainly see, I never tried to hurt Karissa. It was merely self-defense."

Elliot was stuck. This creep had an answer for everything. Now the skin under Karissa's fingernails, the fact that the blow was to the back of the head, and the semen in her would only go toward proving Aultz's story.

"What did you mean before, when you said the rape was a preposterous concept?" There was curiosity written all over Olivia's face as she leaned forward and referred to the comment he had made earlier.

"It's fairly simple Detective Benson. Rape is completely nonexistent, just a law that some female judge passed to demean the entire basis of equality between genders. Tell me, what do you define rape as?" He propped his elbow against the table and rested his chin in his open palm.

"Any act in which one person forces unwanted sexual acts onto another person against their will." She was quick to answer him, giving the most general definition she could think of.

"There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I'm not sure where to start." He sighed and shook his head in a reproaching fashion. "Just assuming that because of your gender, you probably are more sympathetic to the female 'victims,' as you call them-"

"You know Billy, you really shouldn't assume anything," Olivia interrupted him. "You'll make an ass out of you and me."

"How humorous," he remarked in false amusement. "And how incredibly juvenile. And they say cops are supposed to protect people, what a crock. But, all idiocies set aside, you shouldn't interrupt me if you honestly want to know my opinion." The doctor paused for a moment, Olivia's silence reassuring him that he'd have a quiet audience now. "As I was saying, you probably investigate hundreds of women's 'rapes,'" he actually made quotations in the air with his two fingers as he said the last word. "The cold hard truth is, though, that no woman is ever raped. Well, not by your terminology at the least. You claim that it includes 'unwanted sex acts,' and that was your slip-up. When in fact, no sex acts are ever unwanted by a woman."

He hesitated with a grin as he found the detective in front of him angrily spell-bound by his speech. She tried to hide it, but he could see her face hardening in fury with each word he spoke. "Because you appear slightly confused, I'll elaborate. Humans, by nature, enjoy sex. Whether or not people believe it, it's just an instinctual truth. Over the years though, society has told women that sex is now some big, intimate ordeal only to be shared with your spouse after marriage. It's no longer for reproduction and recreation; it's the ultimate wedding gift, as they commonly refer to it. So women stifle their primal, innate sense to conform, but deep down, that desire is always there. Any sexual act is never truly unwanted. It is thanks to your laws and restrictions that even make it punishable."

"If they're not unwanted, then why do we have millions of women reporting rapes a year?" Olivia slipped her hands in her lap and clasped them together, trying to stop them from shaking as she resisted the urge to lunge across the table and throw her gun into this guy's face.

"As I've said before, women's intents are not mine to question. Maybe she didn't enjoy it, maybe her partner couldn't perform, maybe she couldn't, maybe she wants revenge for some other wrongdoing, and the possibilities are endless from there. And besides, if there actually existed a case in which a woman truly didn't want to have sex with a man, I'm sure she's quite capable of defending herself and escaping from him. After all, what kind of weak, pathetic, shell of a human can't stop them self from being violated like that?"

As he finished, Aultz brought his other elbow on the table. Weaving his fingers together, he laid his arms down against the table, resting his hands only a few inches away from where Olivia sat.

Olivia desperately tried not to show her true emotions as she calmly rose to her feet, her eyes wearily locked onto Aultz's arms. "I think we have everything we need," she announced in an empty voice.

Elliot snapped back into reality by the sound of her voice. He'd been revoltingly engrossed by the doctor's explanation. Looking towards his partner, he was able to immediately see the effect his words had on her.

"Let's go." Olivia waited until Elliot had stood up right behind her before she was even willing to turn her back to the doctor. As she reached for the doorknob to exit, his voice cut through the air again.

"Tell me Miss Benson," William had a pleased grin on his face as they both slowly turned to face him, Olivia's eyes hardened in anger. "If two gauche detectives think that a woman was raped, yet they have absolutely no evidence to prove their outlandish theory, did a crime still take place?" Elliot listened to him, then turned to his partner and waited for her reply.

"Without a doubt," was her cold answer. Without another word, she left the room with Elliot behind her.

"Liv?" As he closed the door behind him, he failed to notice as Olivia sprinted down the hallway, away from the room. "Liv!" Just as Elliot was about to chase after her, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Cragen standing behind the one way, a sullen look on his face as he shook his head. He'd heard the entire thing.

"Elliot, just let her go."

--XXX--

"Olivia?" Elliot pressed the intercom button to Olivia's apartment again and leaned closer as he repeated her name for the second time. "Come on Liv, it's Elliot." He released his finger and moved his ear towards the speaker as he waited for a reply. When the other end was silent, he sighed and shifted the plastic takeout bag in his hand to the opposite one. "I have Chinese," he tried to tempt her, bracing himself against the cold.

After questioning Aultz, she'd immediately left the station, telling Munch and Fin that she was going home because she didn't feel well. But he knew the real truth.

"Look, I know you're up there." A minute passed before he tried again. "Hey Queen of Stubbornness!" He called, using her own description of herself. "I can do this all day and you know it!" That impending threat seemed to work as Elliot heard her buzz him in. An unsure expression settled on his face as he pushed open the door and stepped inside. It was a matter of seconds before he arrived in front of her door, a view he grown accustomed to over the years.

"Liv?" Elliot tried to shrug the coldness off him as he softly knocked on her door and called to her. The Chinese food in his hands felt like it was becoming increasingly heavy with each moment that slowly ticked by. "Liv, please open the door," he decided to plead with her. He knew that what Aultz had said in the interrogation room had gotten under her skin, resurfacing supposedly repressed memories of her attack. And reliving that night wasn't something that he wanted her to have to suffer through on her own. He wanted to be there for her, to give her a shoulder to lean on. Just as he was about to call out for her again, he heard the familiar noise of locks clicking.

"What?" Suddenly Olivia appeared in the doorway wearing crimson red pajama bottoms and a plain white camisole that dipped just below her neck, a clear look of agitation on her face.

"I brought takeout." He held his arm straight up and gave a small smile, showing her the bag like some peace offering.

"I'm not hungry," she shook her head apathetically and turned back around, disappearing into her apartment. Olivia didn't bother closing the door behind her, knowing that Elliot would follow her inside.

Talking to anyone, especially Elliot, was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She just wanted to curl herself into a little ball and shut off the entire world, even if only for a few minutes. Instead, she leaned her right hip up against the back of her couch, crossing her arms and watching Elliot with vexation. The sooner he talked, she reasoned, the sooner he'll go away and leave me alone.

"What do you want Elliot?" Olivia slid one of her folded arms up to her ear and pushed her hair behind it.

"I want to make sure you're okay," he shrugged and gave her a weak answer, moving towards the kitchen table to set the food down.

"I'm fine. Are we done now?" She closed her eyes and began rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

Elliot failed to hear her question as he pushed back a pile of books on the table to make room for the plastic bag. "Olivia, what's this?" Noticing a case folder sticking out from the bottom of the pile on her kitchen table, he turned his head and moved closer to study it. The letters "ENSO" were all he could make out at first. Before Olivia even knew what he was doing, Elliot pulled the folder out and read the name on the flap aloud. "Benson, Olivia." He glanced up at his partner in confusion. "This is your case file." He held it up for her to see.

Olivia guiltily turned her head away, not meeting his stare. "I know," she whispered.

"So why do you have it?" It took him only a minute before he was able to put two and two together. "You wanted to see if there was anything you could have done to stop the guy that attacked you." He read her mind like a book, locking his strict eyes on hers as he tossed the folder back onto the table. "This is about what Aultz said, isn't it?" Olivia just met his implicating stare with dull, emotionless eyes, signaling that he was right. "Olivia, you know this-" He subtly reached his hand out to pull her into an embrace, but she shifted away and interrupted him.

"Don't touch me," she ordered coldly, her eyes turning icy as she continued to back away from Elliot. "And don't you dare tell me that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it!"

"But there wasn't! Why do you have to blame yourself?" He demanded in a pleading voice, walking closer towards Olivia.

"You don't understand…" She released a frustrated scoff and silently clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, looking up to the side to try and dry her eyes.

"So talk to me! Explain it. _Make_ me understand!" Elliot desperately urged her.

"You want me to talk? Fine." Olivia finally crumbled underneath the pressure. Lowering her head to the ground, she shuffled her feet forward and circled to the front of the couch. She let her knees give way beneath her, dropping her onto the far end of the sofa. Elliot observed wordlessly as Olivia drew her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her shins. When she remained silent, Elliot made his way towards her, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. Finally, she started speaking.

"Elliot, you can never understand." Just as he was about to open his mouth and argue, Olivia shook her head and stopped him. "You wanted me to talk, so just listen until I'm done."

Elliot nodded, though Olivia wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were glued to the floor in front of her as she sat completely curled up. Clumsily, she cleared her throat and brought one of her heads up to cup her forehead.

"I know that you think you know how I feel, how all rape victims feel. But the truth is that you have absolutely no idea. It's not your fault, but you can't even begin to imagine what's going on inside my head. This has completely changed my life. I'm just… I'm _so_ tired…" For the first time in awhile, Elliot actually saw it. There were bags under her eyes and she just looked so lifeless, so depleted, like this had robbed her of all her energy. Olivia moved her hand from her forehead and began motioning in the air with it as she began her real confession.

"I hardly ever sleep anymore. Every time I close my eyes it's like I'm flown back to the night I was attacked. Even if I do manage to actually get to sleep, I have nightmares all the time. For the first week I couldn't sleep without waking up screaming.

"I used to be strong and composed, all the time. Now I jump at the slightest noise, the slightest touch. I've become so paranoid; I check all the locks on all the doors and windows almost every time I leave a room. In fact, I can't remember the last time I slept with a window open, like someone is going to jump up five stories and crawl through it." A rueful smile crossed her lips.

"I can't eat, I can't step foot into my bedroom without my gun… I can't even walk down the street without having an anxiety attack. I don't even remember what it's like _not_ to be scared, to be able to trust even the smallest things.

"So yeah," she suddenly shrugged, never meeting Elliot's eye the entire time. "I do blame myself for not being able to stop it. I _do_ feel like I have to carry around that responsibility now. Sure, it was someone else that attacked me, but what does he get out of all of this? Ten years at Rikers and he never has to think about what he did to me ever again. But _me,_ I don't get that luxury. I'm stuck with this the rest of my life.

"So go ahead and tell me that it's not my fault, that I couldn't have stopped it. I already know that. I try to convince myself of it, but all the big speeches in the world can't change what I think, what I _feel._"

As she finished, Elliot just sat with a blank stare, stunned at everything he'd just heard. He had known that this was still affecting her, but not like that. Sure, those were the textbook symptoms of almost every rape victim, but he just assumed Olivia would be different. As strong as she was, as independent and self-sufficient, he didn't think it would have overwhelmed her as much. But he was completely wrong. She was only human after all. He of all people knew that her tough exterior wall was just protection so that she couldn't possibly be hurt by anymore obstacles life threw at her. His mouth gaped open as Elliot searched his brain for something comforting to offer her. He couldn't think of a thing.

When she was finished, Olivia let her vision remained focused on the carpeting in front of her as she waited for a response from Elliot. The seconds seemed to tick by like hours as neither one of them made a sound. When he didn't instantly start up with some big, consoling speech, a lump gathered in Olivia's throat. At first she thought that it was regret for saying all that to Elliot, but then the truth hit her.

She felt vulnerable. She, Olivia Benson, felt vulnerable. For one of the first times in her life, she willingly poured out everything her heart and soul was feeling, to someone that she really cared about. No longer were there any walls or any blockades to shield her true feelings with. Just her raw, uncensored emotions left hanging between them.

"Liv…" Elliot barely managed to choke out her name in a whisper as he slowly stretched his hand towards Olivia so that he wouldn't startle her. His hand hadn't reached halfway there when Olivia turned to the side and fell against his chest, leaning her forehead against his collarbone. Without hesitation, he slid his arms over her elbows and settled them against the middle of her back. "I'm sorry," Elliot suddenly whispered, so soft that he could barely hear himself.

She quietly shifted and turned her face to the left so her ear was against his body. "For what?" Olivia inquired as she gently rested her hand on his chest, right next to her head.

"For insisting that you talk to me." Elliot stared down into her hair, looking over the brown hue speckled by a few tawny strands. He reached one of his hands up and ran it down the back of her head until it settled back to its original position. "It wasn't my place to push you like that."

"El…" He felt her shake her head as much as her situation would allow. "It's all right," she tried to reassure him.

"No, it's not," he reiterated adamantly. "It's not all right." Elliot took a deep breath, forgetting about Olivia until he noticed her moving with the rise of his chest. He carefully assembled his next few sentences, making sure he had exactly what he wanted say planned out. "I don't mean to constantly badger you like that, I just… I don't want you to push me away. And I don't want you to think that you have to go through this on your own, because I'll be there for you every step of the way. No matter what Liv, I'm always here for you."

Olivia didn't speak for a moment. Instead, she braced her hand against the couch and leaned backwards so that she was facing Elliot. A contemplative expression read on her as her eyes professionally scanned back and forth across Elliot's face. After a moment, a smile broke out on her face and she raised her hand. Tracing her fingers across his cheek, she wrapped her palm around the side of his neck, right below his ear. Leaning forward and slightly drawing Elliot towards her at the same time, she closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his. She tantalizingly let them linger for a few seconds before finally pulling back.

Elliot's closed eyes quickly fluttered open as she sat back, a pleased grin spreading on his face. "What was that for?" His palms were now resting on her hips, his arms stretched out as far as they could reach.

"For being you," Olivia flashed her own beautiful smile at him.

"Then I think I should be me more often," he joked, wrapping his arms around her lower back and in the same instance luring her closer to him. Olivia just chuckled, allowing Elliot to pull her as close to him as he wanted. Once there was about a foot of space between them, Elliot slowly stopped as her gaze entranced him. The two just affectionately locked eyes, neither breaking the bond until a strange look settled on Olivia's face. She quickly turned her head to the side and brought a hand in front of her mouth as yawned.

When Elliot chuckled, she turned back around with an inquisitive grin. "What?"

"You're cute when you yawn." Olivia just rolled her eyes, keeping her smile. "What?" Elliot laughed at her reaction. "You are!" He playfully insisted, lowering the leg that he'd been holding on his lap for the past few minutes. "And you look completely exhausted," he raised an eyebrow at her before turning around and grabbing the pillow sitting next to him on the couch. He held it in front of Olivia's face, more than subtly hinting at something.

"Yeah, yeah." She forced a growl and mock animosity as she playfully jerked the pillow out of his grasp. "Mr. I-can-work-with-barely-three-hours-of-sleep-a-night." Olivia unsuccessfully tried to suppress a grin as she mocked him, only making the smile on Elliot's face even wider. "I get it." She tossed the pillow down into his lap and just as she was about to lie down, another yawn escaped her. Olivia just groaned and stretched her legs out behind her as she finally set her head down against the pillow, facing away from Elliot.

Normally, Elliot would have objected to someone sleeping on his lap, but he didn't have the power to contradict the woman he loved, especially when she looked so peaceful and gorgeous as she did then. He merely placed his arm over hers, his palm lying against the back of her hand. She responded by twisting her wrist around and wiggling her fingers in between his until they were completely intertwined.

Just as Elliot started thinking about how she had laid down without any arguing, his thoughts were thrown back in his face. "I'm not tired," Olivia wearily objected, staring straight ahead in the direction of the blank screen on her TV.

"Of course not, because people always yawn when they're wide awake," he concluded sarcastically, bringing his free hand up to curve the hair lying on her cheek behind her ear.

"Don't mock me," she ordered with a laugh, curling her arm closer around Elliot's.

"Okay, if you won't sleep, then what do you propose we do?" He set his other arm on Olivia's pillow, right above her head.

"Talk," she informed him without a second's hesitation.

"I can talk," he shrugged. "What about?"

"You."

"Me?" He asked in clarification as his brow furrowed in confusion. After a minute, a knowing grin spread on his lips. "You're still hung up on my personal life, aren't you?"

"Just a little," he heard the smile in her voice.

"All right," he sighed teasingly. "Fair enough. Let's see…" He chewed on his lip as he thoughtfully wondered where to start. "Well, I grew up here in a small house with my mom and dad. She worked at a little salon just down the street and he worked as a mechanic and occasionally did other small, odd construction jobs." Elliot couldn't help but get lost in his flashback with a smile as he began remembering his childhood. "While they worked I went to school. I was actually pretty smart before I hit sixth grade. Then again, I suppose coloring in the lines isn't all that hard." As he was about to continue, he suddenly felt Olivia's fingers fall slack in his hand. Frowning, he leaned forward so that he could see her face. He had to bite his lip to stifle a laugh as he realized Olivia had quietly fallen asleep during his story.

_And that is exactly why I don't talk about myself more often,_ he thought jokingly as he shook his head. Wrapping his hand back around Olivia's, he gently ran his other one over the contours of her cheek. "Night Liv," he whispered, unable to stop himself from leaning back and allowing his eyes to slip shut as well.


	11. Here In Your Arms Is The Safest Place

Thanks for the reviews everyone. So sorry I haven't updated in like a week, but this chapter took me forever to write! It's really long, so I hope you like it! Fair warning, it's like midnight, so let me know if I totally screwed up something that I didn't catch myself. Thanks, enjoy!

**You've Got A Hero's Face And Right Here In Your Arms Is The Safest Place**

Elliot groaned as a shrill beeping noise pulled him from his peaceful slumber. He habitually thrust his hand out to hit the snooze button on the alarm he thought was the source of the sound. When he hit nothing but air, he finally cracked his eyes open to find an unfamiliar surrounding that looked nothing like his bedroom. He blinked his eyes clear and surveyed area around him. It took him a groggy moment before he remembered that he was in Olivia's apartment. Reinforcing that point, he felt Olivia shift her head on the pillow in his lap.

As the noise continued, Elliot realized that it was his cell phone going off. Fumbling through his pockets, he finally managed to find the offensive object and flip it open. "Hello?" He cleared his throat and answered.

"Where are you?" No matter how out of it Elliot was, he'd never be unable to recognize that voice.

"Good morning to you too Munch," he yawned, rubbing his forehead with an open palm.

"It's not gonna be good for long if you and Olivia don't get over here really soon. Cragen's not in a friendly mood right now."

"John, what are you talking about?" Munch's mind games weren't good for someone who'd just woken up.

"Do you happen to be anywhere near a clock right now?" Elliot released something that was a mix between a sigh and a groan. John was never the straightforward one. He held the cell phone between his shoulder and his ear so that he could look at his wristwatch. His other arm was still tangled in Olivia's grip. He slid back his sleeve and blinked the clock face into focus. "Damnit!" He cursed into the phone, seeing that he was almost two hours late for work.

"Yeah," John remarked, hearing him. "I've been calling Olivia's cell phone too, but she hasn't picked up."

"Okay, well I have to get ready. I'll stop by her apartment on my way over." He praised himself as he remembered to cover their tracks, glancing down at his partner.

"See ya." Elliot heard the phone click off before he could respond. He yawned one last time as his left arm stretched out to the side.

He looked down at Olivia, unable to stifle the blissful smile that made its way onto his lips. She appeared so angelic as her chest slowly rose and fell with each breath and a stray wisp of hair hung over her serene face. Her head was resting against their still entwined hands. Elliot could already feel the prickling sensation begin to rise up his arm, telling him that it was asleep. He let out a regretful sigh, as he knew he had to disturb her peaceful rest.

"Liv…" He murmured, moving the obstructing lock of hair from her face. "Liv," he repeated, gently squeezing her shoulder with his free hand. "Wake up," he affectionately requested, searching over her face for some sign that he heard her.

Olivia finally stirred, rotating to her other side so that she was facing Elliot, her eyes still shut. "Ten minutes…" She sleepily requested, softly smacking her lips together as she snuggled her face into his shirt.

"Olivia," Elliot used a gentle warning tone as he stretched out his other arm that had finally freed itself from her grasp. "We're late for work. You don't have ten minutes to get ready much less sleep." Feeling the sensation come back into his fingers, he tenderly rubbed the middle of her back in a small circular motion, hoping to wake her up.

"Five minutes," she purred, only relaxing even more under his touch.

"That's it," Elliot playfully declared, coming up with an idea. Slowly, so that he wouldn't startle her, he moved his arms out to the side. He was able to reach far enough to the side so that he could manage to slip his left hand under her knees, setting his palm up. His other arm dexterously worked its way under her shoulder blades in the same fashion. Elliot felt the floor with his feet, steadying himself before he rose to his feet, easily picking Olivia's petite frame up with him.

Olivia seemed unconcerned by her sudden shift in movement as she tossed her dangling arms over Elliot's shoulders and lulled her head over, pressing her face against his neck. He couldn't help but chuckle at her as he firmed his position on the ground. Unable to bring himself to set her down, Elliot started talking to her in an attempt to slowly pull her out of her lethargic condition. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Dreaming…" she sighed in a somewhat muffled voice as Elliot felt her breath against his bare skin. He could tell by her voice that she was still half-asleep and probably completely unaware of what she was saying. Only in a harmless way, he couldn't help but take advantage of her tired state.

"Dreaming? About what?" He implored with a grin as he leaned her forward, partially revealing her face.

"You…" Elliot couldn't help but notice the faintest hint of a smile appear at the corner of her lip as she spoke.

"Oh." A mischievous question crossed his mind and he couldn't help but voice it. "Dirty dream?" Though she didn't answer, he swore he saw a big grin on Olivia's lips as she dropped her head back down out of sight. "I'll take that as a yes," he quietly laughed, suddenly noticing soft snoring sounds coming from Olivia.

As Elliot watched her sleep again for a few minutes, he finally decided what to do. Readjusting the unconscious figure in his arms, he headed along the small path in the living room that led to Olivia's bedroom. Once they reached the door, he was forced to turn sideways to allow enough room to get through. He felt Olivia's weight begin to put a strain on his arms as he finally made it to the bed. Gratefully noting that the bedspread was already tossed to the side, he tediously bent over and delicately dropped Olivia's body onto the sheets. He literally had to pry her arms from his neck as he straightened up, a quiet mewl escaping Olivia as he did so.

Elliot smiled as he reached over her and grabbed the bedcover. Grasping one corner with his left hand and the other with his right, he pulled the material over Olivia, letting it rest right below her chin. "Sweet dreams, Liv," he whispered, grazing his lips over her forehead as he stood to leave.

--XXX--

"So I heard the perp you dragged in yesterday was a total creep," Fin casually remarked as he and Munch walked into the squad room, seeing Elliot sitting at his desk.

"Aren't they all?" John rhetorically asked, throwing a glance at his partner as they pulled up chairs to their adjoined desks.

"But this guy's in his own category of creep," Elliot spoke with disgust as he vividly saw the interrogation play back in his head. The whole thing still disconcerted him. He turned his focus back to his work when the sound of distant footsteps caught his ear. Straining to hear them better, it sounded like someone was running towards the squad room. Elliot cautiously kept an eye on the door, surprised by the figure that ran through it. "Liv?"

The detective's face was slightly flushed as she stood, out of breath, in the doorway with one of her hands on her hips for support. Her hair was still damp and her shirt had been somewhat crudely tucked into her pants. Elliot guessed she taken a whole five minutes to get ready this morning before dashing over to the station. He was about to talk to her when the Captain's office door opened.

He stuck his head partially out of the door, propping himself up with a hand against the frame, when he caught sight of her as well. "Olivia?" Cragen looked her up and down as confusion covered his face.

Olivia traced her hair behind both her ears as she quickly tried to come up with an excuse for her lateness, mistaking his confusion for anger. "Look, Captain. I'm really sorry I'm late. I was just…"

"I thought you were sick?" He asked, the rest of him appearing from behind his door.

"Sick?" A mystified look settled in her eyes as she echoed him.

"Yeah Liv," Elliot quickly jumped in to save the story he'd concocted up this morning. "I told him you were staying home because you didn't feel well, like you asked me to." He locked his eyes onto hers, trying to give her a look that said just-go-along-with-it. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah." She prudently shot him a subtle glare as she got the message. "I'm fine now." Reiterating the point, she gave Cragen a small, reassuring smile.

"Okay." He could sense that something was peculiar in the two detective's behavior, but Cragen didn't bother pushing it as he disappeared back into his office.

"Elliot?" Olivia broke the silence, crossing her arms. "Could I talk to you?" She brushed by him and made her way towards a back room.

"Sure." He tried to act casual as he followed her out of the squad room. Once they were out of earshot, Munch couldn't help but comment.

"Oh yeah," he nodded sarcastically, watching his partner stare at a computer screen. "That was _real_ subtle."

Fin didn't even look up as he rolled his eyes and picked a few papers up from his desk. "How 'bout you mind your own business and finish these reports on the MacGuire case." He pitched them forward onto John's cluttered side of the desk, the breeze sending other papers scattering to the floor.

"You gonna pick those up?" John sent an aggravated gaze over his glasses, raising an eyebrow at Fin's actions.

The detective just gave a look of incredulity as he met John's eyes with his own glare. "You pick 'em up. 'Sides, they wouldn't even be there if you cleaned all the crap off your desk and actually did the work you're paid to do."

With a grunt, John bent over in his chair and snatched the papers up, slightly crinkling each one as he threw them down on the table. "You call what we get a year 'pay?'"

"So quit!" Fin shot back, becoming irritated. "'Til then, you better finish that paperwork for Casey or it'll be both our asses."

John sighed as he sorted through the parts still left to be completed. "You think she'll be able to get an indictment on Reid without the victim?"

"The clothes in his closet and the matching DNA should be enough to get him on the rape," Fin shrugged.

"But what about the attempted murder? No weapon, nothing to connect him to." In all their searches, the two hadn't been able to find the gun anywhere and no one close to Reid had a gun registered under their name. They did find a pawnshop owner that had sold the same type of gun to someone matching Reid's profile, but without the actual gun, it was all just circumstantial. And for all anyone knew, it could be resting at the bottom of any number of bodies of water.

"We'll just have to see what Casey can do with what we got."

--XXX--

"You. Explain." Olivia shoved her open palm forward, connecting directly with Elliot's chest and sending him stumbling backwards into the room. Checking to see that no one had seen them, she shut the door behind her and faced her partner.

"Good to see you too." Unable to stop himself, he grinned at Olivia's adorable mix of puzzlement and touched anger.

"Yeah, wonderful." She shrugged him off and crossed her arms, impatiently waiting for an explanation. "Now do you mind filling me in? The last thing I remember is falling asleep on the couch."

"You don't remember this morning?" He hid his smile and couldn't help but slightly tease her, mocking her stance.

"Why? Should I?" There seemed to be a hint of worry in Olivia's voice as she tried to read Elliot's face.

He just shrugged and laughed, fighting the overwhelming sensation to pull her into his arms. "Yeah," he finally offered her, "we feel asleep on the couch. I woke up and realized we were late for work."

"So you just leave without bothering to wake me up?" She seemed genuinely upset as she accused Elliot.

"I tried to wake you up," he quickly contradicted, throwing his hands up defensively. "You just mumbled 'five more minutes' each time and fell back asleep." Elliot's expression became slightly more serious as he idly watched his arm move up from his side, eventually slipping his hand into Olivia's. He searched her eyes as his filled with compassion. "I'm sorry," his voice was hushed as he grinned.

At his apology and under his touch, Olivia could merely sigh as her anger melted. "No, it's all right." She affectionately squeezed her hand around his before releasing it. "I can't believe Cragen actually bought that whole 'sick' thing," she chuckled and shook her head, changing the subject. "Next time you're going to lie to him, fill me in so I don't look like a complete idiot."

"Well I had to tell him something. He was a few seconds from going over to your apartment and dragging you to work himself."

"Yeah, somehow, I don't see Cragen doing that." She shook her head and turned around, reaching for the doorknob to leave.

"Wait," Elliot stuck his arms out to wrap them around Olivia's waist, but quickly thought better of startling her like that and let them drop to his side again.

"What?" Olivia glanced behind her, remaining where she stood.

"You're not still mad at me, right?" He spoke with childlike innocence as he pouted his bottom lip and leaned forward to rest his chin against her right shoulder, straining to see her face from the corner of his eye.

"How could I be mad at that pretty face?" Olivia cooed jokingly, twisting her right hand up to tenderly pat his cheek with her palm.

Elliot grinned at her response, finally deciding to do something he'd wanted to do for the past week now. "Would you want to do something with me tonight, maybe go out for dinner?"

Almost instantly, Olivia noticed herself start to happily glow at Elliot's question, elated at the thought of finally being on a date with him. "Yeah," she answered, maybe a little too abruptly. "I'd love to." She felt the pressure of Elliot's chin on her shoulder leave as he picked his head up.

Elliot reached his hands out to turn her around to face him. Locking eyes as he rested his hands on her hips, a smile appeared on both their lips. "Pick you up at eight?"

"It's a date," she agreed, reluctantly moving his hands away as she opened the door to the room. "We should go before Munch has time to get suspicious."

"Please," Elliot slightly rolled his eyes, following her out of the room. "He just needs a few uncertain seconds and he can be suspicious about anything."

--XXX--

Elliot nervously adjusted his tie and collar as he stood outside Olivia's apartment door, waiting for her to appear. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what had him so worried, but he had a pretty good idea. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a date, having spent the last twenty years or so with Kathy. But that really wasn't the excuse. The real reason he was so apprehensive wasn't the actual date, it was who he was going on the date _with._

Elliot had never felt for anyone else what he felt for Olivia. Whenever he saw her or heard her voice, his breath was taken away. Every time he held her in his arms, he wanted to hold on even tighter and never let her go. There wasn't anything about her that he didn't love, making this all the more nerve-wracking. He was terrified of the thought of doing anything to ruin what they shared. As he heard the door begin to open, he felt his breath catch in his throat. The second he saw her though, all his anxiety and misgivings dissolved.

Olivia wore a flowing black dress, the bottom of the material caressing her knees as it moved. The neckline settled a few inches below her neck, curving up to turn into the straps that rested on her shoulders. Her hair was elegantly curled around her face as she smiled. She already had her jacket on and her purse in her hands.

"You look beautiful," he remarked in awe, unable to pull his stare away.

"You don't look too bad yourself there handsome," she returned the compliment, her eyes trailing over his charcoal suit and crème colored shirt, set off by his navy blue tie. "Ready to go?"

Just as Elliot was about to answer, he moved his hands, hidden behind his back. "Yep." With a grin, he produced his left hand, holding a bouquet of half a dozen red roses. He leaned forward and offered them to Olivia.

"Oh my God." Olivia gasped in pleasured surprise as she accepted them in one hand and cradled them against her other arm. "El…" She glanced up as her eyes twinkled in delight. "They're beautiful." She wrapped her free arm around his neck and pulled him into a half hug.

"I'm glad you like them," he answered, watching her look them over.

"Like them?" She repeated, catching his eye. "I love them!" Tears threatened her mascara as she delicately touched one of the crimson petals. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had given her roses, especially on a first date. As she thought about it, a small frown settled on her face.

"What's wrong?" Elliot inquired, brushing his hand against her cheek, alluring her gaze up at him.

"I don't have anything to put them in," she explained sheepishly.

Elliot smiled, pleased at the prediction he'd made earlier. "No problem." He finally pulled out his other hand from behind his back, revealing an exquisitely cut glass vase that was able to bend light into prisms if it caught it at just the right angle. "I thought I'd bring you something to hold them, just in case," he playfully winked. She stared at the vase, her mouth slightly hanging open as her expression remained blank. "What?" He searched her face. "Too much?"

Olivia completely opened her mouth and carefully shook her head, trying to find something to say. Finally, she decided to settle on the obvious. "You're incredible," she declared in glad astonishment.

--XXX--

"If you wanted Chinese, we could have stayed home and ordered take-out," Elliot couldn't help but point out as he glanced over his menu at Olivia.

"Hey, you said I could choose," she defended herself, returning his stare across the small table.

After leaving Olivia's apartment, Elliot had left where they went up to her. He was worried that she might be angry that he didn't have reservations at some big fancy restaurant, but she didn't let it show if she did. Instead, she happily suggested they try a small Chinese restaurant across town.

"Yeah, my mistake," he sighed sarcastically, seeing if he could get a rise out of Olivia.

"Oh relax." Reaching her menu over the table, she mischievously smacked the top of his head with it.

"Hey!" Elliot drew back in his chair, pretending to cower with his hands above his head.

"Good job tough guy," Olivia laughed. "I'm sure people are glad to know they have you keeping New York's streets safe."

"Physical and verbal abuse," he observed, holding his hands over his heart as a sad expression crossed his face, "you hurt me."

"I'm sure you'll live," she promised him, resting her arms on top of the menu and against the table. "Oh, food!"

Elliot turned around to see the waitress walking towards them with a large round plate in her hands. He was just about to tell Olivia that they hadn't ordered anything when she stopped in front of their table. "Here you are," the waitress smiled as she set the dish between them. She also set a small plate in front of each of them before whisking away again.

"I love these things!" Olivia declared, picking a fork up from the side of her place mat. There were about ten small, fried, triangular shaped things on the plate that Elliot had never seen before. "I hope you don't mind, I ordered an appetizer while you were in the bathroom."

"What are they?" He raised an eyebrow and studied them as Olivia transferred a few to her plate.

"They're rangoons. Try one." She picked one up between her thumb and forefinger and temptingly held it out towards him. Elliot just examined it with a doubtful stare. "Come on," she pressed him. "It's not gonna bite." Hesitantly, he took it in his hands. Glancing up, he saw Olivia had already eaten half of one.

"Fine," he sighed, caving in and finally taking a bite out of it. Thoughtfully chewing on it, he found it wasn't that bad.

"See, you're still alive," Olivia pointed out, taking a sip of her soda as she smiled.

"All right, you win. I know nothing and you know everything. All bow to the great Olivia." He surrendered, over-dramatically bowing down his hands and head to her.

"You just crack me up Stabler," she tried being sarcastic, but her words quickly turned into a laugh, bringing a smile to Elliot's face. The two continued their jesting and bantering as they waited for the waitress to come back to take their order.

"Hey Elliot?" A concerned frown settled on Olivia's face as she tried to get her date's attention.

"Yeah?" He glanced over at her, casually bringing his hand up to scratch the side of his neck.

"Are you all right?" She folded her hands on the table and anxiously studied his face.

"Yeah," he shrugged, moving his hand around to scratch under his chin, then the other side of his neck. "Why?"

"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but you look sort of… red." She informed him, a troubled look in her eyes.

"Red?" He suddenly stopped itching and faced her. "What do you mean?" Instead of answering, she bent over and grabbed her purse from under the table. After a few quick seconds of shuffling around in it, she finally pulled out a compact. Olivia flipped it open and held it out in front of Elliot so that he could see for himself.

Disturbed by her comment, Elliot snatched away the compact and held it up to his face. Sure enough, his skin was gaining a reddish hue to it, especially around his neck. Upon closer exception, he quickly recognized it.

"Liv, what are in those?" He felt himself stumbling over the words as he pointed to the plate of rangoons between them.

"Um, I don't know. It's just like bread, cream cheese…" She felt her voice faltering under the pressure of his insistent glare.

"Is there any shellfish in there? Like lobster or something?"

Olivia slightly nodded as she thought about it. "Yeah. They're crab rangoons. But you can't even taste it, so I didn't-" She was abruptly interrupted as Elliot jumped to his feet. "Elliot, what's wrong?" Grabbing the napkin from her lap, she tossed it on the table as she rose to her feet as well.

"Come on!" He urged her, grabbing her hand as he dashed towards the front door. Olivia awkwardly stumbled behind him, trying not to run into the tables and corners they passed. "Pay for the food and meet me in the front of the building. I pull the car around." He dropped her off at the cash register in the front of the restaurant, refusing to slow down.

"Elliot!" She yelled after him, now anxiety-ridden at his behavior. "What's going on?"

He faced her momentarily, long enough to get an explanation out. "We have to go to the hospital!"

--XXX--

"Elliot, I am _so_ sorry!" As Elliot pushed forward his front door and flipped his lights on, he listened to Olivia desperately apologize again. "It's all my fault. I feel terrible!" A grin crossed his face as he slipped his jacket off and stood in his living room, waiting for Olivia to follow him. Once she had stepped inside and thrown her coat to the side as well, Elliot grabbed her hands and pulled her into his arms. His hands rested on her lower back.

"Liv…" His eyes lovingly gazed into her guilty ones for a silent moment before he said more. "I'll live, really. It's not entirely your fault, you didn't know."

"Yeah…" Olivia bit her bottom lip and placed her hands on his arms, right above the inside of his elbows. She eyed him up with a skeptic stare and studied his face. "You'd think that fact that you're allergic to shellfish might have come up in all the years I've known you!" Playfully, she smacked one of his arms with an open palm.

"I'm sorry," he grinned, allowing his arms to slid away from Olivia's body. "I just didn't think it was that important."

"Life or death situation not important? Then what is?" Her question was rhetorical as she headed towards the couch in the middle of Elliot's living room.

"Liv, you heard the doctor. It's just a little rash and it should be gone in a few days. Nothing life or death." His feet automatically followed her, plopping himself down on the cushion next to her.

Olivia laughed at his statement as she looked him over again. "Elliot, you're bright red! And itchy…" She added warningly, noticing as he tried to discreetly scratch his exposed arms.

The rash that had started on his face and neck had long since grown, covering every inch of his skin from the waist up. Not only that, it also brightened in color, turning his skin a rosy red. His skin was also becoming dry and increasingly itchy. Elliot had recognized it the moment he looked into the mirror. He was having an allergic reaction. Luckily, it wasn't a serious allergy, so a rash and hives were the worst it ever got. He'd also been through enough of them to know that he had to see a doctor as a precautionary. The doctor he'd seen in the emergency room had merely prescribed him a lotion to use on the affected areas, promising that it should be gone in a day or two.

"Elliot! Stop!" He was rudely snapped back into reality as he felt Olivia's hand slap his arms away from each other. Glancing down, he realized he'd been unconsciously scratching his forearm again. "Where's that stuff the doctor gave you? He said it should help with the itching."

"Here." Elliot hesitantly produced the tube of ointment from his pocket and handed it over to Olivia, feeling a prickling sensation on his back. "Damnit!" He cursed, instinctually curving a hand around to scratch the area.

Olivia let out a slightly irritated sigh as she got to her feet and moved to the other side of Elliot. "I would have hated to be your mother when you got chicken pox." She grabbed his wrists and forcefully shoved his hands down to the side. "Haven't you ever heard of the itch and scratch theory?"

"What's that?" He turned his head to the side so that he could watch her from the corner of his eye.

"Common sense," she sighed, smiling at him. "Something itches, so you scratch it. Which, in turn, makes it itch even more, so you scratch it more. And it just continues until you're totally and completely miserable and wished you hadn't of scratched in the first place. Is your back bothering you?" She removed the top of the container, much like a toothpaste tube.

"Is that your subtle way of suggesting I take my shirt off?" He grinned, still craning his neck around to keep her in his vision.

"Well, I'd be the last one to object if you wanted to." She felt her lips curl into a smile as she flirted with him.

"Depends, does it involve scalding coffee?" He referred to the incident that happened earlier this week.

Olivia just laughed, hiding her slight embarrassment as he brought that up. "Just shut up and strip Stabler." Her voice lost all seriousness and composure, as she was barely able to stifle her laughter.

"Fine." He crossed his arms and clutched the material at the bottom of his shirt. "But if you start pulling out whips and chains, I'm out."

"Darn it!" Olivia pretended to be angry. "You've figured me out." She was quickly silenced as Elliot pulled his shirt over his head, leaving nothing but his bare back and ripped muscles, which despite its reddish hue, left Olivia breathless.

Elliot didn't fail to notice this as a smile crossed his face. "What? Speechless?"

"Just a little." She didn't even bother to deny it as she started to massage the cream colored lotion into his skin, starting at his shoulder blades and moving down his back.

"Hey Liv?" Elliot suddenly broke the comfortable silence.

"Hmm?" She quietly inquired, turning her attention.

"I feel bad that we had to cut dinner short. We could go out and try to find someplace else to eat if you wanted."

"Oh no." Shaking her head, Olivia turned his offer down. "It's too late to go out now."

"It's New York," he objected, contradicting her. "I'm sure someplace is still open."

"Really El, I'm fine. Besides, everybody would be staring at us."

Feeling Olivia finish his back, he picked his shirt up and turned around to face her. "Staring at us?" He repeated, slipping his shirt back on much to Olivia's obvious displeasure. "Why?"

"In case you haven't noticed," she raised an eyebrow at him, "all you need are some claws and a tail and you could easily pass for a lobster."

"Oh gee, thanks." Had it not been for the fact that his entire face was already red, Olivia could have sworn he was blushing in embarrassment.

"I still like ya lobster man," she laughed assuredly, throwing her arms around his shoulders as she leaned forward into the embrace.

"Lobster man?" He chuckled as he repeated her for clarification. "Wonderful, I sound like some villain or alien from one of those old horror movies."

"Speaking of movies, you have pay-per-view, right?" Olivia lifted her arms off of him and reached for the remote control lying on the coffee table. She expertly flipped the TV on and began skimming through the channels, setting her head against Elliot's chest.

"Yeah, starts on 502." Elliot felt a smile creep on his face as he slid his arm down and placed his hand on Olivia's bare shoulder.

"Let's see…" She read each of the titles aloud as she passed them, also voicing her opinion. "_Because of Winn-Dixie_, no. _Alexander,_ next. _Beauty Shop,_ nope. _XXX: State of the Union,_ ugh._ The Upside of Anger, Ice Princess, Be Cool_… Any of these sound good to you?" There was a touch of aversion in her voice as she waited for Elliot's opinion.

"Whatever you want," he shrugged, not much of a movie person himself. "The last time I went to the theaters I saw the Spongebob Squarepants movie, so I'm not too picky."

"That reminds me, do you have any popcorn?" Sitting straight up, Elliot's hand fell from her shoulder.

"Yeah, up in the cupboard. I'll get it." As he was about to stand up, Olivia put a hand on his chest.

"_I'll_ get it," she corrected him, rising to her feet. It took her a few minutes to locate the popcorn, open a bag, and stick it in the microwave. Setting the timer, she sauntered back towards the couch and sat back down.

"_Killing Mr. Griffin_," Olivia found another movie with the remote. "That actually sounds half-way interesting."

"Whatever," he said again, feeling the tingling sensation come back into his skin, right under his neck. Subtly, so that he wouldn't disturb Olivia, he ran his fingernails back and forth over the area, trying to soothe the itch.

"You have no willpower, do you?" Olivia broke the silence, sitting forward and shuffling around to face Elliot. "What part of _no itching_ doesn't get through to you?" Her irritated expression softened into a smile as she seized his wrists in her hands. Elliot merely watched as she pressed her open palms against his hand and closed her fingers between his, immobilizing them.

"Easy for you to say," he shot back, trying to scratch his neck with his shoulder blade. "That's all I can focus on."

"Well…" Olivia spoke flirtatiously as she bent forward, resting their foreheads together as she gazed into his deep blue eyes. "I guess I'll just have to take your mind off of it." Pushing their hands out to either side of them, she softly pressed her mouth forward, meeting Elliot's lips with her own. Elliot, happily surprised, returned the affection, slightly leaning into it. Olivia gently pulled out of the lock, a smile curling her lips as she repeated the innocent kiss a few more times.

Suddenly the timer on the microwave went off, startling Olivia as she jumped back from Elliot and jerked their hands apart. She turned to the source of the noise as she quickly caught her breath.

"You all right Liv?" With slight guilt and concern, Elliot carefully studied her. The last thing he wanted to do was push her into something that she wasn't comfortable with, especially after her attack. He wanted to respect her boundaries and allow her all the space she needed.

Olivia tossed her head back around to face Elliot, flipping her hair back as she did so. "Yeah," she genuinely smiled, "fine." She pushed her hands off of the couch as she stood up to go retrieve the popcorn. Pulling the steaming bag out, she carefully pried it open. "Popcorn?" Olivia hopped back onto the couch, pulling out a handful of popped kernels.

"Thanks," he grinned, taking some from her hand and tossing a few into his mouth.

"Movie time," she declared, settling back into the couch and nestling up against Elliot again, a position she seemed to favor. Elliot didn't mind at all as he slid his arm around her waist and reached for the popcorn.

--XXX--

"It is _so_ late…" Olivia mumbled as she snuggled closer against Elliot, both of them already seconds away from dosing off. "I should go." They were both sprawled out on the couch. Elliot completely stretched out on his back, Olivia lying next to him with her head and arms on his chest.

"Least we don't have to work tomorrow," he yawned, sleepily stretching his arms out and then resting them on her back.

"Good point." Neither could manage to keep their eyes open as they talked. "I should still go home."

"All right," he sighed indifferently.

"I should, but I don't want to…" Another yawn escaped her as she remained motionless, though somehow succeeded in prying her eyelids apart.

"Why not?" Elliot felt her stare on him and opened his eyes as well.

"Cause you're not there, and I want to be with you." Her voice barely topped a whisper as they locked gazes. "Last night was the first good night's sleep I had in weeks. No nightmares, no dreams, just sleep. When I'm with you, I forget everything else. When I'm in your arms, I feel safe, safer than I've ever felt before. And I never want you to let me go."

Elliot felt his tired eyes mist over as she spoke, glad that she could feel safe again, and even gladder that he was the reason why. "And I'll never let you go, _ever_." He ran his hand through her hair, still lost in her eyes. "You can always feel safe with me Liv, I promise you that."


	12. Glad I’m In Love With You

Thanks for the reviews everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a week. The stupid phone company turned off our phone line. Grr... Think they're so damn powerful, not working on the weekends... Sorry, ignore my rambling. Anyway, here's some more EO fluff with a side of Munch and Fin. ;) (Work with me on the basketball terminology and rules, I've never been accused of being a jock.)

**Little Things That You Do Make Me Glad I'm In Love With You**

As Olivia slowly regained consciousness, she kept her eyes shut and allowed her head to rise and fall with Elliot's breaths. Finally willing her eyes open, she let that just awoken daze settled over her, forgetting where she was for a moment. A quick glance at the figure underneath her, and the previous night came flooding back, bringing a smile with it.

Elliot was still lost in a peaceful slumber, his arms wrapped around her and his face already beginning to regain its normal color. She contemplated getting up, but decided against it when she realized it would disturb him. Instead, she tediously shifted around, pausing each time Elliot responded until she was finally in sight of the digital clock on the coffee table. Bright red numbers informed her it was about nine-thirty.

Genuinely surprised, she glanced out the nearest window, being at such an angle that she only saw the clear blue sky, dotted with a few clouds. Normally, Olivia had always been half-blessed half-cursed with her own internal clock that never allowed her sleep past seven-thirty or eight. A nonchalant sigh heaved her shoulders and she folded her arms on top of Elliot's chest. Gently setting her chin on top of them, she watched Elliot sleep, appearing more serene than she could ever recall seeing him. On average, most people she knew would wake up if you stared at them long enough, but Elliot didn't look like he was one of those people, as he remained unfazed through the next few minutes. Olivia could tell he wasn't getting up anytime soon.

_Oh well, at least neither of us has to work today. _As the word 'work' popped into her head, all her unfinished cases came with it like clockwork. With nothing else to occupy her, she let her eyes stare away as she mentally reviewed the cases_. Let's see… I still have to finish up the report on the Simmons' case. Elliot and I hit a dead end with the Pritchard case, no more suspects and the probability of finding any very low. And then there's Karissa Perry's case. Only thing left with that is forensics and trying to convince Casey to do a 'he-said' 'she-said' trial with the 'she' still in a coma._

Letting her guard down for a moment, two mental images obtrusively invaded her vision, one of her attacker's shadowy face and the other the twisted grin of Dr. Aultz. She felt a cold chill run through her blood as she snapped her eyes shut, desperately fighting the pictures away. When the remains still lingered behind, Olivia pressed her face against Elliot's chest and used him as a shield to ward the memories off.

Two nights ago, back in Olivia's apartment, Elliot had been right when he guessed that she was so distant because of what Aultz had said in the interrogation. It had gotten to her, but a lot more than he thought. Listening to the perp meticulously destroying her job she could tolerate, that wasn't the first time, after all. But when he said that no woman was ever raped, it hit her like a personal attack. If he had known that she was raped, it probably would have been the same speech, only with her name substituted in place of the generalizations. What really caught in her ear was the last thing he'd said: _What kind of weak, pathetic, shell of a human can't stop them self from being violated like that?_ There was no fiber in her being that didn't scream that the phrase was ludicrous, but that didn't take the bite out of it nonetheless.

Just as Olivia had coaxed the memories out of her mind, she felt Elliot stir underneath her grip. Raising her head, she watched as he yawned and blinked his eyes open.

"Hey sleepyhead," she smiled, placing her head back down against her arms as she kept her stare on him.

He groaned in response, rubbing his face awake with open palms as he mumbled. "What time is it?"

"Nine-thirty." Elliot smacked his lip against the roof of his mouth and squinted at Olivia.

"And you're up already? Ever heard of sleeping in?" He drowsily stared at her with a lopsided grin.

"Ever heard of waking up at a decent hour?" She picked up one of her arms and set her elbow down so that she could lean her head against her hand.

"Just 'cause I can work on three hours of sleep doesn't mean I want to." Another yawn parted his lips as his eyes fluttered shut again, ready to drift back off to sleep.

"Hon, you got _at least_ eight hours of sleep. I'm sure you're fine." When Elliot ignored her, a mischievous grin flashed on Olivia's face and her mind formulated the perfect plan to _really_ wake him up. Making sure her legs and feet were completely free to move, she picked her right one up and tossed it over Elliot's legs. Her hands braced themselves on either side of his torso and she lifted herself in the air. She set herself down so that she was lying directly on top of him, pressing against his stomach with the force of her weight.

As Olivia did that, a groan came from Elliot, like she had just knocked the wind out of him. When he realized by shifting around that she had him entirely pinned down, his eyelids flickered open. "Would you mind moving?" His tone held an air of playfulness despite how drowsy he was. "You're no lightweight and you're crushing my rib cage."

An insulted gasp came from Olivia as she glared at Elliot with fake offense. "Just for that, you are definitely getting up now!" She swung both her feet onto the floor and stood, pushing off of the couch. "Come on." Gripping both her hands around one of his, she tugged and yanked until she had forced Elliot into a sitting position.

"Li-iv…" He whined in protest, bending his waist as she jerked his arm forward with her attempts to drag him to his feet. "It's Sunday and we don't have to work. Lemme sle-ep!"

Olivia laughed in amusement as she somehow managed to haul Elliot up on his feet. "You can't sleep, we should go do something." Keeping a tight grip on his arm so that he couldn't fall back into the couch, Olivia studied the floor and racked her brain for some activity. Her face lit up as an idea crossed her mind. "I know! Let's go for a run!"

"As in 'let's go run down to the donut shop across the street for breakfast and coffee?'" A shimmer of hope appeared in his half-closed eyes momentarily, dissipating as Olivia spoke.

"No… running!" She didn't even notice Elliot's reaction as she became more excited with her idea. "I know this jogging path we can go on. It'll be great!"

--XXX--

"I… can't… breathe…" Elliot shot his hand out to grip the nearest telephone pole and steady himself. Bending forward, his breath was ragged and heavy, each intake of air like fire to his lungs. He drew his hand over his forehead and down his face, soaking it in sweat.

"You can't stop now!" Olivia appeared in front of him, walking in place as thin beads of sweat delicately formed on her brow and she barely seemed winded. Her cheeks were flustered as she looked down at Elliot. "We've still got two miles to go."

"Two?" He heaved, turning his head up towards the side to glare at her in shock. "But the…" Waving one hand down the direction they'd just came from, his head was spinning too much to articulate. "And the… We just…"

"That was just barely a mile. Here." Olivia grinned at his babbling as she held her hand against his back, pushing in so that he straightened. "Keep your shoulders back, it opens your airway." He did as she said, slowly regulating his breath. When it became normal, he met Olivia's gaze. "I didn't know you were so out of shape." Olivia chuckled, her hand still lingering on his back for support. "You'd think Mr. Muscles here would be able to run a mile without collapsing." Her opposite hand traced its way over his stomach, caressing the curves of the six pack abs under his shirt.

"That," Elliot started, his breathing still slightly labored, "is upper body strength. All in the arms, not the legs." As if his body was responding to the statement, the muscles near his shins starting aching in a dull pain. "I don't run."

"Apparently." Olivia pushed the hair away from her face and rubbed the side of her neck impatiently. "It's so exhilarating! I used to run every night, sometimes in the morning, but I suppose we can cut it short." Her face didn't even attempt to hide its displeasure at the thought.

"When did you stop?" The two mutually and leisurely began continuing their walk along the sidewalk, keeping in rhythm with each other as they spoke.

Olivia paused, letting her mind and the air clear for a brief moment. "After I was attacked." She pursed her lips together and looked ahead with a despondent stare. "I couldn't be out on the street, especially at night." Her shoulders rose and fell with a sharp intake and release of oxygen, the sound tugging at Elliot's emotions.

His words from the previous nigh echoed in his ear. _You can always feel safe with me Liv, I promise you that._ And now here she was, all but begging him to stay with her. A hesitant expression settled on his face. "How many more miles are there?"

Olivia turned to face him as a delighted smile started to creep on her face. "Just two."

"All right," he sighed, turning his walk into a slow jog as he held his arms bent against his side. His sudden transition had moved him a few feet ahead of Olivia, but she quickly cut the difference and appeared beside him. Sweat starting to drip from his forehead again, he glanced at Olivia. "You're lucky you're so cute," he remarked jokingly, as if that was the only reason he'd agreed to this.

"Shut up!" She playfully punched his arm, swinging her right fist past her chest and solidly connecting. "Jerk," she muttered with a sly smile.

"Ow!" His hand shot up to cover the wounded area, the blow hurting more than he thought it would. "If that's how you take a compliment, I'd hate to see you react to an insult."

"The only thing you're going to see is the back of my head," she declared challengingly. Without any more warning, she began pumping her legs even harder, easily gliding ahead of Elliot. "Bet I can beat you there!" She taunted, calling over her shoulder.

"Head start!" He objected with a grin, trying to match Olivia's pace. "No fair!"

"Life's not fair, slowpoke!" She yelled back, gaining even more distance between them.

--XXX--

"Don't think I didn't see that, you little cheater!" Olivia misjudged her speed and distance as she sprinted towards the stationary Elliot, almost knocking both of them to the concrete ground as she collided with him.

"What? No congratulations on my victory?" He smirked, grabbing onto Olivia's elbows and holding her steady until she regained her balance.

"Victory my butt, you cheated!" She panted and pointed a reproaching finger at him. Their "race" had led them to an old abandoned playground containing a few rusty swings and a basketball hoop. They stood in the middle of it, right over a wooden bench.

"How'd I cheat?" The smug grin was never wiped from his face as he crossed his arms.

"When we were going around that last corner, I couldn't even see you. Then all of a sudden you were in front of me. You had to have taken a short cut somewhere."

"Circumstantial!" He protested, carefully stressing each syllable with his best lawyer impression. "You have no eyewitnesses, no proof, no case."

"Don't pull that lawyer crap with me. You cheated, just admit it." Olivia leaned closer towards Elliot, just like she was interrogating a suspect and trying to get him to crack.

Elliot played her game, moving in as well with a haughty expression. "Under the Fifth Amendment I reserve the right not to incriminate myself." His blank expression turned into a boyish grin at his statement.

Olivia ran her tongue over her lip and studied his face, her mouth curling up as well. "You do realize how guilty that makes you sound?"

"All right," he sighed, tossing his hands up in the air. "You win!" He dejectedly held his hands in front of him, palms down. "I cut through an alley, I admit it." Elliot inhaled a deep breath of air and waited, like Olivia was going to cuff him. "Am I under arrest?" He teased, laughter finally breaking through from him at the end of his question.

Olivia chuckled as well, unable to keep a serious expression. "No, but the joke's on you." She sympathetically patted his arm and met his crestfallen gaze. "We still have to get back to your house, brilliant one." The look on Elliot's face when she said that was priceless, drawing another fit of laughter from her.

"This is just some big plan of yours to dig me an early grave, isn't it?" His amusement seemed to be waning.

"Yep." Her face fell as Olivia ran her hand back and forth on the top of Elliot's head, over his sweat-soaked hair. "Just a gold digger looking to bump you off for your money." She pulled her hand down, wiping it along the bottom of her shirt before folding her arms together.

"Oh no, Liv…" Elliot instantly recanted in guilt, taking Olivia's words to heart. "I didn't mean… I don't think…"

"El," Olivia gave a small smile at his awkward apology. "I was kidding." She pulled him into an abrupt hug, momentarily resting the side of her head on his chest. "You take me way too seriously." Her head turned up to look at him, her eyes scanning over his. Suddenly her eyes narrowed as she suppressed a grin in favor of a more serious, inquisitive expression. "Unless you do think I'm just some hussy after your wallet."

"After my wallet and extensive back account," Elliot added, tossing an arm over her shoulder. "If you cleaned them both out you'd have just enough for the dollar menu at McDonalds, and who wouldn't kill for a few bucks?"

"Right…" Olivia dubiously nodded her head, raising up her left hand to rest on the one Elliot was setting on her shoulder. "Now let's head home and get cleaned up. Then we can go out and grab some lunch. I know this really good seafood place with the best lobsters…" She glanced out of the corner of her eyes, waiting for Elliot's reaction.

"Oh, hilarious." Elliot pulled his arm backwards, dragging Olivia with it until she was pressed up against him. "Let's spend another night in the hospital."

Olivia laughed as they mindlessly began sauntering around the park with no particular destination in mind, still embraced. "It brings back such memories though, like the second half of our first date." She teasingly brushed her cheek against his chest, signaling that she was just fooling around.

"I still feel like a horrible date for that," he added in a guilty murmur. "When are you going to let me make it up to you for ruining the night?" Every time he tried to apologize or make any attempt to fix it, she'd just shrug him off.

"You didn't ruin it," she insisted, carelessly kicking the ground and sending a few pebbles scattering away. "It was different," she conceded with a small laugh, "but at least I know things won't get boring with you."

"True," he agreed, his eyes studying the landscape in front of him.

"Now, are you going to keep avoiding the subject or are we ever going to go back to your house?"

Elliot gave a dramatic sigh, moving his other hand to Olivia's free shoulder and transferring all his weight onto her. "Only if you carry me." He pushed his arms forward so that his elbows were on her shoulders and his chin was resting against them.

Olivia felt her knees defensively buckle against the new weight, halting her in place. "You're so melodramatic." She curled her arms up so that they were hanging over Elliot's. "I'm not carrying you, you big baby."

"Hey…" An idea formed in his head as he watched a taxi drive by the lot. "Let's get a taxi."

"And where's the fun in that?" She reasoned, finding it absurd to take a taxi a few miles when they could just walk.

"You're just mad because I won," he grinned, purposely trying to push her buttons.

"You did not win, you cheated by your own account," Olivia reminded him, arguing with herself over whether or not to shove him off of her.

"I took a shortcut, yeah, but you _did_ get a head start, which could also be considered cheating." Elliot made her choice for her as he lifted his arms and weight off of Olivia and straightened himself.

"Don't even try that." She slightly shoved Elliot backwards as she whipped around to face him, the glint of a fire starting in her eyes. "Anyway, two wrongs don't make a right. Don't tell me you've never heard that."

"Well three rights make a left," he childishly shot back, like a kid arguing with his mother. It was all he could do to keep from sticking out his tongue at her. "You know I would have won if it had been fair, that's really why you're upset." Elliot had to stifle a grin as he tried to appear as serious as possible. He knew exactly what to say to get her angry, and he couldn't stop himself.

"Please!" She seemed outraged by the very thought. "I'd've kicked your butt hands down! I can beat you in anything."

"Oh really?" He challenged, a devilish twinkle in his eye.

"Really." She snapped, defiantly crossing her arms. "Any time, any place. You name it."

"All right." Finally allowing a smile on his lips, his eyes scanned over the surroundings, looking for an event in which they could settle their duel. His vision rested on the basketball hoop and deserted orange ball conveniently set next to it. "First to twenty wins?"

Olivia followed his gaze to the makeshift court and grinned. "You're on." It took the two only a minute to race over to the hoop, Elliot arriving first and snatching the basketball up. He audaciously began dribbling it back and forth from hand to hand, heading towards Olivia.

"How 'bout we make it interesting?" He and Olivia stood a few feet apart, both warily keeping an eye on each other. Elliot was facing the hoop, starting the game.

"I think wiping the floor with you will be interesting enough," her lips curled into a grin as she bent her knees and waited for Elliot to move.

"I know, winner gets to decide how we get back." He bounced the ball off of the concrete one more time before tossing it to Olivia to check it. She threw it back as he spoke again. "When _I_ win, we'll take a taxi, your treat."

"Well, when _I_ win, you can carry _me_ back."

"You're on." Elliot adroitly bent his waist as he starting dribbling the ball back and forth, scanning the situation. Olivia watched him like a hawk, taking in everything in slow motion. Suddenly, Elliot held the ball and feigned throwing it left. When Olivia dived towards it, he pulled his hands back and curved around her. Breaking into a sprint as he dribbled the ball, Elliot easily made a bank shot off of the backboard. He caught the basketball in his right hand as it passed through the net, sending a smirk towards Olivia. "Two zip," he declared, hurling the ball towards her.

Olivia skillfully caught it between her hands and couldn't help but smile at Elliot. After they tossed the ball back and forth, Olivia hung back, casually dribbling it around her feet. Catching Elliot off guard, she jumped even farther backwards. Positioning her feet on the ground, she launched the orange ball into the air and towards the hoop. Elliot snapped his head around just in time to see it slip into the rim, getting nothing but net. "I think that's far enough to be considered a three-pointer, wouldn't you say?" He met Olivia's smug grin in awe. "Something else you didn't know about me, I played basketball all through high school. Even named MVP my senior year." Running past Elliot to retrieve the basketball, Olivia gave him a playful wink as she laughed.

--XXX--

"18-19," Olivia breathed, watching Elliot sink an easy rebound. "Next basket wins." He tossed her the ball and she quickly checked it, sensing that this was her only chance to pull off another basket. Since she was in no situation to attempt another foul shot or three-pointer, Olivia realized she'd have to try and take the court. Transferring the bouncing ball to her left hand, she dashed forward, trying to circumvent Elliot. He immediately thrust his arms out and started blocking her from making a shot. Still dribbling the ball, she curled forward, knowing she couldn't keep this up for much longer.

In a split second decision, Olivia stuck her left foot out to make it appear like she was going to go backwards. As Elliot followed the motion, she jerked back around and went to dash in the opposite direction. Instead of stepping over him, Olivia's foot accidentally tangled behind Elliot's leg. She felt herself pitch forward and threw her arms out to break her fall. Elliot noticed this and spun around to grab her, only catching him off balance as well. The two instantaneously fell to ground, a groan escaping both of them.

Olivia had landed face down, her knees ultimately breaking her fall. Elliot's side was right on top of her, his elbow inadvertently shoved into her back. "You're no lightweight either," Olivia gasped breathlessly underneath her partner. "Get offa me!" Elliot hastily rolled backwards, landing his back against the concrete, still somewhat dazed by the sudden fall. He looked over to see Olivia turning up into a sitting position. She seemed to be uninjured as she wiped the gravel from the palms of her hands, there because she'd landed on them to break her fall. Elliot pushed himself upright as well, sitting on the ground next to her. "You okay?" A somewhat pained look crossed her face as she met his gaze.

"Yeah. You broke my fall." He flashed a reassuring and joking grin. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed halfheartedly, reaching forward to wipe the dirt off of her knees. As soon as she placed her hands against them, she drew in a sharp breath and winced in pain.

"Your knees hurt?" It was more of a statement as Elliot examined them closer, realizing the material of her pants was torn around the wounded area.

"It's all right," she shrugged it off, rolling her pant leg up. "The ground broke my fall." Once the material was removed, it revealed her bloody knee, scraped raw and strewed with fragments of rocks and concrete. Olivia bit her lip and tried to ignore the agony as she brushed her hand over the injury in an attempt to clean it off.

"Be careful," Elliot warned, leaning forward and gently grasping her knee between his thumb and forefinger. "You don't want to embed anything deeper than it already is." Eyeing up a particularly noticeable piece of gravel, he held his other hand in a pinching motion and nimbly plucked it from her skin.

"Ow!" Olivia impulsively smacked his arm back in reaction to the discomfort. "That hurt!" She glared at him before suspiciously rechecking her wound to make sure he hadn't inadvertently caused anymore damage.

"Just trying to help," he remarked defensively, noticing the blood was starting to gather on her scrape. "Do you have a tissue or napkin or something?"

"No." The sound of a car pulling up to the curb suddenly caught their attention. They looked up to see one of their squad cars parked next to the fence surrounding the lot, Fin and Munch inside of it.

"Oh my God," Olivia hissed, a fretful expression on her face as she turned to Elliot. "It's John and Fin," she pointed out in anxiety. "What do we do?" The biggest concern with their relationship had been to keep it a secret. If either one of them found out, it would be all over the precinct in no time.

Elliot raised an indifferent eyebrow at her as he remained calm and composed. "Liv, relax. Just be cool." He turned up to see the two stepping out of the car, their voices slicing through the air.

"See?" John bragged, pointing in their direction as he yelled at his partner over the hood of the car. "I told you it was them." Elliot couldn't help but roll his eyes as Fin rudely yelled something back that he'd have a hard time repeating. "What are you two doing rolling around on the ground?" John refocused himself as he slammed the door behind him.

"Do you guys have a first aid kit in there?" Elliot yelled back, conveniently ignoring his inquiry for the time being.

"Yeah!" It took Fin a second before he emerged with a small tackle box object in hand. The pair didn't ask any more questions as they jogged through the opening in the wire fence and made their way towards Elliot and Olivia. "What happened?" Their eyes immediately found their worried way to Olivia's banged-up leg.

"I just fell, I'm fine." Olivia attempted to brush the concern away as she awkwardly tried to make it to her feet without applying any pressure to her wounded leg.

"You still didn't answer my question," John reminded her, his hand the first to shoot out to help her up.

Olivia sighed as she accepted the assistance and stood up. "We were just shooting hoops and I fell on my knee." Refusing anymore aid, she limped over toward the bench with the three men in tow behind her. Once there, she lowered herself onto one side and stretched her leg over the length of the seat. While she tended to the abrasion, John continued to grill them.

"What are you two doing out here on your day off?" He crossed his arms and expectantly waited for an answer.

"Just playing a game of one on one," Elliot shrugged, desperate to change the subject. "What are you doing here?"

"We're just canvassing an assault a few buildings over that happened last night," Fin informed him. "John said he saw you two and he wouldn't shut his bony ass up 'til we came over here."

"It was either that or talk to more of the lovely tenants in these apartments. Besides, we had to talk to Olivia anyway."

"About what?" Having just finished bandaging her knee, Olivia gingerly stood up and joined back into the conversation as she heard her name.

"Casey needs you to testify for the MacGuire case," Fin hesitantly answered, knowing Olivia's history with the case.

"You finally nailed the Reid kid on that?" Elliot folded his arms and glanced back and forth between the two of them.

"Yes and no." John responded with his usually cryptic answer. "We found the clothes that Emma described him wearing and we also matched his DNA to the hair found in the rape kit."

"So what's the problem?" That seemed as open and shut to Olivia as any other case she'd ever had.

"Reid's the problem," Fin slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Bastard's claiming it was consensual."

Understanding flooded Elliot's expression. "And with the victim dead, no one to dispute it."

"But what about the fact that he shot her? You can't even use S&M as a defense for that."

John paused before mustering up the courage to answer her. "We couldn't recover the gun."

"And no weapon…" Fin added, letting them finish the thought.

"Nothing to tie him to it." Olivia shook her head in incredulity. "Sonofabitch."

"Casey says that the only way we'll be able to indict him is by proving her behavior was consistent with that of a rape victim." John directed his next statement at Olivia. "Since you took her statement and talked to her in the hospital, you're our best bet on establishing her state of mind."

"Okay, when's the trial?" Olivia was all too willing to help put him behind bars.

"Starts the day after tomorrow. Casey said she can prep you sometime before then." She just nodded, already envisioning how the trial would go.

"So who's winning?" Fin broke the tense silence as he reached down to pick up the basketball by his feet.

"Me," Olivia answered, a proud grin forming on her lips, "by one. Next basket wins."

As Elliot watched Fin dexterously dribble the ball against the asphalt, a thought popped into his head. He turned to Olivia with a smile. "What do you say we make the last play two on two?"

"Know you can't win on your own so you try to recruit people to help you?" Olivia met his gaze with a knowing smirk. "Put all the handicaps on it you want, I'll still win. Come on!" She grabbed John's hand in hers and pulled him onto the court. "Me and John against you and Fin, game point." Fin and Elliot exchanged an amused glance as they both pictured John attempting any kind of sport.

"I don't remember agreeing to this!" John yelled at Olivia as Elliot and Fin joined them on the court.

"You'll be fine," Olivia shouted back, checking the basketball with Elliot as she remained aware of her tender knee. "Just watch the ball." The three heard him grumbling as he sauntered off and took up a position right next to the basket. Fin rolled his eyes and stayed on the other side of the pavement, not bothering to guard his partner as Elliot began blocking Olivia.

Olivia began just as she had done before, trying to move down the court with Elliot almost right on top of her, now favoring her left leg. Instead of trying to fake him out this time, she awkwardly twisted around so that she had a clear view of John. With only a second to work with, she launched the ball towards him. "John!"

The unsuspecting detective looked up at the sound of his name, just in time to see the orange sphere hurtling towards him. A look of alarm settled on his face as he covered his head with his hands, literally dove out of the ball's path, and threw himself to the ground, leaving it to collide and clatter against the wire fence behind him.

While Elliot and Fin were doubling over in laughter at John's erratic behavior, Olivia cupped her forehead in her hand in dismay and shook her head in disbelief. After the ball had completely lost all momentum and was motionlessly resting against the fence, John cautiously removed his hands from his head and his eyes alertly darted around. Temporarily unaware of his colleague's reactions, he rose to his feet. Brushing the dust from his coat, he heard Olivia's voice.

"John?" She spoke over the laughs in an irritated tone as she massaged the bridge of her nose in aggravation with her eyes still closed. "What was that?"

"Me?" He instantly yelled back in outrage, his sudden fear overcome by anger. "What was that!" He demanded, reaching an open palm towards the basketball. "Are you trying to kill me, throwing that thing at my head?"

"That _thing_," Olivia shouted back, finally prying her eyes open, "is a basketball. As in we're playing a basketball _game_?" She waited for some hint that he knew what she was talking about. "I throw you the ball and then you throw it into that big circle-thingy?" She found herself mocking him in her anger as she pointed towards the basketball hoop.

"Well, how 'bout you give a guy some warning that you're about to hurl a ball the size of my head at me!"

"Because that defeats the entire element of surprise!" Olivia found herself talking with her hands. "If I tell you I'm going to pass it to you then the other team can block you, ruining the play. Don't you know anything about the game?"

"No!" John shouted obviously, like that was the point he'd been trying to make the entire time. "What part of 'I was a walking bruise in PE' did you interpret to mean that I was in any sort of way athletically inclined?" Elliot and Fin only laughed harder as John spread his arms out, a flustered redness starting to form on his face. As Olivia took in the entire scene and listened to John speak, she felt a smile sneak onto her face. Before she knew it, she was bursting into laughter as well. "It's not funny!" John argued, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, John," Olivia apologized between chuckles as she walked towards him, regaining her composure. "But it is kind of funny." She couldn't hide the telling grin on her face as she placed an arm around his shoulders and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

John just bit the side of his tongue as he felt his cheeks blush under her stare. "All right," he conceded somewhat, walking forward with Olivia. "It's a little funny."

"We still love ya John, athletic or not." Olivia comfortingly patted his shoulder as they headed towards Elliot and Fin, both of whose laughter had finally subsided. Fin's cell phone started ringing, bringing all eyes on him.

"Tutuola," he professionally answered it. "All right, thanks." He glanced up at John and started walking past him. "Come on 'bruise,'" he called behind him with a smile as he referred to Munch. "Our vic's awake. See ya guys later." He held up his hand in a semi-wave at Olivia and Elliot.

"Bye," they spoke in unison as John sprinted after his partner. They could still hear Fin making fun of John as the two got into the unmarked squad car. Once they were completely out of sight, Olivia turned to Elliot.

"Look's like it's just you and me again," she grinned, still amused by the past few minutes.

"And it's my ball," he informed her, jogging over to pick the basketball up. Holding it in his hands, he sprinted back, tossing it to Olivia as he passed her.

"Still game basket," she reiterated, bouncing it towards him once he was in position. The two bent down, each keeping the other eye level as Elliot tauntingly weaved the ball through his legs and brought it back down into a dribble. "Stop showing off and move," Olivia ordered, her eyes dizzily following the sphere.

"All right," he shrugged, a grin curling his lips. He abruptly caught the ball and threw it over Olivia's head towards the basket. They watched as it landed on the rim, circling it a time before falling out. "Damnit!" He cursed as Olivia dashed for the basketball and easily retrieved it. She dribbled it back up the court, trying to avoid Elliot, though ending back up in their normal position. His arms swinging around both sides of her as she hugged the ball as close to her as possible. Just when she thought he had her trapped, an idea came to her. Transferring the ball to her right arm, she suddenly cried out.

"My knee!" She moaned, pretending to grab her leg in pain. Elliot immediately jumped back, trying to be mindful of her injury.

"What happened?" Just as he was about to lean in to examine it closer, Olivia whipped around and raced towards the basketball hoop. Once there, she jumped up and effortlessly tossed the ball through the net, scoring her winning basket as Elliot stood back in a daze. When Elliot had finally found his voice, she turned to face him, a huge smile on her face.

"21 to 18!" She gleefully announced, clapping her hands together. "I win!"

Elliot gasped, his mouth hanging open as he realized what just happened. "You cheater, you played me! There was nothing wrong with your knee!"

"Resourceful tactics," she grinned, walking back towards him. "No rules against it. We walk home." He opened his mouth to debate, but felt it snap shut as he saw Olivia's face glow with her smile. As she came in arm's length of him, Elliot quickly snatched her up in his arms like he'd done so many times before to carry her. Olivia cried out in surprise as she was literally swept off her feet. "What are you doing?" She met his grin with alarm in her eyes as she held onto his arm for fear he'd drop her.

"Part of the bet. If you win I carry you home," he shrugged, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

"I wasn't serious!" Skepticism flashed over her face as she tensed in his arms. Apparently, she wasn't as trusting awake as she was asleep. "Put me down!"

"Now where's the fun in that?" He used her own argument against her as he resisted her wishes.

"Stabler, I swear, if you drop me…" She left her cautionary voice fade out, allowing for him to fill in the blank. Her worried eyes scanned him over.

"Liv," Elliot dropped his voice to a whisper as he locked his eyes onto hers. "Do you seriously think I'd let you fall? Is that how little you trust me?"

Olivia instantly felt horrible as she watched his blue eyes fill up with hurt. She had just begun racking her brain for something to say when she felt Elliot tenderly set her feet back on the ground, letting her steady herself before he pulled his hand away from her back.

"Elliot, of course I trust you." Olivia spun around and grabbed his head between her hands. Gently pulling down so that his head was level with hers, she pressed her lips against his, locking them in a kiss. Once they finally broke apart, a happily surprised expression settled on Elliot's face.

"Wow," he remarked with a grin, snaking his arms around her waist and hugging her close. "You really know how to cheer a guy up." Olivia laughed, resting her hands against Elliot's arms.

"Tell you what," she suggested, pulling out of Elliot's grip and grabbing one of his hands. "Since I did trick you, we'll catch a taxi home." She proceeded in yanking him towards the street. "But just this once," she warned, holding a finger up.

Relief flooded Elliot's face as he obediently followed Olivia, his arm stretched out with hers. "Have I mentioned how much I love you right now?" She just laughed again as they continued walking.


	13. Scoundrels Are Discovered In A Day

As always, thanks for the reviews! Now, what's a good story without angst? That being said, this chapter is mostly angst-y andshort on the EO. And trust me, the thing with Casey isn't just some pointless filler, it will all make sense within the next few chapters. The beginning of this chapter is concerning Olivia talking to Casey about the Reid trial (Remember the last chapter?), just so I don't totally confuse you.

And I definately have to give a huge shout-out to my now official beta reader, Stephanie (a.k.a. frizzyhead), who is so cool for proofreading my chapters, me being the grammar freak I am. ;) Thanks again girl! (I also changed the 'angry' 'perturbed'thing.)

**For Time, And Time Alone, Will Show The Just Man, Though Scoundrels Are Discovered In A Day**

As Casey sat at her office desk and prepared for tomorrow's trial against Greg Reid, she heard her intercom system beep. She picked up the phone on her desk and held it up to her ear. "Hello, Novak."

"Miss Novak, there's a Mr. Joseph Myers here to see you." Casey recognized the voice on the other end as belonging to the front desk attendant.

"Joey?" She repeated as if she'd heard wrong, her brows furrowing in slight confusion. "What about?"

There was a brief pause before she answered. "He says it's personal."

"All right, send him up."

"Of course, Miss Novak." Casey couldn't help but roll her eyes at the formal response. She'd made numerous attempts to befriend the woman, but she kept mainly to herself.

"Thanks," she simply responded, cradling the mouthpiece of the phone in her hand for a moment before thoughtfully placing it back against the receiver. She knew who Joseph Myers was, but she had no idea what he'd want to see her about, unless of course he was interested in trying to revive their relationship again.

Back when Casey had just started working as the ADA for the Special Victims Unit, the detectives had gathered more than ample evidence connecting a man to the rape of three different women. After arresting him, Myers had been the state-hired lawyer sent to represent the guy.

Joseph was around Casey's age, but had just broken into the world of criminal defense, leaving him unmatched against her experience. She had tried to offer his client a deal, the end result being a total of fifty years at Riker's, but he'd been naïve enough to believe that he could have the case dismissed in court because of a legal technicality. When the judge absolutely refused his claim, he was forced to go to court. After only an hour of deliberating, as Casey liked to brag, the jury came back with the indictment: guilty on all charges.

Afterwards, Joseph had invited Casey out for a drink and they instantly clicked. They went out a few times again, though it never really turned into anything serious aside from a few good-night kisses before they decided to break it off. The two were still friends, running into each other every now and then when working on cases, but he never came to her office like this.

Just as she began coming up with reasons for his visit, Casey heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she called, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs underneath her desk. "Joey!" A warm smile settled on her face as she watched him enter her office and close the door behind him. He looked just as she remembered him, shaggy brown hair cut just above his ears, big hazel eyes, black suit, and drop dead gorgeous. She motioned for him to pull up a chair.

"Now come on Case," he grinned back as he spoke with the low, soothing voice that easily captivated anyone's attention, lowering himself into one of the wooden chairs across from her. "You know I hate being called that."

"And you know I hate being called Case." She folded her arms and watched him with an inquisitive stare. "What are you doing here?"

"You were never one to beat around the bush," he chuckled, adjusting the collar of his blazer. "So I suppose I'll get straight to the point. I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight?" He bit his bottom lip and flashed her a hopeful smile.

"Tonight?" Casey set both her feet on the ground and moved closer to her desk in a more inviting stance. "Kind of short notice, wouldn't you say? And you could have just called, you didn't need to come all the way down here."

"Well," he shrugged and enticingly moved forward in his chair, "I've found that I'm much harder to say 'no' to in person." When Casey only met his gaze with a hesitant pause, he became serious. "And I'll be perfectly honest. Casey," he locked eyes with her, "I've missed you. I've always felt like I could talk to you about anything and you'd understand. I miss that. I miss _us._"

"Joey-" Casey began to argue when he interrupted her.

"If you're going to turn me down, at least have the decency to call me Joe," he joked, giving a small smile in the face of rejection.

"Joe," Casey corrected herself, meeting his eyes. "There was never an 'us,' you know that. We tried, but we agreed that there too many things coming between us for a real relationship. With work and everything…" She shook her head and faded off. It was with Joe's statements that she now recalled how much he resisted against breaking things off a year ago.

"That's just it," he insisted, almost falling from his chair as he sat as close on the edge as possible, just to be closer to Casey. "I want there to be an us. Come on Casey, we're compatible and you know it." A sneaky grin suddenly crossed his face. "What about the time I took you to that karaoke bar? Tell me you didn't have a great time there," he dared her.

Casey shook her head and smiled as her cheeks began to flush, remembering the night to which he was referring. "I thought we agreed never to bring that up."

"Actually, I thought our rendition of 'I Got You Babe' was quite good," he commented with slight sarcasm. "I think a few people even complimented us afterwards. And I seem to recall you even singing a Britney Spears song." He raised an inquiring eyebrow as he folded his arms.

"I was drunk out of my mind," she insisted with a laugh. "I didn't even know what I was doing. And bringing that up isn't exactly a great way to charm a girl over."

"Look," he sighed, as if turning to a last resort. "Just have dinner with me tonight and we'll see where we stand after that. If you never want to see me again, fine, but at least give me a _chance_ to change your mind." He pouted out his bottom lip slightly and blinked his eyelids up and down in a begging fashion. "Please?"

Casey thought for a moment before her shoulders fell with a sigh. "All right," she finally yielded, giving into his request. As his face lit up, she held a finger in the air to silence him. "But I'm only promising one date," she started in a professional, serious tone before a grin crossed her face, "and no karaoke bars."

"I don't think that'll be a problem," he laughed, settling back into the chair in satisfaction. "What time should I pick you up?"

Casey glanced down at her open planner, checking over any appointments or possible conflicts. When she found none, she thoughtfully looked at the clock on the wall before moving her vision back to Joe. "I've got a lot of paperwork left to do on a trial for tomorrow, so I'll probably be here awhile, at least until eight." Her eyes drifted away as she mentally mapped out a schedule. "Then I have to go home and get changed…"

"What's wrong with what you have on?" Joe interrupted her, discreetly craning his neck forward so that he could look Casey up and down behind the desk.

Casey looked her outfit over, a navy blue skirt with matching blazer, a white blouse underneath it, and plain black pumps, not exactly the best 'date' attire in her opinion. When she went to explain, Joe spoke first. "You look beautiful in anything Casey." He rose to his feet, habitually smoothing out the bottom of his jacket. "I'll pick you up here at eight, how's that?"

Staring into his deep eyes, she was again seduced by his charms and good looks, the only reason she agreed to a drink a year ago. "Sound's great," she smiled, propping her elbow against the edge of the desk.

"It's a date then," he winked suggestively before sauntering back towards the front door. "See you tonight." Joe flashed another grin before slipping outside and closing the door behind him.

Casey couldn't help but grin happily as she stared at the closed door, surprising herself as she was already looking forward to tonight. Going back over his invitation in her head, she couldn't believe she'd actually broken up with such a guy.

A sudden knock at the door quickly pulled her from her thoughts. Caught somewhat off guard, she clumsily cleared her throat and tried not to stumble over her words. "Come in!" The door opened again, Olivia appearing behind it. Casey had almost forgotten that she still had to prep the detective for the trial. Olivia was an old pro at testifying in court, but there were still traps even the best witness could get backed into by the defense.

By the big, girlish grin on Olivia's face as she entered the office, Casey knew that she had run into Joe outside. She and Liv went out for drinks every now and then, just to talk and hang out, so Casey had naturally told her about Joe.

"You saw him, didn't you?"

Keeping her grin, Olivia nodded and took the same seat that Joe had sat in. "So what was Joey doing here?"

Deciding against the truth, Casey quickly fabricated a story. "He was working on this case and he needed my advice on something…"

"And you're going back out with him, aren't you?" The knowing smirk on her face saw right through her.

"That obvious?" She laughed, flipping through a pile of loose-leaf papers on her desk. "So what if I am?"

"Hey," Olivia defensively held her hands up as she crossed one knee over the other. "Go ahead. Besides, I told you, you were crazy for dumping someone so cute in the first place."

"I didn't 'dump' him," Casey insisted. "We were both busy with our careers and it was a mutual decision."

"_Right_," Olivia agreed sarcastically, nodding her head. "That's why you practically had to pry him off of you with a crow bar."

"Okay," Casey announced, her face starting to blush with Olivia's comments, "I think this conversation has officially gone too far."

"Just one more question," Olivia laughed, too curious to allow the subject to drop at that. "How long have you been dating him again?"

Casey sighed, sensing an interrogation coming on. "I haven't. He just asked me out today and I'm having dinner with him tonight."

"Well then I guess we should get started so you don't miss your date." Olivia shifted into professional mode, straightening her back against the chair. She tried to hide the hesitance in her voice as she cleared her throat and spoke again. "Casey, are you sure I'm the best person to testify in this case?" Her eyes flashed with doubt as she locked her unsure vision on the ADA.

"Didn't Fin and John explain it?" Casey answered nonchalantly, searching among the scattered papers on her desk and not meeting Olivia's stare.

"Yeah, I know you have to establish her behavior, but I still don't think I'm the best person to do it. Elliot was watching when I took her statement, so he could testify instead." She waveringly suggested, shrugging her shoulders and crossing her arms.

Casey suddenly stopped shuffling around things on her desk and glanced up, puzzlement on her expression as she tried to meet Olivia's shifty eyes. It took her a moment of contemplation before she slightly nodded in understanding. "You're worried about what happened when you were questioning Greg Reid?"

Olivia's eyes narrowed in mystification and surprise as her arms fell into her lap. "How did you know about that?"

"You detectives are all wired the same way," Casey smiled, resting her hands against the top of her desk. "Cragen told me about it when I said I needed you to testify. He was concerned about it hurting your credibility too."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at the tone in her voice. "So it's not going to?"

"No." She shook her head reassuringly. "That happened after you took Emma's statement, so it really doesn't have anything to do with the questions I'll be asking you. If the defense does bring it up, we can dismiss it as self-defense." Casey shrugged with the slightest hint of a grin on her face. She'd spoken with Reid in lock-up and taken a disliking to him immediately. As far as she was concerned, a few injuries could easily be looked over by any jury that she put him in front of.

"I bruised his ribs," Olivia plainly pointed out. "What lawyer wouldn't eat that up?"

"One with half a brain," Casey answered smugly. "If they bring it into evidence, then I'll be able use it to show his disregard and lack of respect for women, and inability to control his sexual impulses. No lawyer would risk the trial by doing that."

A smile crept onto Olivia's face as well as she thought about Casey's reasoning. "Screwing over the perp," she translated in amusement. "Sometimes I like the law."

--XXX--

"Where is she?" Casey nervously tapped the toe of her heels against the linoleum. Pushing up her sleeve with her free hand, she caught sight of her wristwatch. "The trial's going to start any minute!" She was standing in the hallway that filed into the courtroom along with Elliot and John. There were only a few minutes until the trial was scheduled to start and Olivia was still unaccounted for.

"It's Liv," Elliot tried to soothe her nerves as he reasoned, "she'll be here."

Casey ignored him and flipped her phone out of her briefcase. "There is no way I'm going to trial without my star witness, the defense will have a field day!" She moved her briefcase to one hand and brought the cell phone to her ear with the other, having already dialed Olivia's cell number. While it began to ring, she moved away from the detectives and the rest of the people gathering in the hall.

"I think _somebody_ had a little too much coffee this morning," John remarked, shooting a telling glance towards the tense ADA.

"She'll be fine as soon as Olivia gets here." Elliot answered, throwing his own anxious glance at the huge clock on the wall. "_If_ she gets here," he mumbled under his breath.

"Speaking of defense, there's the scum bag's bottom-feeding state attorney now." John nodded his head towards a man walking towards them, surrounded by an entourage of press members. Elliot rolled his eyes at John's descriptive aliases for Reid and his lawyer. He always seemed to have some grudge or unresolved issue with the defense in any case. As the crowd made their way past them, Elliot recognized the man.

"I've seen him before…" His eyebrows furrowed in thought as he tried to put the face to a name. "Hey Casey, didn't you used to date him?"

"What?" Casey snapped her phone shut and turned to walk back towards them. "Who?"

"Reid's attorney." Her gaze followed Elliot's outstretched finger to the man he was referring to. As soon as she saw his face clearly, Casey's mouth fell open and she looked slightly nauseous and pale. Elliot and John exchanged puzzled glances to each other out of the corner of their eyes. "Casey? Are you okay?"

"Joe, Joe Myers," she whispered, watching as he disappeared into the courtroom.

"Who?"

Casey shook her head and coughed, finding her voice. "Joe Myers," she spoke professionally, hiding her disbelief and shock. "He's a state-hired criminal defense lawyer. Yeah, I dated him a year ago, nothing serious," she pretended to shrug it off, but deep inside it was still consuming her thoughts.

Casey was still dumbfounded by the entire situation. She had absolutely no idea that Joe was representing Reid. If she had, she never would have gone out with him last night. Not only was it a conflict of interest and greatly frowned upon by her bosses, but it was a completely idiotic business move. She could have easily let something about the case slip, giving him a great opportunity to find the core of her plan and destroy it.

She couldn't believe Joe had never told her that he was defending Reid. The case of Emma MacGuire was highly publicized in the press and media, making the probability that Joe didn't know she was prosecuting it very unlikely. So he'd gone out with her knowing this, and probably in it to find out what she had prepared for the trial. It all made sense, he hadn't asked her out because he 'missed her,' he just wanted a preview of today.

Casey's first reaction was to march up to the judge and demand that the state assign a new lawyer for Greg, but she quickly realized that it wasn't an option. If she did, she'd have to give a reason. What kind of attorney would she look like if she admitted that the day before such a huge case, she had no idea whom the defense was? She'd be laughed from her position at best. So there her options were, either admit her ridiculous mistake, or go in and try the case, praying she didn't give him any smoking guns on her prosecution. Casey opted for the latter, trying to hide her anger from the detectives.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Olivia suddenly appeared next to John, an apologetic expression on her face. "Are we ready?" She glanced from John, to Elliot, and to Casey, her vision resting on the ADA in concern. "Casey, something wrong?" She set her hand on her shoulder, pulling Casey from her dazed state.

"No, I'm fine." She shrugged her hand off and looked towards the courtroom doors. "Let's go."

--XXX--

An hour and a half or so later, after opening arguments and playing the statement of Emma MacGuire, Casey stood up from her table to call her first witness. The courtroom was a buzz, even more so than usual considering how high profile the case had become. A wonderful, charitable, straight-A student with a sob story past committing suicide after being raped was just the kind of story reporters lived for. If a poll was taken, Casey was sure half of the people present were reporters, journalists, and other press members, not even including the many waiting outside for the verdict.

"Your Honor, I call Detective Olivia Benson to the stand." She stared at the familiar judge, Lena Petrovsky, and waited for the detective to make her way to the witness box.

Sitting towards the front of the spectator benches, Olivia was only slightly aware of her named being spoken. She couldn't explain it, but she had this impending doom feeling lingering over her. After Casey's reassurance yesterday, she shouldn't have felt so susceptible and exposed, but she did, almost like this trial was about her. Luckily, Casey and the guys had, by some miracle, made it so that Olivia would never have to testify against her rapist in open court.

In the days after her attack, Olivia had always, in the back of her mind, been concerned about a trial. It wasn't facing the bastard that disquieted her, that she _knew_ she could do, but facing the press. In her experience, they were nothing but scum, always looking to get a story and never minding whose lives they destroyed in the process. She didn't even want to think about the repercussions if anyone found out about her attack.

Ignoring her impulses, she drew a deep breath of air into her lungs and nervously held it for a moment. Just as she was about to stand Olivia felt a hand slip over hers and reassuringly squeeze her palm. Glancing up, she realized the hand belonged to Elliot, who was subtly watching her from the corner of his eye. When he knew she was looking at him, Elliot winked as a tiny smile crossed his lips.

Olivia instantly felt relaxed as stood and confidently made her way to the stand. Once Olivia was settled, Casey began questioning her. "Detective Benson," Casey carefully walked around the table, folding her hands against her lap as she stood to the side of the jury box. "How long have you worked in the Special Victims Unit?"

Calmly and professionally, Olivia looked at Casey and gave her short, direct answers. "About seven years."

"And in that time, how many rape victims would you say you've seen?" Casey tediously began pacing back and forth in front of the witness box and jury, taking about two steps for every sentence she spoke.

"I can't be absolutely sure, but it's easily in the upper hundreds, possibly thousands."

"And while you were in the police academy, you were taught to recognize the signs of rape victims and victims of other traumatic events, correct?"

"Yes, mainly RTS and PTSD." Olivia clasped her hand together and set them in her lap.

"And what is that?"

"They stand for Rape Trauma Syndrome and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Tell me Detective, what are some of the common symptoms of RTS?"

"Symptoms are normally unique to the situation of the victim, depending on the attack, but there are pretty common ones. The individual may be jumpy or easily startled, they have poor concentration, if they're in school they suffer lowered grades because of that, they could have a fear of being alone or either being around people, just not feeling well in general, and depression."

"All right." Casey nodded and glanced over the jury for a moment before asking another question. "Now, keeping that in mind," she spoke to the jury, "you were originally the detective working on Emma MacGuire's case, were you not?"

"Yes, I was. I spoke to her in the hospital and I took her statement."

"Why was Emma in the hospital?"

"She was shot in the stomach." Olivia glanced over at the defense table to see Reid smirking as she mentioned that. "She said by the same man who raped her," she quickly added.

"Objection, your Honor!" Myers placidly stood, more for dramatic effect than anything, his chair scrapping against the floor as he pushed it back. "There were never formal charges of this shooting brought against my client," he arrogantly announced. "So unless the prosecution plans on doing so, I ask that the witness's last statement be stricken from the record."

"Sustained," Judge Petrovsky sighed, glancing over to meet Olivia's gaze. "Detective Benson, I'll ask that you try to keep that out of your responses, and the jury will disregard her last statement." She turned back to Casey. "Miss Novak, you may continue."

"Thank you your Honor," Casey attempted to be sincere and polite as she tried to keep herself from sending a death glare to Myers. "Detective Benson, considering all your training and experience with RTS, and the fact that you spent so much time around Emma MacGuire, would you describe her behavior as that of a rape victim's?"

"Yes, based on that I would."

"How so?"

"When I first saw Emma in the hospital, I was with my partner Detective Stabler. I went into the room first and he followed, standing behind a curtain. As soon as he stepped out, Emma jumped back in terror and froze. She wouldn't relax and refused to talk until Detective Stabler left, common of women RTS victims."

"And after he left, did you proceed to question Emma?"

"I did, and she told me that she was… attacked." Olivia worded her sentence to obey Judge Petrovsky's order. "Then she told me that she had been raped."

"In your professional opinion, was she telling the truth?" Casey was basically rewording the same question over and over again, just to drive the point of Olivia's testimony home.

"In my opinion, yes. She was a straight-A student, lots of friends, very involved in the community, and from a good home. Emma had no reason to lie."

"Thank you Detective Benson, that's all." Casey politely nodded and took her seat again.

"Miss Benson," Myers began in a condescending tone as he copied Casey's motions, walking towards the witness box. "As the prosecution has made very evident, it's your opinion that Emma was raped, correct?" He stood directly in front of her with his hands in his pockets, slightly turned so that he could look over towards the jury.

"Yes."

"Now, is that your neutral, unbiased, completely objective assumption?"

Olivia paused, raising an eyebrow at the question. However suspicious of it, she hesitantly answered. "Yes," she repeated.

"So you're saying that you are completely objective in your conclusion, despite the fact that a week before, you yourself were raped?"

Olivia's mouth hit the floor as she made sure she hadn't heard wrong. The chattering starting up in the courtroom assured her that she hadn't. She stared forward at Casey in shock, not uttering a word.

"Objection!" Right as the question left Myers mouth, Casey shot to her feet and practically screamed at the Judge.

"Order!" Petrovsky slammed a gavel against her desk as she tried to quiet the room. "Everyone, quiet!" Once the buzz had settled into silence, she beckoned Casey and Myers towards her. "Counsel, approach the bench."

Audaciously and with a huge, proud smile, Myers sauntered towards the bench, taking his time. Casey made in there twice as fast, the first to jump. "Judge, this is preposterous! Detective Benson's personal life is none of this court's business. It has nothing to do with her credibility in deciphering a victim's behavior and shouldn't have even been brought up!" Not only was she furious as hell, she was stunned that he'd somehow found out. Casey had sealed all the public records on the case, practically burying Olivia's attack within the system.

"Mr. Myers, I'm inclined to agree." Judge Petrovsky seemed just as appalled as she glared at Myers. She had been the judge overlooking the plea bargain Casey had made with Olivia's attacker, so this wasn't the first time she'd heard of it. She also greatly understood the lengths Casey went to keep the matter private and out of the courtroom. "I find it repulsive and deplorable that you would try to throw a respectable person as Detective Benson through the dirt just to make your case. Miss Novak's objection is sustained and I suggest you, Mr. Myers, hurry up in your questioning and keep it away from the Detective's personal life or you _will_ regret it," she threateningly assured him. "Continue."

Though Casey had won the objection, it was a hollow victory. Heading back towards her table, she looked over at Olivia. The detective's mouth was gaping open in shock and her face had lost all color. She looked a few seconds from tears, and Casey couldn't blame her. Her secret was out, and now everybody knew.

--XXX--

"I can't believe this," Olivia whispered in anger and disbelief, running her hands over her face and through her hair as she stood next to Elliot in the middle of the courtroom, the trial just having been recessed. "How in the hell did he find out?" She glanced up at her partner with an expectant gaze, searching for some answer.

"I don't know," he shrugged, in a daze and just as lost as her. "Casey said the files were sealed so no one could get to them." Olivia, Elliot, John, and a few other courtroom staff members were the only ones still in the room.

"Yeah, well, a lot of good that did," she snapped bitterly, crossing her arms and miserably looking away. "Do you have any idea how many reporters were in here and heard that? Who knows what the hell they're going to do now!"

"Liv…" Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to make it appear as platonic as possible. She was angry, with absolutely every right to be, but it wouldn't do her any good right now. "Let's just go. Cragen'll probably give you the day off, you can just go home and rest." Too depleted of energy to argue, Olivia just hung her head down, cupping her forehead in her hand as she tried to compose herself.

Elliot wanted so badly just to reach out and wrap his arms around her, reassure her, but he knew he couldn't, and it killed him. Instead, he settled for reaching his arm behind her and turning her towards the courtroom doors.

As they started walking, John quietly saw the anguish and longing in Elliot's eyes as he kept a light touch on Olivia's shoulder. He could almost sense exactly what Elliot was feeling. It was tormenting them to watch someone they cared about so much go through this and not be able to protect her.

John suddenly felt his fists subconsciously clench in rage. He took a deep breath and carefully relaxed them. He was just so perturbed by all of this. Olivia had already been forced to overcome so much in her life; she didn't deserve any more pain. Every time she finally seemed content and happy, why did some new horror always have to arise? She had more than earned a life of happiness, so why was she constantly denied it? John could only powerlessly shake his head, unable to grasp the logic of the world.

As Elliot arrived in front of the courtroom doors, he pushed one open and they were immediately inundated by a sea of flashing lights and cameras and tape recorders being shoved in Olivia's face as people started shouting at her.

"Detective Benson, were you really attacked?" "What can you tell us about the man that raped you?" "Have the police identified your attacker?" "Did you know the man?" "Was it one of your cases gone bad?" "How has it affected your job?"

Olivia just helplessly froze, squinting her eyes shut as she covered her face with her hands. Seeing her distress, Elliot and John shot each other a glance and quickly moved in to protect her.

"We have no comment at this time!" Elliot shouted the standard phrase repeatedly, stepping between Olivia and the wave of reporters, doing his best to cover her from the lenses and flashing bulbs. He awkwardly shoved through the bodies in front of him, clearing a path towards the front of the courthouse.

"No comment!" Munch screamed the same, flanking Olivia as he irately resisted the urge to reach out and randomly punch the crowd.

Olivia just kept her head down and remained silent as she tried to hold her tears back. This was just as she'd imagined it, with the worst yet to come.

The three detectives could only keep their defenses up as they fought towards the front of the building. After about five minutes, they were finally able to duck into a squad car, leaving the cameras and reporters on the street in front of the courthouse as they drove off.


	14. Could You Please Respect My Privacy?

In times like these, I find it best not to further incriminate myself and simply proceed to the update. ;) - Thanks for the reviews and I feel horrible it's taken me so long to update! Never this long again, I promise, hopefully...

-And I'm sorry to Stephanie for posting this before I got her reply about the chapter! I have no will power or patience, I'm sorry! Please don't hate me. :'(

**I Would Love It If You Take The Cameras Off Of Me. Could You Please Respect My Privacy?**

"Liv, really, go home. Take some time off, everyone will understand." Elliot gently tried to push Olivia into going home as they entered the precinct and started walking up to the squad room.

"And do what?" She demanded, only quickening her pace. "Prove to them that I really can't do my job? Not happening." She stubbornly shook her head and pulled her jacket tighter around her stomach.

"You don't have to prove anything to anyone, Liv." Elliot grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to the side of the hallway. She just sighed and glanced away, refusing to meet his gaze as she crossed her arms against her chest. He set his hands on the side of her shoulders and tried to catch her eye as he lowered his voice. "You're a great cop, Olivia, and anyone who matters knows it." Olivia turned her head to face him, frustrated tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. "No one will think any less of you if you lay low for the next few days."

"Yeah," she shrugged tearfully, searching his gaze. "At least not until they turn on the news and see 'Cop Raped' splashed across the screen." Leaving those as her final words, she pulled out of his touch and continued to the squad room.

--XXX--

"We have no comment at this time. No, I'm sorry, Detective Benson is not available for questioning." Olivia found Cragen standing in the middle of the squad room, hanging up a phone on one of the desks. Hearing her footsteps, he glanced up. "What the hell happened?" He asked in bewilderment, turning to see Elliot enter the room as well.

"I'd love to know if you find out," Olivia snapped, sitting down at her desk. She propped her elbow against the arm of the chair and rested the side of her head on her open palm. Elliot stood in the doorway, a worried look on his face as he watched his partner.

"Elliot." Cragen spoke softly, drawing Elliot's attention towards him. In a silent wave, he motioned for the detective to follow him into his office. He hesitated, shooting another glance at his oblivious partner before reluctantly entering the room. Once they were inside, Cragen gently shut the door. He slipped his hands into his pocket and studied Elliot, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "You want to tell me what happened?"

"Other than that bastard telling the world Olivia was raped, not much!" Elliot fumed, pacing back and forth in the small area between Cragen's desk and the wall. He was trying to ease out some of his frustration so that it didn't show when he went back into the squad room. Knowing Olivia, she probably had enough anger in her for the both of them.

"Yeah." Cragen sensitively half-agreed, approaching the subject like a minefield, wary of anything that would set Elliot off. "I've gathered that much from the rumors and phone calls from the press." By the unchanged expression on his face, the Captain knew that Elliot had been expecting as much. "I'm talking specifics," he urged on. "Who found out?"

Feeling his fury begin to soften, Elliot stopped in the middle of the sixth circle he was about to make with his strides. He inhaled a deep breath for composure and met Cragen's gaze. "Reid's attorney, Joseph Myers." His voice was soft so that he could be absolutely sure no information traveled through the walls and went astray, as if it would be a secret much longer. "Olivia was testifying about Emma's behavior. Myers brought Olivia's rape up to try and destroy her credibility."

Upon hearing this, Cragen instantly rationalized Elliot's demeanor. His features hardened as he fully grasped the severity of the situation. If some rookie journalist or reporter had merely uncovered it, it would be easy to sweep it under the rug and ignore. However, a lawyer announcing it in court was something no one would be quick to overlook. "How in the hell did _he_ find out?" Though Elliot and Olivia had made it evident that they were just as unaware, Cragen's sudden animosity transcended his logic.

"That's what I want to know," Elliot shrugged, folding one arm over the other and positioning them against his chest. His eyes aimlessly scanned across the floor as he once more probed every corner of his mind for something informative he might have missed. When he came up with no more answers then he had before, he glanced back towards Cragen. He also appeared to be lost in reverie. "So what do we do now?"

Cragen just sighed, letting his shoulders fall as he slightly shook his head. "Major damage control." He idly made his way around the corner of his desk and lowered himself into his swivel chair. "I'm going to have to make some calls…" Cragen wearily ran his hand over the top of his bare head before meeting Elliot's stare. "I suppose Liv's not taking this too well."

"It's Liv," Elliot answered gravely, thinking back to the look of horror on Olivia's face in the courtroom. His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. "Having the world find out…" He diverted his eyes and somberly shook his head. "It's just another attack."

Cragen paused, mulling over Elliot's words. "Should we push this? Try to find out how he knew?"

"I think we should," he nodded hesitantly in agreement.

"All right, where's Novak?" Cragen pulled his chair forward, sliding his knees under the desk. Laying his elbow against the wood, he picked up the closest pen and starting scribbling on a piece of paper.

"Not here," he shrugged listlessly. "She ran off as soon as the trial was recessed. Went out the back way, we haven't seen her since."

--XXX--

As Olivia sat unmoving, her head hung towards the floor, she blocked out all the usual noise traveling around the squad room. She was still using every ounce of her will power to convince herself that this was all just a nightmare. To test her ability, she snapped her eyes shut with the unlikely hope that when they opened, she'd be back in her bed. After a minute, Olivia didn't even need to open her eyes to know that her desperate wishing had failed her. A quiet sigh parted her lips.

Suddenly, Olivia felt a hand grab her shoulder and yank her from her thoughts. Reflexes taking over, she jumped back and almost fell out of her chair. While she was steadying herself, a familiar voice spoke.

"Sorry Liv, I didn't mean to scare you." Olivia glanced up to see the only good thing that had come out of this whole situation staring down at her with a small, concerned smile.

"Hey El." She returned with a slight curl of her lip and a wearied expression, turning her attention to the top of her desk.

"I brought coffee." The Styrofoam cup abruptly appeared in front of her, the normally welcoming odor filling her nose. Now though, her stomach was inexplicably knotting up in queasiness, and the coffee only worsened it.

"Thanks." She sighed, taking it from his hand and setting it on the corner of her desk, as far away as possible.

"Your gratitude is overwhelming." Elliot joked with a sly grin as he attempted to cheer her up. The lack of response from Olivia and that fact that she still had her back to him suggested that it hadn't worked. "Liv…" He rested his fingertips on the very end of her shoulder and tenderly slid his hand to her collarbone. Caressing her skin with the palm of his hand, he began lightly massaging her neck. Feeling her extreme tension, he leaned forward and whispered. "What's wrong?"

Olivia lingered a moment before twisting around to meet Elliot's gaze with a dubious expression that he could easily read. _Are you serious?_

"Sorry." He impulsively furrowed his brows and just as quickly straightened them, hiding his slip-up with a sheepish smile. "Stupid question. You sure you're all right?" His eyes scanned over hers in fret.

"I'm fi-" Momentarily locking her eyes onto his, couldn't force herself to lie to him again. Her shoulders heaving in a sigh, she turned away. She slid her elbows onto the table and buried her face in her hands. "No," she finally admitted, "not great."

Elliot sucked in a deep breath, watching her with a despondent gaze. Knowing that any attempts to send her home would be futile, he could only reassuringly rub her back in small circles, gesturing that he was here for her.

All of a sudden, the shrill ring of Olivia's desk phone went off, making her flinch from Elliot's touch. Raising her head, she answered it with the most professional voice she could muster. "Detective Benson." After a minute of having her ear next to the phone, Elliot noticed Olivia's body tense up. "No!" She shrieked into the phone before slamming it back down on the receiver. Elliot didn't even need verification to know that it had been another probing reporter. As he moved both of his hands on her shoulders, Olivia slowly rose to her feet.

"What is it?" He lost his grip on her as she rotated towards him, a depressed hollowness in her eyes.

"I think I'm gonna go home." Glancing down, she jerked her coat off of the back of her chair and slipped her arms through the sleeves. She adjusted the collar neatly down and flipped her head back, getting the hair out of her face.

"Are you feeling okay?" Elliot reached his hand up to gently graze her cheek in concern, noticing that she seemed pale.

"I'm all right." Olivia turned her head to the side and met his gaze. "My stomach's bothering me a little, it's nothing."

"Okay." Elliot watched on with a smile as his partner gathered up the case file she'd been working on. Nothing could keep such a dedicated woman away from her job, even a stomach bug. "Call me if you need anything."

"'Kay," she sighed, shifting around the papers in her arms. Just as Olivia was about to leave, Elliot set his hand over hers and drew her gaze upwards.

"I'll stop by your apartment after work, check up on you," he offered in a whisper. "Want me to bring you anything?"

A grin crossed Olivia's face, slightly brightening her dulled features. She stepped forward and moved her head next to Elliot's. "Just you," she murmured, softly brushing her lips against his cheek as she pulled away.

--XXX--

Elliot stood in front of Olivia's apartment door, juggling the box of crackers and bottle of ginger ale in one arm while he reached the other up to knock. It only took one tap of his knuckles before the door flew open. "Hey-" Before he could finish, he found himself being yanked into the apartment by his free arm. Just as he was about to pitch forward, he felt Olivia's familiar form press up against him.

"What took you so long?" Olivia's arms were wrapped around his waist and the side of her head rested on his chest. She donned a plain white t-shirt and light gray sweatpants.

Holding the groceries with one hand, he curled his other arm over her back with a surprised grin. "What?"

"I asked what took you so long," she repeated, keeping her hold on Elliot as she glanced up.

"Wait…" Elliot's eyes narrowed in confusion as he searched Olivia's face. "You mean you actually wanted me here?"

"Yeah…" She caught his eyes and slightly pulled back, puzzled by his question.

"Do you realize that that's probably the first time you've ever let me in your apartment with open arms and without me pushing?" He raised a playful eyebrow, patiently tapping his fingertips against the small of her back.

Olivia slightly blushed at his joke, quickly seeing the truth in his words. "Shut up, Stabler," she said defensively, a grin curling her lips.

"Now is that anyway to talk to someone who stopped at two different gas stations to find these?" He produced the ginger ale and box of crackers in his arm, reaching them out towards her.

She followed his stare downwards, her smile widening as her eyes settled on the two items. "Crackers and ginger ale." She grabbed the plastic 20-ounce bottle by the neck in one hand and the saltine crackers in her other. After reading the labels, she turned her back to Elliot and made her way to the cupboards in the kitchen area. "My hero," she grinned, finding a glass amongst the random plates and dishes and setting it on the counter.

"Stomach still not feeling well?" Elliot walked up behind Olivia and slid his arms around her waist. His hands stopped to settle on her perfectly toned stomach and he positioned his chin on her left shoulder.

Olivia sighed, her shoulder held still by Elliot's weight as she transferred the clear, bubbling liquid from the bottle and into the glass. "No, not really." Twisting the cap back on, she maneuvered her head uncomfortably around so that she was able to see Elliot. She couldn't help but laugh at the boyish expression and lopsided, stupid grin he gave her. "You want something to drink?" She pointed to the refrigerator, only a few feet away.

Elliot's gaze never left Olivia's face as he quickly decided against anything that would result in breaking their pleasantly comfortable embrace. "I'll have what you're having."

Rolling her eyes with a grin, Olivia reached up and produced a glass identical to hers from the cupboard. Emptying the last half of the contents in the bottle, she tossed it to the side, making a mental note to throw it away later. "Two ginger ales, ready to go," she announced, picking up one in each hand. "You get the crackers." Bending over to the side, Olivia finally managed to shrug Elliot's head of off her shoulder.

Elliot obediently grabbed the box and followed Olivia into the living room area. He flopped down on the couch first, sitting on one end cushion while he stretched out legs over the other two.

"Scoot over," Olivia laughed, setting the glasses on the coffee table so that her hands were free to push his legs into the back of the seat. Once his feet were moved, she rolled onto the sofa, purposefully landing halfway on Elliot.

"Ow…" Almost instantly, she heard a moan from Elliot and felt him shift around underneath her.

"Don't you _even_," Olivia threateningly warned him, expecting some crack about her weight. Her legs were on the couch, but her waist up was resting against his chest, her head right below his.

"No, I think I sat on something." Elliot braced his right hand against the back of the couch as he lifted his hips up, moving Olivia with him. Holding both of their weights up, he shot out his hand beneath him. Sure enough, his fingers wrapped around something hard. Pulling his hand out, he saw it was a remote control. "Wanna watch TV?"

"Sure." Olivia leaned forward and snatched the box of crackers off of the table. She opened it and yanked out one of the sleeves. Holding one of them between her fingers, she waved it in front of Elliot's face. "Want one?"

"Sure." He accepted it and began thoughtfully chewing at it as he flipped the television set on. Skimming over the channels, he paused to glance down at the top of Olivia's head. "So, you think this counts as a second date?"

She stopped nibbling at her own cracker long enough to take a sip of her ginger ale. "Why not?" She shrugged. "Crackers and ginger ale, that's romance right there."

Elliot just smiled at her, turning back to the TV and looking through the guide. As the screen settled on a show title, he tuned to that channel. "Have you ever watched that show about cops and lawyers, each show they work on a different case?"

"Oh yeah, Peace and Justice, right? I've seen commercials, but I've never watched it. Kinda hard to find interest in watching something you see everyday."

"Oh, come on," Elliot tried to persuade her. "It's not life, it's TV. Besides, a lot of it is about the people too, not just the cases."

"All right, fine," Olivia pretended to sound annoyed. "I'll watch it… just for you." A contented smile crossed her face as she snuggled closer to Elliot. He returned the affection by wrapping his arm around her abdomen.

As the show started, soft, dramatic music began playing in the background. The scene opened, it revealed two teenagers walking down a city street, right towards a dead body. It then cut to the same scene, now surrounded by what Elliot and Olivia easily recognized as CSU. Then it showed two detectives, a male and female, walking around the street and discussing the case.

"Okay," Olivia pointed to the screen. "Look at that and tell me that's not what we do _every day_."

"So what if it is? At least we get to watch other people do the dirty work for once."

Olivia mulled that over for a minute before chuckling. "Good point."

After a few more minutes, the first commercial break came on. "See?" Elliot leaned forward to look at Olivia. "It's not that bad."

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I guess not. Aside from the fact that those detectives are completely blind."

"What?"

"The detectives are completely clueless! I mean, it's so obvious that it was the guy's wife. Her story's ridiculous, she has no alibi, they found lipstick on the shirt that matches hers… come on!"

"Okay detective," Elliot laughed at her little outburst. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like if they based a show around our precinct?"

"You mean about us, Cragen, John, and Fin?" She shook her head. "I don't see it. Who would want to watch a show all about our lives and the cases we work?"

"Why not? We're interesting."

"Yeah, anyone who finds my job interesting enough to watch a show on it seems like they'd be a little creepy to me. Besides, I'm no actress."

"But you'd be famous. The money, the glam, the paparazzi chasing you around…"

"No thanks," she smiled. "I'm perfectly happy _under_ the radar as it is." Just as she said that, Olivia's home phone started ringing. With an exasperated sigh, she got to her feet and shuffled across the room. "Benson," she answered it.

Elliot stayed back and watched as her expression suddenly hardened in anger. "Liv?" He worriedly pushed himself forward into a sitting position.

"No, I don't want to be interviewed for your paper," she snapped into the mouthpiece. Her eyes furiously narrowed as her grip dangerously tightened around the phone. The color drained from her face in pure rage. "No! I have no comment!" Her voice almost came out in a scream as she slammed the phone back onto the receiver. Her shaking hand still rested over it as her shoulders quickly rose and fell with each shallow breath she took.

"Liv..?" Elliot cautiously called her name. He'd never before seen such vehemence in her eyes, and it alarmed him. As he set his feet on the floor and stood up, the phone suddenly rang again.

Before Olivia even realized what she was doing, she'd grabbed the base of the phone receiver in both hands and forcefully brought it down against the edge of the end table. She wildly repeated the action again and again, each time smashing it with more strength and intensity as the last. After a few solid hits, the machine began crumbling in her hands, the ring reduced to a low, slowly dying-out moan.

"Liv! Liv!" Elliot ran to her, grasping her wrists in his hands to try and calm her movements. "Stop! Calm down!" He tightened his grip until her trembling hands finally released the phone. It let out one final low-pitched wail before finally falling silent. "Olivia?" Elliot bent forward so that he was eye level with her. Olivia's eyes were averted down, a dazed expression on her face as her body still slightly shook. "Liv?" He ineffectually tried to get her attention, still gripping her wrists. Instead of looking at him, she glanced towards the TV. Elliot silently followed her stare.

On the screen, a news show commercial quickly came on, showing an anchorman at his desk. The image abruptly changed, now showing footage of Olivia leaving the courtroom this morning as Elliot and John tried uselessly to conceal her face. "Tonight at nine," a male voice floated through the television speakers. "During the trial of the boy suspected of raping Emma MacGuire, one of New York's own detectives admits to being attacked. How it happened, where her rapist is now, and more, later this even-"

The screen flickered off as Elliot finally found the power button on the TV. Glancing back across the room at Olivia, he knew his actions were too late. She'd seen the entire thing. "Liv?" He took a carefully step forward, reaching out towards her.

Olivia blinked successively in shock, absolutely stunned as her eyes focused on Elliot. When he was only a few feet away, her emotion suddenly overcame her and she burst into tears. She buried her face in cupped hands and leaned forward, falling against Elliot as he ran towards her.

"Shh…" As she cried into his chest, Elliot placed one hand behind her back and the other held her head. "It's okay, Liv." He tried to reassure her as best he could, running his fingers over the back of her head. "It'll be all right."

"No, it's not!" She lamented, weakly punching his shoulder with her fist. "He took everything from me!" Sobs shook her body as she kept her face hidden in Elliot's shirt. "He took my life and now he's going to take my job too! I can't work if the whole city knows!"

Elliot just squeezed her closer against him and lowered his head so that her hair covered his face. He tried to fight back his own tears of pain for her and for his lack of control to make things better. "Don't worry, Liv." His voice cracked as he whispered in her ear. "He's not taking a thing from you. Tomorrow we'll talk to Cragen, you and me. We'll figure something out, Liv. I won't let him hurt you anymore." Elliot could only repeat his words of consolation over and over as he let Olivia's tears run dry into the material of his shirt.

_She does her best to hide  
The pain that she's been through  
When she cries at night  
And she doesn't think that I can hear her  
She tries to hide all the fear she feels inside  
So I pray this time  
I can be the man that she deserves  
'Cause I die a little each time  
When she cries  
She's always been there for me  
Whenever I've fallen  
When nobody else believes  
She'll be there by my side  
I don't know how she takes it  
Just once I'd like to make it  
Then there'll be tears of joy  
That fill her loving eyes  
When she cries at night  
And she doesn't think that I can hear her  
She tries to hide all the fear she feels inside  
So I pray this time  
I can be the man that she deserves  
'Cause I die a little each time  
When she cries  
So I pray this time  
I can be the man that she deserves  
'Cause I die a little each time  
When she cries_

--XXX--

After about fifteen minutes had passed, Olivia's sobs had finally subsided, leaving the embraced detectives standing in silence. Elliot's head rested on top of hers, his hands still occasionally running over her hair in a comforting motion. Once he was absolutely sure her tears had stopped, he broke the silence.

"You okay now?" His hand slipped down to her shoulder, stroking her cheek as it fell.

"Yeah…" She whispered halfheartedly, unmoving in his arms.

Elliot lifted his head up, kissing the top of Olivia's before standing back. "How's your stomach?" He laced his fingers through her hair, just above her ear, and pushed her head back so that he could see her face. Her glossy brown eyes locked onto his, saying more than she ever could.

"Better," she admitted, sounding surprised by the sudden change.

"Good." A genuine smile crossed his lips as he reached his thumb out to tenderly wipe away the tearstains under her eyes. "I figured it would."

"Why? Because I bawled like a baby?" She asked like she was ashamed of her actions because she was, yet again, unable to hold it together.

"Yes." At her puzzled expression, he clarified himself with an encouraging smile. "Because you can't hide your emotions, what you're feeling. If you keep it in, it'll eat you up until you explode." Olivia impulsively rolled her eyes and looked away, her reaction to anyone who told her to express her feelings. "Liv," Elliot grabbed her chin in his hand and pulled her face back to his. "I'm serious. I know I sound like Huang," he grinned, "but you don't have to hide your pain. I know you think it's unprofessional and vulnerable to show your emotions, but it's only human." Elliot lowered his hand and locked his gaze onto Olivia's. "Your compassion is part of what I love about you."

Olivia's eyes started misting again as a smile slightly curled the corners of her lips. "Thanks El." She leaned in and quickly gave him a peck on the lips. "I feel better."

"Then so do I," he agreed with a pleased grin. "What do you say we get back to our 'date'?"


	15. Fool Who Couldn't See Your Slippery Game

Thanks for the reviews everybody, and despite my incredible slowness in updating, could you keep it up? I love reviews. And a big apology to whoever compared my story to being addicted to.. crack, was it? Didn't mean to keep you jonesing. ;)

**Author's Warning -**This chapter may not be suitable for all audiences. I wouldn't rate it R (or M as this stupid new rating system makes me do), but it is kind of explicit and heavy. Read at own risk.

**Author's Note-**This chapter kinda makes the story seem like it's taking a 'series of misfortunate events' turn, but it's really not. Things'll get better after I tie up loose ends and things. And yes, OE fluff will be on its way, of course. ;)

**A Fool Who Could Not See Your Slippery Game**

"That is the last time you are sleeping over on a weekday," Olivia quietly hissed at Elliot as they pushed open the doors to the 16th precinct.

"Oh, come on." He stole a glance down at his wristwatch, narrowly avoiding another detective as they came to the elevators. "We're not even five minutes late." The two stepped inside the elevator, the doors abruptly closed behind them as Elliot reached out and pressed their floor number.

"Yeah." Olivia somewhat agreed, leaning her back against the hand railing that circled waist high around each wall. "But if we keep coming in late _and_ at the same time…" She raised an eyebrow as the elevator lurched to life and began rising up. "People will start talking."

A sly grin just crossed Elliot's face as he sauntered over in front of her. Alluringly picking his hand up, he braced his palm against the wall, right next to her head. "So, let them talk," he shrugged, casually leaning forward like he was going to kiss her.

Olivia rolled her eyes and brought up her hand to press against his chest, holding him back. "Down boy," she ordered, managing to hide her smile long enough to appear serious as she heard the ping of the elevator. Elliot face fell into a dejected frown as Olivia slipped around him and exited through the open doors.

"Damnit Munch!" Fin's irate yell was so loud that Olivia heard it from outside the squad room.

"Why is it always 'Damnit Munch'?" John's annoyed voice followed, prompting a roll of her eyes and a quiet laugh from Olivia. "Why not damnit Rodriguez?" As she walked in through the doorway, John glanced up from his desk and saw her. "Or damnit Benson?"

"'Cause only your sick mind could figure out how to make this sewer water!" Fin angrily jerked the mug in his hand forward at John, the brown liquid toppling over the rim and splattering the floor in small drops.

"Ah," Olivia tossed back her head in an understanding nod as she grinned and walked towards her desk. "Munch made coffee."

"That's debatable," Fin growled, quickly tossing on a new pot of brew that was untouched by John.

Olivia laughed as she changed her path towards John's desk, a paper on it catching her eye. "Hey," she nodded towards what she now saw to be a newspaper. "Whatca reading?" Taking a final step next to his chair, Olivia bent forward and turned her head in an attempt to read the partially hidden headline.

"What? Nothing." A hint of worry appeared in his voice and his movements became clumsy as he yanked the paper away and slid it under a heap of folders. John's strange behavior painfully obvious, Olivia raised her eyebrow and glanced up at Fin. He just shot her a blank stare and shrugged, turning his attention back to his coffee.

Olivia paused as a quick plan formulated in her mind to divert John's focus. Memorizing the location of the newspaper, she shouted out. "Hey John!" She excitedly pointed to the other side of him and towards the window a few feet away. "Doesn't that black van across the street have the letters CIA on the side?"

"What? Where?" He spun his chair around so that his eyes could easily dart around as he searched through the window for the non-existent vehicle. While he was preoccupied, Olivia dove for the shrouded paper and easily recovered it. "Hey!" From the corner of his eye, John saw Olivia and quickly jumped up to his feet. "No! Don't!" He frantically shot his arms out and grabbed only the air in his attempts to snatch it from her hands.

Olivia just grinned as she whipped around, turning her back to John. She cradled the paper against her chest, just out of his reach. When she was satisfied that he couldn't swipe it from her, she tilted it forward to read the title. "Now what doesn't John want me to see?" Olivia asked rhetorically as her eyes scanned over the print.

John's frantic motions to retrieve the paper stopped when he saw Olivia's face fall and in place of her grin appeared a look of dumbfounded shock. She remained speechless, her widened eyes never leaving the text. John's voice guiltily caught in his throat and he found himself at a loss for an explanation even if he could speak.

Fin quietly observed their reactions as he walked up next to John. He opened his mouth to fill in for his partner, but ultimately found himself following suit and remaining silent. Still stunned, Olivia managed to get enough feeling back in her legs to start walking back towards the exit, no real destination in mind.

After she disappeared down a hallway, Fin recalled the front page of the newspaper and felt a wave of anger wash over him. With nothing else to take it out on, he directed it at the closest responsible thing. He lifted his hand up and smacked his open palm against the back of John's head.

"Ow!" John's neck jerked forward and his hands flew up to protect the back of his head as he shot Fin a quizzical glare.

"Great job! Moron…" He gave an irritated sigh and shook his head at John in aggravation.

--XXX--

"Cop Attacked. Are our streets safe anymore?" Olivia had read and reread the headline so many times that the black letters and white paper were starting to swirl together. The title wasn't what bewildered her though. In fact, she was slightly grateful because she'd assumed that it would point a finger at her rapist and take the attention off of her. She couldn't have been more mislead.

The writer wasn't concerned about the protecting the public from Olivia's attacker; he was concerned about protecting the public from _her._ She quickly realized that just because a defense lawyer couldn't bring up with she'd done to Reid, it didn't mean that some rookie reporter couldn't have a field day with it.

The story was all about her "unstableness" and "short temper" after she was raped. They questioned whether or not she could keep it together, citing the injuries she'd given to Reid while questioning him. It reasoned that if she could just "randomly attack" a suspect like that, who was to say she wouldn't do the same to some civilian on the street? If that wasn't bad enough, they'd even gotten quotes from Reid, his lawyer, and other people that basically slandered her name and demanded that she be fired.

Suddenly, all the phone calls asking for interviews and requests from news stations to plaster her attack all over the TV didn't seem so offensive and intrusive. At least those would have portrayed her as a victim… instead of a victimizer. Olivia's jaw tightened as tried to blink her frustrated tears away.

She'd ducked into an empty interrogation room to escape the reproaching stares and whispered rumors she knew would be following her once her colleagues caught sight of the paper. Sitting on top of a table in the corner of the room, Olivia let out a rueful laugh as she bent forward and ran her fingers through her hair. She couldn't help but find a perverted amusement in the irony of her entire situation. To think, she'd actually assumed that being raped was the worst thing she'd have to deal with in all this.

When a knock at the closed door rudely yanked her from her thoughts, she knew the odds were two to one that Elliot was the cause of it. On the off chance he might just leave if she didn't answer, Olivia stayed silent and her stare remained focused on the door. She wasn't a bit surprised when the doorknob slowly began to twist open. Instead of Elliot, when the door opened she found her self face to face with Cragen. His expression was the same unreadable one he always had, with a slight frown and a furrowed brow.

"D'you catch the paper?" Olivia picked the newspaper up from her lap and tossed it onto the table set up between them. It landed in the center with a soft thud, the picture of Olivia that accompanied the story staring up at Cragen. He gave the paper a cursory glance before moving his glance back at her. "I guess I shouldn't be so shocked," she commented bitterly, momentarily averting her eyes down before looking up again with her next question. "Whatever it takes to sell a story, right? Even crap like that." She gave a nonchalant wave at the paper, trying to appear as if it didn't bother her as much as it really did.

"Not everyone thinks it's such crap." The tone in his voice instantly caught Olivia's attention, a mix of foreboding, anger, and regret. She'd heard it before and knew nothing good would follow it. Stifling her apprehension, she awkwardly cleared her throat and asked the inevitable.

"Who's everyone?" In the back of her mind she already had two plausible ideas of what his answer would be, but she pleaded that both were wrong.

"The Morris Commission and IAB." A lump caught in Olivia's throat as her guesses went two for two. She forced herself to swallow it and keep her face as blank as possible. While doing so, she stayed silent and waited for Cragen to continue. "An IAB investigation into your actions while questioning Greg Reid is pending." He slipped his free hand into his pant's pocket, the other occupied with a small piece of paper. "And the Morris Commission summoned me about that." Cragen nodded towards the newspaper.

"When is it?" She referred to the meeting, wondering how long she'd have to prepare before they called on her so that they could attack her and her actions. Ever since the mandatory psyche evaluations they were all given six years ago, the SVU detectives and the Morris Commission had been on shaky ground with each other.

"It _was_ this morning." He spoke deliberately, knowing full well that she'd be upset by the late discovery.

"Was?" Olivia swung her legs down and slid off of the table and onto her feet. She crossed her arms and studied him, aware that she'd heard him right. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice suddenly snarled, the accusing tone slightly catching Cragen off guard.

"You weren't summoned." He shrugged his shoulders, struggling to remain indifferent to the fierceness appearing in Olivia's eyes. Anticipating her next question, he quickly answered it. "And I was under order not to tell you about it. They didn't want you to 'interfere' with their decision."

"What decision?" She demanded in bewilderment, taking a few steps around the furniture and towards Cragen.

He locked eyes with her and gave a hesitant sigh before continuing. "About whether or not you should be able to keep your job."

"What!" Olivia's eyes widened in outraged bafflement as she felt her life being jerked around on a string, and all without her knowledge. "They're going to fire me because of… of…" she thrust her hand out, palm up, towards the newspaper, "that!"

"No." Cragen shook his head, remembering the paper in his hand with despondence. "They wanted to suspend you for a month or so, however long it takes for your story to work itself out of the press and public eye."

"A month?" Olivia suddenly lost her breath, like she'd been punched in the stomach. Her anger quickly turned to desperation as she pleaded with Cragen. "No!" She shook her head back and forth. "Captain, I can't be suspended over this! Anything else…" Her voice faded out at a loss for words.

"I managed to talk them down, but I had to make a deal. They refused to ignore it." Cragen found himself sighing again as he questioned whether or not he'd done the right thing.

"What kind of deal?" Olivia's expression seemed to brighten, finding anything better then being suspended. By the way Cragen glanced at her, he obviously didn't feel the same way.

"There's a press conference later. They want something to give the public by then, to reassure them." There was a disquieting pause before he proceeded. "Either you're suspended for God-knows-how-long… or you agree to six months of therapy sessions, provided by the state."

"Therapy?" Olivia repeated, her inescapable fury resurfacing. "You mean a shrink?"

He carefully nodded, feebly offering forward the paper in his hand. "They were worried about a conflict of interest in having the sessions with Huang, so he recommended a woman that specializes in rape cases." When Olivia didn't accept the paper and merely stared at him with upset incredulity, Cragen lowered his arm and took a deep breath. "Olivia, I'm sorry. I did everything I could to change their minds, but they believed that this was best for everyone involved."

"_Involved_?" The pitch in Olivia's voice rose as she mocked Cragen. "Who's _involved_?" Her face hardened in betrayal and anger as she slowly stepped forward. "Other than me and the bastard who raped me, who was in my bedroom that night that could possibly be affected by this?" Cragen just met her eyes in silence, able to offer no explanation. When Olivia realized he wasn't going to defend himself or his choice, she kicked her legs forward and began walking towards him. Ripping the paper from his hand, she sarcastically hissed at him. "Thanks for the huge vote of confidence in me, Cap. I appreciate it." Before either could say another word, Olivia left the interrogation room, slamming the door behind her.

As she stormed down the hallway, a mental image of Myers popped into her mind and she immediately knew her next destination. If she was going to therapy sessions for the next six months of her life, she was sure as hell going to find out why. Determination soothed some of her anger as she made her way towards the office of the only person who could possibly know how Myers found out… Casey.

--XXX--

"I can't believe this…" Casey murmured to herself as she held a copy of the newspaper in her hands. Pulling her chair up to her desk, she hurled it into the nearest trashcan. Fatigue settled over her as she put her elbows on her desk and held her forehead in her hands.

Over the past two days, she'd been relentlessly kicking herself to figure out how Joe could have possibly known about Olivia's attack. She'd searched through the entire system and found no sign or red flags that could have pointed him to it, just as she thought. There were also no calls made by Olivia's attacker in the prison phone log, making the chances of him contacting anyone who could have told Myers very minute. With no other credible answer, Casey could only confirm her worst fear. While they'd been on there date, she let something about it slip. _She_ was responsible for all of this.

Somehow, she'd managed to avoid the entire squad ever since the trial, but she knew she couldn't keep it up forever. Eventually, they'd confront her and she'd have to confess her mistake. _Mistake?_ She scoffed at the word. _I think I'm a little past mistake. Try misjudgement, faux pas… or plain and simple idiocy…_

Still mentally kicking herself, she tried to think of the best way to tell Olivia when there was a knock at her door. Not even giving it a second thought, she rubbed the bridge of her nose and yelled. "Come in!"

"Hello _Case._" Appalled at the sound of the familiar voice, Casey's hand dropped to her desk. There, standing in her office like the other day hadn't even happened, was Joseph Myers. He was dressed in a suit and tie with his hair slicked back, a smug, arrogant grin covering his face.

"You…" Casey growled accusingly as she jumped to her feet. Her chair almost clattered to the floor as it was shoved backwards. "What in the hell are you doing here?" She propped the palms of her hands against the top of the desk and menacingly leaned forward, spitting out her words like venom.

"Casey, Casey." He condescendingly shook his head and clucked his tongue at her. Casually holding his hands behind his back, he began strolling closer towards her desk. "How can you treat me like that after everything we've been through?" Grinning, amusement twinkled in his eyes as he winked at her.

Casey clenched her jaw together as she continued to glare at him, quickly aggravated by his antics. Her instincts commanded her to throw him out of her office without a second thought or word between them, but she resisted them. Curiosity for the truth exceeded her personal feelings. "How did you find out?" She shakily whispered, further angered that he put her in the position that made her need _anything_ from him.

"What was that?" Myers smirked, leaning the side of his head forward. He was obviously enjoying this.

"How did you find out?" She repeated, slightly louder, but still keeping her volume under control. "About what happened to Detective Benson?"

"I suppose the fact that you haven't figured it out yet shouldn't be so surprising. After all," he mocked, "the day before a high profile case and you didn't even know who the defense attorney was. Or were you just so seduced by my looks that you'd blow the entire trial for a second chance with me?"

Casey's eyes narrowed as she bit the side of her tongue to keep from screaming and wiping the smug grin off of his face. "Actually," she forced a sarcastic smile onto her lips, "I think that morals and character are much more important in a person, both of which you indefinitely seem to lack." Myers' face quickly twisted into a glare of pure fury, fire flickering in his eyes. Casey drew back away from her desk, temporarily frightened by his sudden change in mood.

At her uneasiness, a twisted grin resurfaced on Myers' face, pulling exactly the reaction from her that he wanted. "Come on Case," he patronized her, taking a leering step forward. "You believe you're so smart, then think!" Myers jerked forward, pretending to lunge at her. When Casey remained indifferent, he just gave an icy laugh. "Leaving a guy in your office, all alone… not so smart."

As Casey thought back to the night they went out, all her unanswered questions seemed to fall into place.

Casey's hands flew over the keyboard of her computer, desperately trying to finish the last report for her case. She glanced up at her wall clock to see that there were only a few minutes until Joe was going to pick her up. A groan escaped her as she realized that she still had to deliver the papers to her boss downstairs when she was done.

The last word finally typed, she grabbed the mouse of her computer. "File…" She muttered, moving the mouse over the word and clicking. "Print… okay…" Her foot nervously tapped against the floor as she waited for the beeping printer to spit out the final paper. Just as it dropped into the tray, a knock pounded on the door. "So close…" she moaned, shaking her head.

"Hey Casey!" Joe's head popped into the room, followed by a very formal black suit and matching tie.

"Hey!" She returned the shout, though in bothered surprise more than a greeting. "What's with the suit?"

"This old thing?" He clutched the collar between his hands, innocently holding it up.

"I hate you," she laughed, rolling her eyes as she got to her feet. Shaking her head, Casey gathered the report together. Just as she was about to grab her coat to leave, a folder on the bookcase in the corner caught her eye. It was the one containing the papers that guaranteed Olivia's rapist at least fifteen years in jail, probably longer.

Momentarily turning her back to Joe, she discreetly slipped the folder underneath a few books. Satisfied that it was out of sight, Casey grabbed her report and walked towards the door. "Um…" She held the paper up, sheepishly looking to explain. "I gotta take this downstairs. Just give me one minute," she held up her index finger, "and I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting…" His voice sweetly tapered off as he winked, curling his mouth into another grin. Casey just matched his smile and continued through the doorway.

Only off on her word by a minute or so, Casey walked back into her office to find Joe lingering around in the corner. The quiet tap of the door handle against the wall caught his attention. "Hey." His hand casually rested on top of the bookcase, drawing a glance of suspicion from her. Casey couldn't help but get the feeling that he was searching the room. "I see you're still kicking butt in softball." He motioned up towards the wooden plaque on the wall. Her name was emblazoned across the bottom in big gold letters, surrounded by signatures and a team picture.

"You know it," she chuckled, her concern quickly dissipating as they walked out of the building together.

"You were going through my files!" Casey's mouth momentarily gaped open as she glared into Myers' eyes. "That's how you knew!" She numbly began shaking her head, dumbfounded not even beginning to describe her emotions. Refusing to let her professional, protective shield down, Casey's voice came out in such a loud scream that it caught even herself off guard. "I could have you disbarred for that!" Too flabbergasted for much else, she could only spout off an empty threat.

The veins in Myers' neck appeared to be pulsating as his features transformed into disgust. "Casey…" His voice was a deep, menacing growl as he walked closer towards her desk, now only a yard away. "You're in no position to be threatening anyone."

Though Casey appeared untouched by all Myers' intimidation tactics, she felt shaken to the core. She'd played detective before and been inside a cell room with guys who'd killed in cold blood, so this wasn't the first time she had been threatened. But this was the first time she had actually _believed_ the threat.

This wasn't the man that Casey had dated a few years ago, or even the other night. This person was cold to the point of a sociopath, a sick depravity glinting in his eyes. Casey felt a foreboding knot beginning to gather at the bottom of her stomach, shrieking at her to do whatever she had to do to get away from him. With this random anger controlling Myers, there was every possibility that things could become really dangerous… really quick.

Keeping their gazes locked, she inched her hand towards the phone of her desk, sizing up the situation to see if she'd have the opportunity to call one of the SVU detectives. Just as her fingers brushed the receiver, Myers suddenly lunged for her hands.

In one swift motion, he'd grabbed her wrists and violently flung her back against the wall. Casey's restrained arms were being crushed into the wall above her head, causing her to snap her eyes shut as she winced in pain. As she opened her mouth to scream, she instantaneously felt Myers' lips shoved onto hers. Her eyelids flew open in shock to find that he'd also pressed his body against her chest and stomach. Before she could fight him off of her, Casey felt his tongue slip past her lips and into her mouth. Allowing her instincts to take over, she clamped her teeth down into the flesh as hard as she could. The taste of blood exploded in her mouth just seconds before Myers jerked away cursing.

His attention quickly turned back to Casey when he sensed her struggling to yank her constrained arms free from his grip. A small drop of blood trickled from the corner of his mouth as he merely grinned. "Don't you want me?" He taunted lustfully in a throaty snarl, bringing his head back down to collide against Casey's in another kiss.

Wrenching her lips from his in by shaking her head to the side, Casey shouted at him. "Never, you sonofabitch!" Her features became rigid in fierceness as she locked her gaze of malice onto her assailant's face. "Go to hell," she hissed in an austere tone.

"You were always such the tease, Case." Myers sneered, his lips curling around his teeth. He leaned in close enough towards Casey's face that she could feel his breath against her cheek. "I strung you along for months and I never got a damn thing from you. What did you think I put up with your haughty attitude for? Just so you could dump me in the end? I screwed your detective over and I can do the same to you. I _will_ get what I want." Everything she'd seen about him so far guaranteed her that his threats, unlike hers, carried power and truth behind them.

The fear and rage pulsating through Casey suddenly pulled back an old memory of a self-defense course she'd taken a few years ago. Her instructor's number one motto had been, "If all else fails, hit 'em where it hurts." Mustering up every ounce of strength in her aching body, she thrust her knee upwards and made a solid connection with his crotch.

A second of hope fluttered through Casey as the air gushed from Myers' stomach and his hands released her arms to jerk downwards and protect himself. Still standing motionless against the wall, a wave of panic paralyzed her. When Myers began to straighten his waist, Casey realized she was about to lose her chance to escape. Ducking past her desk, her mouth opened in a screech as a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. Her screams were cut off when the arms swung her back around. Casey's neck snapped back with the motion, causing her skull to hit the wall with such a force and sickening thud that her head bounced back before finally falling on the wall.

Had Myers' hands not been pinning Casey to the wall, she would have collapsed to the ground the moment she tried to open her eyes. Her head was throbbing, there was a steady ringing that pounded her inner eardrums, and even with her eyes open, she couldn't see a thing through her dizzy, blurred vision. She stood on shaky legs as she blinked repeatedly, trying to clear her sight. When she tried to focus on anything in front of her, the room just started spinning.

Before Casey could do anything, Myers pressed his body up against hers again and meet her lips in a fierce kiss. He slid her hands up against the wall and held them over her head as he rammed his tongue in her mouth again. Learning from his past mistakes, he didn't try to separate her clenched teeth and instead slid his tongue over them, back and forth.

Casey continued to struggle against his grasp of her as she tried to scream for help. Her efforts merely came out as incoherent, muffled noises that vibrated her lips against Myers'. He responded by abruptly pulling away, using the opportunity to take the risk of gathering both her wrists in only one hand so that his other was free to lower itself to her blouse. He wrapped his fingers around the material near the top bottom and yanked it as hard as he could, causing two buttons to pop off and reveal a small portion of the black bra she had on underneath.

Casey's mind raced with all the advice and lessons she'd been given and taught while working in SVU, frantically hunting for any little thing that may be able to get her out of this situation. Something Olivia had said to her seemed to jump out over everything else. She had explained that most women have a better time of escaping their attacker if they respond with anger and confidence over fear and panic. Choking back tears, she sputtered a few inarticulate words before getting her voice back. "You'll never get away with this!" She squirmed around as Myers began kissing her neck. Eventually he found himself a favorable spot and starting nipping at her skin, increasing in pressure until she murmured in pain. "Once I tell the SVU detectives about this they'll throw your ass in jail before you even leave this building!"

Myers glanced up, meeting her eyes with a smug expression. "You mean your little friend Detective Benson? After finding out you were directly responsible for the press knowing she was raped, do you really think she'll believe a word that comes out of your mouth? Or that she'll really care what happens to you? Please," he scoffed, "this is all your fault, you bitch! Who will the public believe? An angry lawyer who's just seeking revenge because she lost her friend and let a case slip… or me?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued to kiss her.

As Casey felt Myers' body pressing against her, violating her, she couldn't repress the thought that he was right or the burning tears that began to freely flow down her cheeks. No one would believe her. Besides, she was too weak to fight him off and the throbbing in her head had become unbearable, with a magnitude three times as bad as the worst migraine she'd ever experienced. Just as she closed her eyes and submitted to him, no longer fighting or struggling, the face of Emma MacGuire appeared in her mind.

One by one, each of the victims she'd ever seen in her years at SVU flashed before her eyes. The face of every person that had been scarred and traumatized for life, and yet still had the courage to come forward and face their attacker. She saw everyone whose life would never again be the same… and she knew she couldn't give up. As long as she had any energy left in her, she had to fight, had to get away. She refused to become just another victim. Summoning all her strength, she relentlessly tugged her arms downward and tried to break his hold. As she tried to scream again, Casey heard the sound of her office door opening and a familiar voice follow it.

"Casey!" Olivia burst into the ADA's office to find Casey against the back wall with Joseph Myers on top of her, the two embraced in a heavy kiss. She was just about to apologize and duck back out when she noticed that it didn't appear so consensual. He had her arms pinned above her head and seemed to be fighting, sending a pleading glance to her. Before she even reacted, the inevitable crossed her mind. _Oh my God, he's going to rape her._ Fury bubbled up and broke through her composure as she found her voice. "Hey!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, sprinting to the middle of the office.

At the intrusion, Myers whipped around to face the detective. "You!" He matched her fury, if not tripled it, and glared at her. "There's no way you're going to ruin this for me!" He darted around Casey's desk and barreled towards Olivia. Just before he completely ran past her, he shoved his hand out and struck her in the face. The intensity was almost enough to knock her to the ground, but she kept her balance and quickly recovered as she carefully shook her head. As Olivia saw him begin to turn around, her eyes darted around and quickly landed on the metal desk lamp barely a foot away. Without hesitation, she clutched it in both hands and swung it over her shoulder, wincing at the metallic twang it made connecting with his skull. Her shoulders heaving up and down with each breath, Olivia glanced down to see that Myers was lying unconscious in a heap on the floor. The rise and fall of his chest assured her that he was fine, just out cold.

"Casey..?" Olivia meekly glanced up, her hands still shaking. Casey just stared down at Myers' unmoving figure with fear in her eyes. After he'd released her to lunge for Olivia, she'd gripped onto the back of her chair for balance. When what had almost happened hit her in a sudden wave, she felt her legs threaten to crumple right underneath her. Perceiving her weakened state, Olivia dashed behind the desk just in time to wrap an arm over her shoulder and prop her up. "Casey? Are you all right?" She reached her other arm around the front of Casey in an awkward hug, not that either of them was paying much attention. Tears just fell down her face as she slowly shook her head, wincing as she did so. Feeling like she was a few seconds away from drifting off to sleep, she faced Olivia and started to lean forward.

Olivia decided to just comfort her and moved one of her hands to cradle the back of Casey's head when she felt something warm on her fingers. Squinting her eyes in confusion, she moved her hand so that she had a clear view of it. "Casey…" She gasped, identifying the dark red liquid and gazing up at her in dismay. "You're bleeding." Casey just looked from Olivia, down to her hand, then back again, her face unchanging.

A shuffling noise in the doorway caused both women to jump as they turned to the source of the sound. Elliot was standing by Myers' head, a stunned expression on his face as his eyes gradually took in the scene before him. They finally settled on Olivia and Casey as he spoke. "What the hell happened?"


	16. I'm Breaking The Habit Tonight

Um... I swear this will never ever, never never, ever ever, never ever never ever, ever ever ever, never ever, never, ev -er take me so long to write again. Honestly. I just needed a break what with school and everything going on. Hopefully though, I haven't lost too many fans yet. All right, next chapter will be up fairly soon. If it's not, I will... I'll... um... How about the first person to call me on it can choose a punishment, sound good? Er, seriously though. I promised OE, I know, and this kinda has some. But next chapter will be some really mushy stuff.

I'm Breaking The Habit Tonight 

Olivia remained glued to the side of the stretcher as it was transported down the front steps of the building, her eyes never leaving the barely conscious figure lying on it. Casey had a precautionary neck brace on and the paramedics had already inserted an IV into her arm, the saline solution dripping down from a bag one was holding. As they came to one of the ambulances, Olivia stood to the side and watched Casey being loaded in. Once all the paramedics were clear, she hopped in as well.

"Liv!" The pounding of shoes on the pavement and a voice caught her attention. Elliot was jogging up towards her, a look of concern on his face. "I-"

"El, go ride in the other ambulance." She interrupted him, motioning with a nod of her head. Passing him one last reassuring glance, Olivia reached out to close the door behind her.

Elliot caught the door as it swung around and pushed it back open, just enough so that he could see Olivia. "Are you guys okay?" He compelled the best don't-lie-to-me, parental expression on his face that he could manage over his apprehension.

"Fine," Olivia forced, hearing the exasperated yells of the paramedics inside the vehicle. "Now go make sure we have someone to prosecute after this!" Elliot gave a slight nod as he shoved the door the rest of the way, setting off the click of the lock engaging.

Olivia grabbed onto the interior wall of the ambulance as it lurched to life, speeding forward with the sirens wailing. Uncomfortably squatting on her knees, she immediately regained her balance and inched out of the path of the paramedics. Their actions seemed less rushed, a good sign that Casey's vitals were stabilizing. Nonetheless, Olivia found herself moving towards the front of the vehicle where a woman had her fingers on Casey's wrist, checking her pulse. "How is she?"

The woman tossed her blonde ponytail behind her shoulder as she faced the detective, concern darkening her face. "Vitals are all looking good, but she's definitely got a concussion and she seems to be slipping into unconsciousness." Her voice lowered, insinuating towards the gravity of the situation. "If we don't keep her awake, there are chances that she could easily slip into a coma."

Olivia didn't need any more hints as she glanced down at Casey. "Casey?" Repeating her name, she hid the panic in her voice with feigned assurance. "Casey?" She ran her hand over Casey's forehead and hair, stopping her thumb to gently pull her eyelid up. "Come on Casey, look at me. I know you're awake," she willed, pleading that she was guessing right. A wave of relief washed over her as the woman's dusky green eyes finally slid open. "Thank God," she whispered, moving both her arms down to grasp Casey's hand between her own.

"Olivia…" She weakly sputtered, her face crinkling up in pain that was indistinguishable between emotional and physical. Her eyelids flickered up and down as she struggled to keep them even partly open. Noticing the genuine care and concern Olivia was watching her with, it only made the knot of guilt in her stomach feel even bigger. "I'm sorry," she murmured as tears stung the corner of her eyes.

"For what?" Olivia studied her intently, reassuringly squeezing her hands over Casey's.

"Myers…" Her voice rose in pitch before it diminished, a sob cutting it off. She pressed her lips together and attempted to blink away the tears starting to fall. "It's all my fault."

"No, no." Olivia shook her head defiantly. Locking gazes with Casey, she leaned forward and spoke resolutely. "This _was not_ your fault, Casey. Don't think that." Lacing their fingers together, Olivia gripped her hand even tighter, as if her hold could prevent Casey from slipping into unconsciousness.

"Yes it is," she insisted, a stray tear sliding down her cheek. She knew Olivia was referring to Myers attacking her, and it only elevated the shame she felt. Her mouth opened to articulate, but the detective stopped her.

"Shh… Just focus on staying awake, honey." Olivia continued to comfort her until they arrived at the hospital.

--XXX--

Casey groaned as a sudden flash of pain burst through her restless slumber, causing her eyes to flicker open. Groggily coming back into reality, she focused on the aching long enough to realize it was originating from the back of her head. She foolishly shifted her head around, the pain almost inciting a scream from her.

"Careful!" A soothing voice softly instructed her, followed by the person resting her hand on her shoulder. "Not even all the morphine they drugged you up on will make it completely painless."

"Liv?" Casey blinked her vision clear to find the detective standing over her bed, a small smile on her face. "What happened?" Being the quick learner, she kept her head motionless and darted her eyes around to find she was in a hospital room.

Olivia continued to stand next to her, speaking with a reassuring and comforting smile. "After the doctors finally stabilized you, they had to put staples in the back of your head." At the overly horrified expression she gave her at the news, Olivia had to stifle a laugh. "It's a completely standard procedure Casey, don't worry." She momentarily set her hand back down encouragingly against Casey's shoulder before bringing it down to rest at her side. "I'm not surprised you fell asleep." Her gaze traveled from the IV in Casey's arm and up the tube to the solution dripping into it. "I think they gave you enough medication to numb a horse."

Whilst Olivia's eyes scrutinized the room, Casey's remained fixed on the detective, the nagging tactility at the pit of her stomach suddenly returning. She tediously eased herself up into a sitting position before averting her eyes to her lap and hesitantly clearing her throat. Feeling Olivia's patient stare watching her, she attempted her confession in the same way she'd done in the ambulance. "I'm sorry, Liv," she whispered ashamedly. To prevent Olivia from having time to interrupt her, Casey hastily continued. "In the ambulance, I wasn't talking about what Myers had done to me." Somehow, she managed to gather together the courage to meet Olivia's perplexed stare. "I was talking about what he did to you."

Olivia's confusion grew as she listened to her, unable to grasp what she was trying to tell her. "Casey," she shook her head, "I don't-"

"During the trial," she quickly supplied, "when he brought up your attack." Ignoring the dull throbbing radiating throughout her head, she took a deep breath and proceeded with her divulgence. "He found out about it because of me." Her explanation was left at that as she dove into an apology, trying to silence her thoughts. She could still hear voice in Myers' in her mind as it mocked her, saying that the entire predicament had been her fault and Olivia would never again trust her because of that. "I never meant for any of this to turn out like it did. You've got to believe me, Liv," she pleaded. "I wouldn't have gone out with him had I known he was the defense."

"Whoa, calm down." Clearing her head, Olivia mindfully sat on the edge of the bed as she kept her gaze where it was. After a minute of silence so that Casey could regain her composure, Olivia broke the quietness. "Of course I believe you didn't mean for this to happen." When her words didn't seem enough to convince her, she slipped her hand over the ADA's and clasped it in consolation. She thoughtfully studied her in concern for a moment. "But you've got to tell me what happened, Casey."

Nodding in compliance, Casey let everything pour out. From the first time Myers came into her office, to earlier that night, she admitted everything until she found herself at the moment he attacked her.

Tears gathered in her eyes as she hung her head and forced herself to relive the memory. "Then he shoved me back against the wall. I tried to fight him, but my head hurt so much… he was just too strong…" A quiet sob cut off her story and one by one the teardrops began to roll down her cheeks. "While he was on top of me, all I could think about was every victim I'd ever seen, every rapist and pedophile I'd put behind bars because their victims had the courage to survive and testify."

Listening, Olivia felt her eyes begin to water as she identified completely with everything Casey said. Similar, if not identical, thoughts had filled her mind the night she was raped. Every case, every victim… it all flooded back to her as she laid helplessly, her assailant's weight crushing into her.

When Casey looked up at the unusually silent detective and saw her matching tears, she didn't need to inquire to know why they were there. "And that must have been how you felt when you were raped…" The two locked tearful expressions for a moment, their eyes speaking every thought and feeling they couldn't put words to. "Thank you," Casey graciously whispered without warning, breaking the serenity first.

Olivia slightly tilted her head to the side and studied her in puzzlement, the tears in her eyes beginning to dissipate. "For what?"

"For saving me when you did," she genuinely smiled, causing Olivia to break out in a small grin as well.

There was a momentary pause preceding Olivia's next statement. "The doctor said you'd be all right to leave in another hour or so. Eventually, you'll have to give a statement if you're going to press charges."

Casey gave a resolute nod, knowing the procedure and having already decided to bring charges against the bastard. "Without a doubt," she assured her. "Have you heard about his condition?"

Olivia shook her head, glancing towards the closed door of the room. "Cragen and the guys are all outside. They're waiting to find out what happened."

--XXX--

"Captain, you know Olivia and you know Novak. Neither of them would have attacked the guy unless it had been in self-defense." Elliot abrasively insisted as they stood outside the hospital room, refusing to believe that anything else had gone on in Casey's office.

"And you know IAB!" Cragen shot back irritably. "They couldn't care less about the type of people they are!" The volume of his voice began steadily increasing as he berated his detective. "All they're going to see is the situation! Casey and Olivia are fine and Myers isn't!" He suddenly found himself face to face with Elliot, only a few inches between them as he yelled. Drawing in a deep breath for composure, Cragen whipped back around and moved down the hallway with his back to Elliot. Wearily running a hand over his bald scalp, he regretfully grumbled to himself. "Maybe the Morris Commission was right about suspending her…"

When Cragen's statement caught his attention, Elliot leaned in and listened intently to determine if he'd heard right. Appalled, he walked up towards the Captain. "You're not talking about Olivia," he questioned in dismay, catching his eye. "So you're siding with them now?" Elliot demanded in a flash of anger at anyone doubting his partner's ability and constraint. His tone dropped low and chiding. "You've lost all faith in her too?" He ignored his boss's narrowing eyes and continued. "After all this… after everything the whole squad has been though, you're just going to throw her to the dogs? Just give up on her like you don't give a damn?"

After the last question, Cragen decided he'd heard more than enough. His jaw was tightly clenched together and the vein in his neck was beginning to slightly throb underneath his skin. Just as he had done before, though this time it was intentional, he leaned in towards Elliot so their faces had only six inches between them at most. As he spoke, he matched Elliot's voice with a growl. "I have been a captain in this precinct for fifteen years and I've been a cop for twice that. Each detective that has come through my squad I have treated and cared for like they were my own kids." He lifted his index finger and pointed it at Elliot's chest warningly, just brushing the fabric of the blazer. "And I've always put my neck on the line for them and never given up on anyone. So don't you _dare_ tell me that I don't give a damn about Olivia, or insinuate that I've deserted any one of you, because _I_ haven't."

Though Elliot had been caught slightly off guard with Cragen's sudden guard, he remained undaunted. The two continued to stare down the other, both breathing heavily in anger.

Suddenly, the creaking squeal of hinges moving brought both men's attention towards the door behind them. Olivia had stepped out of Casey's room and was now watching them with hesitance.

"Am I interrupting something?" The look of exhaustion on her face was evident as she balled her hand into a fist and scratched her forehead with the nail of her thumb.

They ignored her question as Elliot hurried up to her in concern. Standing in front of her, he looked her up and down anxiously as he grabbed her free wrist with both his hands. Locking onto her eyes, he finally spoke. "Liv, are you okay?"

Sighing, she pulled her arm out of his grasp and nodded. "I'm fine."

"How's Casey?" The two detectives glanced over as Cragen walked up next to them.

Olivia nodded again, folding her arms in front of her. "She's all right. Still in pain because of the staples, and still reeling from what Myers did to her." Her eyes angrily crossed and her expression hardened as she brought Myers' name into the conversation.

As Elliot saw this, he felt his stomach drop. Though he was sure he already knew the answer, he had to ask her. Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, he had to remind himself to at least appear as objective as possible. "Liv, who hit Myers with the lamp?"

Her next two words confirmed the men's fears. "I did." She watched on in puzzled alarm as the color left Elliot's face. Cragen's expression wasn't any more comforting. Flustered and unsure what to do next, she quickly became defensive. "He was going to _rape_ Casey and he punched me. Would you rather I'd shot him?" Her eyes were wide in incredulity as she looked back and forth between their stares. Elliot and Cragen exchanged a quick glance before either found their voice to speak.

"Olivia," Cragen started in a calming and relaxing tone, "tell us what happened."

Still flustered, she played back the situation in her mind and described them, starting with when she walked into Casey's office. She decided to leave the preceding events for the ADA to explain. When she finished, they silently processed her words.

Olivia cleared her throat, uncertain what to do next as she watched Cragen. "So should I go down to the station house? Give my statement so Casey can press charges?"

The Captain's eyes became pained as they looked up at his detective. "I'm afraid it's not that easy this time, Liv."

"What?" She nervously studied him, bothered by the possible meaning of his statement. "What are you talking about?"

"It's Myers," Elliot answered for him, his features etched in distress despite the gentle kindness he spoke with. "In the ambulance on the way over… His heart stopped. The paramedics tried to revive him, but they couldn't." Tears of shock and remorse began gathering in Olivia's eyes, causing him to unknowingly lower his voice to a whisper. "Liv, they pronounced him dead about twenty minutes ago."

--XXX--

"Oh God, El…" Olivia sighed helplessly, leaning forward in the plastic chair in the hospital waiting room and nestling her forehead against her fists. "I can't believe this. I never meant to…" She faded off, unable to complete the sentence as she slowly began to shake her head side to side in an attempt to dislodge her thoughts.

Elliot's brows furrowing in commiseration, he lowered himself in the seat next to her. His stomach pressed against her side as he leaned over and slipped his arm over Olivia's back, affectionately and tenderly caressing her skin. When Elliot felt her muscles begin to relax under his touch, he pulled her closer and wrapped his other arm around the front of her.

Olivia habitually pressed her face against his chest, a position she'd grown very accustomed to over the past week or so. She melted against his skin as she felt him rest his chin against the top of her head. Olivia wanted nothing more than to be able to just float away in his arms and disregard the last few months of her life. But she couldn't, she couldn't move on and she couldn't forget. She'd taken a man's life this evening. That first admission made her body involuntarily shudder.

"Liv?" Elliot whispered, gently massaging her shoulder beneath his hand. "Are you all right?"

"No!" She lamented in disbelief, pushing away from him so that her expression of shock was visible. "El, I _killed_ a guy tonight!" She held her hands up, the palms facing her. "I took his life with my own two hands." Unshed tears glistened on her eyes as she tossed her hands back into her lap. "Of course I'm not all right!"

Regret and distress covered his face as he snatched one of her hands in his. "Liv, you don't know that it was your fault. There could be a million other reasons for his death." When she responded with nothing but a look of skepticism, he continued. "Warner's made his autopsy a number one priority. We don't know anything for sure until we get it back."

"And what do you think it's gonna say?" Olivia snapped back, positive that the fault lay over her conscience. "That he died of some freak heart attack or something? No, it's going to be because of a blow to the back of the head. Then the Morris Commission will _really_ love me," she scoffed.

"Liv, if worst comes to worst, it was in self-defense." When Elliot quickly realized that no amount of condolence was going to sway her opinion, he decided to attempt his hand at cheering her up. "Besides, I could always claim I was the one that hit Myers. Granted, the Morris Commissioners aren't exactly my best friends, but I'm sure they can't go too hard on me."

At his sudden rambling, Olivia narrowed her eyes in frustrated confusion. Her patience was waning and word games were not helping the cause. "What the hell are you talking about? Munch and Fin are already down at the precinct looking over the security camera footage from inside Casey's office when I attacked him." She raised an eyebrow at her partner. "Besides, they're not stupid."

Elliot just grinned, trying to reveal his true intent without provoking her further. "That's not exactly the word I was going for, but I guess it's all the same. Seriously though, Liv," he successfully stifled a laugh as he slid his arm back over her shoulders and drew her perplexed stare closer to his own face. "Get a wig, some tissues…" he winked playfully, "I could pass for you."

An agitated expression played on her features before it turned into a look of repulsion. As Elliot laughed at her, Olivia felt the corners of her mouth compulsively curl up in response to the sound. Neither was ever really able to hold a straight face when the other one didn't. When his laughs faded, Olivia found herself actually picturing Elliot dressed like her and was immediately insulted.

"Just what is it you're trying to say there, Stabler?" She accusingly poked his chest with her finger, leaning away from his touch. "Are you saying I resemble a transvestite?" Her lips pursed in hostility and her eyes narrowed at him.

"Aw, Liv…" He quietly chuckled, tightening his arm around her as he murmured in her ear. "Of course not, I'm just kidding."

Feeling Elliot's warm breath against her skin, Olivia felt a tingling sensation shoot through her body. Turning her neck so that she was facing him, she felt a smile creep onto her face as she spoke. "You're such a jerk."

A pleased grin appeared on Elliot's mouth as he earnestly studied her. His voice dropped to a low whisper. "But you're smiling now," he pointed out.

When Olivia suddenly realized that had been his intent the entire time, she rolled her eyes. "Absolutely brilliant, El. Now if you'll let go of me for a second…" She sighed as she attempted to yank free of his embrace to allow her to stand. "I'm gonna go get us some coffee."

"Oh, no you don't." Just as she managed to make it to her feet, Elliot's arms pulled her back down into the chair with a thud. When she whipped around to face his with a demanding glare, Elliot elaborated as he raised his eyebrow at her. "You've already had about eight cups since we've been here. I'm cutting you off."

"Fine," she agreed in a hollow, taunting tone. "But coffee's my stress reliever." Her eyes suddenly took on a corrupt glint as she continued with her threat. "If you take that away, I'll just have to relax by gouging your eyes out."

By her tone and expression, Elliot sensed that her forewarning was, in fact, very probable. Not really wanting to risk his vision, he continued warily. "Threatening bodily harm. I think that tops the list of signs of an addiction. You don't need more caffeine, you need sleep in your own bed." Rising to his feet, he pulled Olivia back up with him. "You're going home."

An annoyed sigh parted Olivia's lips and she rolled her eyes. Hearing the stubbornness Elliot spoke with, she knew that any objecting would just result in a losing battle for her. "Just one problem. Our cars are back at the station house."

"All right," he shrugged, shuffling around a hand within one of his pockets until he found his wallet. "We can take a taxi."

Olivia debated that for a moment until she realized something. "I don't have any money with me."

Elliot just smiled and slightly turned his head to the side to stare at her. He was just about to offer her money for a taxi home when an innocent plan crossed his mind. "Guess you're coming home with me then," he playfully grinned, wrapping a suggestive arm around her waist.

A chuckle escaped Olivia as she felt his fingers tickle her skin and met his gaze. "What happened to sleeping in 'my own bed?'"

He shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his arm protectively curled around her as he started leading her outside. "Your bed, my bed… whatever."

She softly slapped his chest with the back of her hand and pretended to let out an appalled gasp. "Detective Stabler, if that's your subtle way of trying to get in my pants, I can tell you right now it's not going to work."

"Well, it was worth a shot." When Olivia glanced over, seeming to take his words seriously, he flashed her another boyish grin before hailing the nearest taxi.

--XXX--

"I still can't believe you made us drive all the way to your apartment," Elliot incredulously shook his head, tossing his jacket onto the recliner in his living room as he entered his house. "That kind of defeated the whole point of you staying here in the first place." Olivia just replied with a fatigued smile as she shed her jacket as well, maneuvering around the small overnight bag in her hand. Grabbing Elliot's from the chair, she neatly rested them both on the coat rack next to the front door. "You owe me twenty-seven dollars for cab fare."

"Right…" Her mouth widened in a silent yawn and she quickly covered it with her palm. Her yawn dissipating into a sigh, Olivia couldn't help but grin as she watched Elliot saunter over towards the kitchen.

The cupboard door creaked on the hinges as he opened it and looked over his shoulder towards her. "You want something to eat?"

Shaking her head, her eyes slipped shut in exhaustion. "I'm going to bed." Olivia sluggishly trudged towards the extra bedroom in the house, clasping the bag containing her clothes in her hand.

Grinning, Elliot quickly intercepted her route, standing in front of her. When Olivia glanced up at him, he wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug. "Night," he offered as his only explanation.

"Night, El." Just as she was about to pull away, Elliot moved in and gently pressed his lips to her forehead. Leaning back, his eyes remained on Olivia as he tenderly studied her.

"You sure you don't need anything?" He wondered in concern, his arms still resting on her shoulders. "You know where everything is? There are extra blankets are in the closet, there should be some pillows too, and-"

"Elliot, I've been here before." She locked her eyes onto his, sending a reassuring glance. "I'm good." Readjusting her grip on the bag in her hand, she started walking around Elliot. "Night." She brushed her hand against his shoulder as she strolled past him.

--XXX--

With an exasperated sigh, Elliot flipped over in his bed, finding it impossible to get any sleep. Rubbing his hand over his face, he suddenly noticed a faint glow coming out from underneath his bedroom door. He continued rubbing his eyes to clear his vision as he pushed himself closer towards the edge of the mattress. His eyes finally adjusted to the light and he realized that the light was coming from the kitchen. He flipped his covers off of his body and sat up with a groan, assuming he'd left a light on in one of the other rooms.

Instead of finding the room empty when he opened his door he found Olivia, sitting at the kitchen table, her back turned to him and the ceiling light on. "Liv?" His eyes blinked repeatedly for a moment so that he was sure he was seeing right when she didn't react to her name. "Liv?" He asked again, taking a few steps towards her.

Olivia, however, seemed to be indifferent to his voice. She remained in her seat, clutching a mug between both her hands.

Finally reaching her, Elliot dropped a hand on her shoulder and spoke louder. "Olivia!"

Olivia reacted with split-second reflexes, jerking her upper torso around at the same time her hand shot up to defensively grab Elliot's. Just as she was about to launch into a martial arts move, she noticed it was only him. "Elliot?" Her eyes were bloodshot as they studied him over in sudden disorientation.

"Yeah, Liv," he nodded, wincing as he felt her manicured nails dig themselves deeper into the flesh on his hand. "Just me." He wiggled the fingers of his entrapped hand just enough for Olivia to understand the signal and quickly release her aggressive grip. Breathing out in relief, Elliot's brows furrowed as he began massaging the fingernail imprints out of his skin.

"I'm sorry El." Despite the drained, hollow tone to her voice, her apology was sincere as she observed Elliot nursing his hand. "I thought… I was just…" She found herself incapable of providing any rationalization as she rested her forehead against her open palm, averting her guilty eyes to the floor.

Both perplexed and alarmed, Elliot grabbed one of the dining table chairs and scrapped the legs against the floor as he moved it closer towards Olivia. Lowering himself into it, he glanced into the mug on the table to see that it was filled with black coffee that had to be fairly old. "Liv, what are you doing up?" When she wouldn't voluntarily meet his gaze, he curved her forefinger and reached out to place it under her chin. She had no choice but to finally look at him as he tilted her head up, revealing her misty eyes. "Olivia…" Elliot's voice dropped to a concerned, gentle whisper. "What's wrong?"

At his innocent question, Olivia felt her face contort in anger before she could stop herself. "Oh, nothing!" She snapped, furiously smacking his hand away from her chin. "I've just been up thinking about how I'm no better than half the perps we've ever put away!"

Taken aback by her unexpected yelling, Elliot just sat in silence as his eyes darted over her face in an attempt to better understand. Studying her pained expression, it only took him a second to appreciate her words. "Myers."

A dubious look crossed her face and she bit her lip. "Did you figure that out all by yourself, smart one?"

"Liv…" Elliot softly whispered, caringly gazing into her eyes. "Don't do this. Don't push me away and don't blame yourself for this." As he spoke, he reached his hand out and clasped Olivia's. Though her reaction was to immediately pull back from the warm gesture, Elliot squeezed her fingers tighter and refused to allow it.

This was their game, their familiar pattern. Even before they'd developed feelings for each other, it was always the same. If one of them was going through something, the other would always interfere, justified or not; then the other would just shut them out in stubbornness. After they'd both tenaciously pushed and pushed, it would just result in inevitable fallout in which neither would speak for weeks at a time. One obviously needed the other, but was too obstinate to let the fact be known. But seeing the torture in Olivia's face, Elliot couldn't allow the precedent to take over; he couldn't abandon her now.

"Elliot, just stop it!" With a powerful jerk backwards of her arm, Olivia freed her hand from Elliot's and almost pulled him from his chair in the same motion. "Stop trying to fix everything, stop telling me not to blame myself, just stop!" Her tone abruptly softened as she locked gazes with him. "I joined the force to help people. I wanted to protect them from all the perps out there… put all the rapists and murderers behind bars, not become one. Say what you want, El, but the numbers don't lie. I've snuffed out more lives than a third of the convicts in Rikers." Her eyes began to gloss over as she kept her stare on Elliot, awaiting his reaction.

"Numbers aren't everything, Liv. Look at the situations, the perps… the reasons. Everything you've ever done has been in self-defense for _other people_. A perp had a gun to a hostage's head, threatening to kill both of you, and your only thoughts are about saving her, even offering to sacrifice you to get her out of harm's way. With everything you knew at the time, in all likelihood it was almost a guarantee that he would have killed her if you hadn't acted first."

"But the magazine was empty…" She added, recalling exactly the case to which he was referring.

"But you didn't know that; there was no way you could have. You just reacted with the instinct all your training has taught you." Elliot found a grateful smile creeping on his lips as he thought back to a day that took place almost six years ago. "Or when an armed, abusive husband holds up his wife in a laundry room and your partner thinks it'd be a good idea to go in and attempt to negotiate. When you saw him point the gun at me, your response was to stop him. You didn't shoot to kill; your intent was to protect me." As smile on his face continued to grow in gratitude, it almost caused the same effect on Olivia, the corners of her lips beginning to curl. "And the same goes for stopping Myers from raping Casey. Think about it Liv, all of that… it _was_ protecting people." When Olivia merely replied with a heavy sigh, he continued. "The past is the past, Liv, and all the regret, second-guessing, and guilt in the world can't change that. Right?"

After a moment of contemplating, Olivia's head slowly began to nod up and down. "I guess not, but I still feel like crap."

"Good," he gave a sincere smile, sliding his hand up on her shoulder. "That's what separates us from the perps." Elliot suddenly found his thumb moving to gently stroke Olivia's cheek. "Well, that and the fact that we have real beds to sleep on instead of concrete slabs. You look exhausted."

Olivia just gave a small, quiet laugh and rolled her eyes. "Why thank you for the subtle hint, El. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," he grinned, rising to his feet. "Now, let's get you back to bed."

Five minutes later, the two were sitting on Olivia's temporary bed for the night, the spare Elliot had for his children's weekend visits. Their legs hung over the edge while Olivia comfortably rested her head on Elliot's shoulder, her forehead against his collarbone. She couldn't really describe it, but to her it seemed like the closer she was to Elliot, the more their skin touched, the safer she was. Her world didn't feel like crumbling underneath her feet when she was in his presence.

Elliot's hand was slid around her shoulder, absentmindedly massaging it. A refreshing silence settled in the room as they just sat there unmoving, both listening to the other's quietly breathing.

Within a few moments, Elliot saw that Olivia was asleep when her breathing had slowed to a subtle, rhythmic pattern. Glancing down, he noticed that his hand had been unconsciously twisting her hair between his fingers. He gently untangled it and used both hands to keep her in her sitting position while he stood up. Once on his feet, he carefully lowered Olivia's head onto the nearest pillow and slid a blanket over her body. His eyes affectionately studied her face a moment before he lightly pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Love ya, Liv," he whispered and gradually began to walk back towards his bedroom.

--XXX--

"It is six o'clock in the morning," Munch declared in displeasure as he and Fin walked into the ME's office and caught sight of Warner. Glancing over his glasses, he raised his eyebrow at her. "You better have a damn good reason for making me drag my ass outta bed this early."

Melinda just returned with a weary glare as she beckoned them into the back room. "At least you got to sleep at all. I've been up all night with Mr. Myers here." In the center of the room was the metal examining table, the outline of a body hidden underneath a thin, white sheet. Warner walked over and grasped the top of the sheet, folding it down to reveal Joseph Meyers from the neck up. With white skin, a bluish hue, and an artificial, emotionless expression, he looked exactly the same as every other corpse the detectives had ever seen.

"You finished the autopsy already?" Fin looked over the body in surprise and saw the thin stitches forming a V-shape over the chest area. Normally it took her at least three or four days to perform the procedure.

"Like I said, I spent all night running preliminary labs and tests." She strolled over to a counter and picked up a manila folder, thick with papers and reports.

"And..?" Munch crossed his arms and impatiently waited for her to reach the point of this meeting.

Glancing up, the thinnest smirk crossed her face as she spoke. "And I have your cause of death."

At the sudden news, Fin and Munch exchanged a quick glance before hesitantly turning back to Warner. John cleared his throat and voiced both their worries. "Just _please_ tell me that it wasn't caused by a blow to the back of the head," he pleaded.

"All right," she shrugged, handing him the report. "It wasn't caused by a blow to the back of the head." When she was met with two hopeful stares, Warner leaned over the table to explain. "When I was doing the autopsy, I came across this." Resting her gloved forefinger and middle finger on either of Myers' nostrils and gently lifted his nose up, pointing towards it with her free hand. "Look and tell me what you see."

Though John kept his distance, Fin dared to glance from a distance. Squinting, he bobbed his head around slightly trying to find something. "What?" He questioned, finally giving up and leaning back. "I don't see anything."

"Exactly," she shrugged. "His nasal cavity is completely hollowed out."

"Like a junkie?" He gave her a skeptical look.

"Or someone who's been snorting crack cocaine on a daily basis for the past few years. The toxicology lab won't be back for another day or so, but based on his behavior and my report, I'd be willing to bet he was using when he attacked Casey and Olivia. All the signs point to him suffering an overdose as the cause of death."

"And the lamp to the back of his head had absolutely nothing to do with it?" John asked again for clarification, making sure Olivia was completely in the clear.

"If he was still alive, he would just have a headache from the small amount of force used."

A grin crossed John's face as he pulled out his cell phone. "I'm calling Liv."

Fin rolled his eyes and shook his head as John hurried out of the room. "And I'll call Cragen. Thanks," he smiled and nodded at Melinda before following after his partner.

--XXX--

Author's Note - So how many people wanted Myers dead again? Well, I listened. Katydidit - ThoughI'm not divulging into after-life, I think you should be pretty happy now. ;)


	17. Reckless Hearts Can Clear A Path

Okay everyone. Author's note at the end of the chapter this time.

**Reckless Hearts Clear A Path Wider Than A Hurricane's Aftermath **

_"Every kiss, before this, was nothing but a waste of breath. And every 'I love you', was just a whoop-de-do. Never knew what I missed, before this." – "Before Me And You" by SheDaisy_

As Olivia pulled her long sleeve t-shirt over her head, the cerulean one with " New York City" written in navy blue on her chest, she wondered if Elliot was awake yet. She added a few final touches to her casual outfit before walking out of the bathroom and heading towards Elliot's bedroom.

Olivia found him sprawled across one edge of the bed, tangled up in sheets that covered little more than what a bathing suit would. With a grin, she also noted that, from what she could see, he appeared to be completely unclothed. Stealthily, she crept towards the empty side of the bed and pushed the covers back. Careful not to disturb Elliot's slumber, she crawled up next to him. She lay on her side and rested her elbow on a pillow so that she could prop her head up against her open palm. Olivia remained still as she watched him with a smile, waiting for him to awaken under her gaze. A little while later Elliot finally stirred, stretching his arms over his head as his eyes flickered open.

"Hey El," she whispered, trying to startle him.

Instead of appearing surprised when he saw her, a huge grin crossed Elliot's drowsy expression. "Liv…" He yawned, moving his hands back down and opening his eyes all the way. "You're up."

"You too," she pointed out. Deciding it was too good an opportunity to pass up, she decided to question him about his bedroom attire. "So," she raised an inquiring eyebrow at him, "do you always sleep naked? Or is that just a special thing you save for when you have guests over?"

Elliot seemed puzzled as he glanced down. He quickly saw, for the first time that morning, the compromising position his tossing and turning throughout the night had earned him. Olivia had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing as he hastily covered himself as best he could. His cheeks were flushed when he looked back up at her. "Oh, shove it, Benson. I have shorts on." He playfully pushed her shoulder as she started laughing.

"Hey," she defended herself between chuckles, "I wasn't complaining or anything."

"Oh, well in that case…" Elliot suddenly moved his hands up and snaked them around Olivia's neck. In one swift motion, he pulled her forward and caused her to fall against his body.

Surprised at first, Olivia quickly relaxed in his arms. As she leaned into the embrace and rested her ear against his bare chest, Elliot was able to completely wrap his arms around her. They both sat silent in the hug for a moment before Olivia spoke.

"As nice as this is," she said sincerely, tilting her head back and pulling from his hold, "I should go."

"But it's only seven thirty," Elliot asserted, not wanting her to leave. "Where are you going?" His hand still casually rested on her hip as he waited for an answer.

"I figured I'd go over to Casey's." Olivia's eyes seemed to instantly cloud over, bringing back the thoughts of last night. "See how she's doing."

Just as Elliot was about to say something, the noise of his cell phone ringing interrupted him. Reaching past Olivia, he swiped the object off of his nightstand and flipped it open. "Stabler," he answered in second nature. "Hey Munch, what is it?" Olivia was half-way up from the bed when Elliot grabbed her hand and stopped her from getting up the rest of the way. His expression anxiously seemed to be signaling something as he glanced up towards her. "Melinda finished the autopsy report on Myers already?"

That sentence instantly made Olivia plop back down on the bed, a mix of curiosity and hesitance on her face as she watched Elliot. Half of her wanted to hear the report, hear that Elliot's reassurances had been right and she wasn't responsible for the lawyer's death, but the other half didn't want to, for fear that it was her fault. Before she had time to stop him or decide for herself, Elliot made her choice for her.

Putting a cautionary finger over his lips in a signal for her to be quiet, he moved the phone away from his ear and pressed the speaker button. Now Olivia had no choice but to listen as she heard Munch's voice on the other end.

"I've been trying to get Olivia's cell for the past hour and a half, but she's not picking up."

Olivia's hand instantly traveled to her jeans pocket to find that her cell phone was missing. After a second of thinking, she looked up at Elliot and mouthed, "I left it at home."

He nodded thoughtfully and brought the phone up to his mouth. "I'll try calling her later, but what about Myers? Does Warner know the cause of death?"

"Oh yes," he answered smugly. "Just another proof that our government's minions are all corrupt druggies. Honestly, how are people supposed to feel safe when their lawyers are back in the bathrooms snorting coke during a trial? I'm telling you, our declining society is going to be the entire Earth's downfall."

An incensed expression appeared on Elliot's face as he rolled his eyes at the other Detective's rants. "Munch, would you just shut up and just tell me what the cause of death was?"

"Hey," the disembodied voice of John objected. "Do you want me to shut up or talk? Can't have it both way-"

"John!" Elliot shouted exasperatedly.

"All right!" John finally gave up on his government-based criticizing. "It's not official because she hasn't gotten the tox labs back yet, but Warner's all but convinced that Myers died of an overdose. His nasal cavity resembled that of a black hole and she says he's been snorting cocaine for years now. Olivia hitting him had absolutely nothing to do with it."

An optimistic look appeared on Elliot's face as he watched his partner's expression. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as I am that the President knew damn well that there were no 'weapons of mass destruction' across-" Unconcerned with hearing any more of his political views, Elliot pushed the talk button and ended the call. An elated smile crossed his face as he caught Olivia's eye.

Her blank expression slowly curled into a grin as well. "Go ahead, say it."

"Say what?" He pretended to give her an innocent, oblivious look.

"You were right." To keep from answering that, Olivia mocked his earlier motions and threw her arms around his neck. She pulled him into a brief hug before releasing him and rising from the bed. "I'll see you later."

"Hey Liv." Elliot seized her hand again and she turned around to look at him expectantly. "What do you say we try the whole date thing again tonight? You can come back here, I'll make us dinner."

"Make? As in you're going to cook it yourself?" Olivia feigned disgust at the very thought.

"I sense you doubt my ability." He raised an eyebrow at her, trying to seem as serious as possible. In all honesty, Elliot had absolutely no cooking skills whatsoever. He'd been raised with the concept that women stayed home and cooked while men went out and worked, so as a kid he'd hardly even stepped foot into a kitchen. Even when he married Kathy after she became pregnant, he had to be the provider, working all day and coming home to dinner already set on the table. Despite that though, he didn't believe it was all that hard as people made it out to be. He was confident that he could pull something off for tonight.

"Boxer Boy," she referred to his lack of clothes, "you'd have to have ability for me to doubt it." Olivia's eyes twinkled as she continued to tease him. "But if you really think you can make dinner, who am I to stand in the way of your imagination?" Grinning, she bent forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "See you tonight then, Martha." Just as she was walking out of his bedroom, Elliot called out Olivia's name. When she turned back to look at him, he picked up one of the pillows from his bed. He threw it towards her and she managed to knock it to the ground before it collided with her face. Olivia just laughed as she picked it up and tossed it back to him. "See ya Stabler."

"See ya Benson." He laughed as well, matching her grin.

--XXX--

As Elliot hurriedly transferred the food from the Olive Garden take-out containers to plates, he glanced up at the clock and frowned. He realized that Olivia should have shown up about twenty minutes ago. Though she'd never been an exact stickler for punctuality, Elliot was beginning to worry. He wasn't sure if her absence could be blamed on something serious, or just the simple fact that she'd stood him up.

Tossing the containers in the trashcan, he'd just made up his mind to try her cell when his doorbell rang. He felt a smile creep on his face as he scurried towards the front of his living room. The light sound of raindrops caught his ear as he yanked the door open.

"Liv!" His voice suddenly jumped a few decibels as he realized that she must have been caught by the rain. A beautiful, light blue dress that cut off just below her knees was now completely drenched as it clung to her skin. A black, button-up sweater was draped over her shoulders and her hands held it tightly shut against her chest. Her hair hung around her scowling face in clumps. "Geez, come in!" He grabbed her elbow and yanked her inside the dry house. Shutting the door against the downpour, Elliot turned back around to face Olivia. "You're soaking wet!" He heard the words blurt from his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Why thanks for the headline! And here I was feeling completely dry." She flipped her head around in order to look at Elliot and, in the process, managed to sprinkle him with droplets of stray water from her hair. Glaring at him, Olivia sarcastically snapped again. "What ever would I do without you?"

Somewhat disgustedly, Elliot wiped the moisture from his face and ignored her outburst in favor of a different approach. "What happened?"

Still clutching her sweater around her, Olivia ignored the water dripping from her body and spoke with vehemence. "I was driving over here when the battery in my car decided to die. Of course, I forgot my cell phone at home, so I couldn't call AAA."

Elliot desperately tried to keep from laughing at Olivia's endearingly flustered appearance and instead raised a dubious eyebrow. "And a taxi was out of the question?"

"Like I didn't try!" She stressed, irritably crossing her arms in two jerky movements. "There were hardly any out and the ones that did drive by didn't stop!"

Unable to ignore how attractive she became when she was angry, a playful grin flashed on Elliot's face. "You did lift your skirt up and try to show some leg, right? Flag one of them down that way?"

The slightest air of a smile crossed her mouth at his joking, but she shrugged it off and continued her rant. "I had to walk in the pouring rain for ten blocks in heels just to get here."

"And completely ruin my carpet," he pointed an outstretched finger towards the puddle of water gathering at her feet. "Here, I'll take your sweater." As he reached out to take her sweater from her, Olivia backed away from his touch. "What is it?" Elliot conscientiously drew his hand back, concerned that he'd made her uncomfortable.

"It's my dress…" She futilely fought the redness that was beginning to appear in her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her chest protectively. "It's um…" The puzzled expression Elliot gave her only added to her discomfiture. "Kinda of sheer material, especially when wet…"

Elliot's lips just curled up mischievously in a huge smirk as he extended his hand again. "Again, I say, I'll take that for you."

"Shut up…" Olivia grumbled to herself, trying to hide her mortification and inciting a laugh from Elliot.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He moved forward and rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder to lead her through the living room and towards the bathroom. "I'll get you some clothes to change into. Meanwhile, you can drip on the bathroom tile instead of on my carpet."

"Ha ha," Olivia dryly commented, though she was smiling too. "I get the picture."

--XXX--

A few minutes later, after Olivia had draped her sopping clothes over the curtain rod in the shower of Elliot's bathroom, she emerged into the living room. Heading into the dining room, she saw Elliot setting two plates of food on the table. When he noticed she was watching him, he glanced up. "Hey sexy," he remarked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh yeah," she rolled her eyes, talking in her appearance. "My dress was nothing compared to this." She had on a pair of black, draw-string pants and a white A-line tee, both of which were Elliot's.

He straightened himself and studied her over earnestly for a moment. "I think you look better like that. You know," he shrugged, "less is more."

A pleased smirk appeared on her face as she sauntered over towards the table. "So, what's on the menu for this wonderful, home-cooked meal you promised me?" Elliot could see that she still doubted that he had any culinary ability in the slightest as she glanced over the plates.

"Your favorite, Caesar salad, breadsticks, and chicken fettuccini Alfredo." Elliot had set the table up beautifully. Two plates of the chicken and pasta mix were set up across from each other, each surrounded by silverware, a folded napkin, and a small side plate. In between the two places set, there were two bowls, one containing the salad and the other the breadsticks. What really caught Olivia's attention, though, were the two lit, red candles softly flickering in the center of the table. Everything was very casual and laid-back, but candles seemed to slightly offset that and create an air of romance.

"Well, I'm still iffy on the whole cooking part," she smiled, "but you can sure set a table with the best of them." She moved closer to Elliot and he immediately winded an arm around her waist.

"So, do you wanna eat now or is there something you'd like to make fun of? Oh, I don't think you've said anything about my clothes yet… Or my receding hairline. That's always a favorite with my kids. Or-" He was suddenly interrupted as Olivia grabbed his head between her palms and pulled his face down to meet hers in a deep, heavy kiss. When she finally pulled away, Elliot was left with a slightly dazed, yet very pleased expression.

Biting her bottom lip in amusement, Olivia met his eyes. "I kid because I care." While Elliot chuckled at her, she just smiled. "And, one more question before we eat." She deliberately glanced around the room, eyeing everything up before turning back to Elliot with an inquiring expression. "How exactly did you manage to get Olive Garden to deliver this late?"

"What?" Before he could stop himself, Elliot's eyes instantly widened in disbelief. He pathetically tried to hide his shocked expression with a blank one. "What are you talking about?" While he tried to maintain his innocence, Olivia just gave him a dubious stare like a mother would give to her lying child. After only a minute of squirming under her gaze, Elliot finally caved. "All right, how'd you know?"

She gave a sinister grin and shrugged as she counted off the reasons on her fingers. "Well, the very idea that you cooked anything was a big hint. I also remember telling you that this was my favorite dish from there a little while back. And how'd I know it was take-out? For one, the bags and containers in the trashcan in the kitchen. And the most evident clue by far…" She reached forward and snatched one of the tan colored napkins from the table. Holding it up, the writing on it he'd missed before was suddenly clear to Elliot. In big, green, cursive letters, "Olive Garden" was spelled on the side. "Just a word of advice, El. If you're gonna use take-out, don't use the napkins they give you."

Once she was through, a grin formed on Elliot's face at the sheer idiocy of his mistake. "Hey, it's not like that was my plan from the beginning. I did try and cook. It just… didn't work out too well…" Puzzlement covered his face as he still had no idea what had gone wrong. He thought he'd followed the recipe exactly.

"What happened? You didn't catch anything on fire, did you?"

"No!" He childishly retorted, folding his arms and glaring at Olivia. "I attempted to cook the chicken, but like I said it didn't work. Somehow, I managed to burn the outside of it while the inside was still cold and raw."

Olivia's lips instantly pried together to stop her laughter as the corners curled up in a smile. "Umm… El? You did, by any chance, remember to thaw the chicken before you cooked it, right?"

"What?" He seemed baffled by the question as he shook his head. "It's supposed to be thawed? You can't cook it frozen?" Olivia's expression was answering enough as her grin grew from ear to ear. "How am I supposed to know that?" Frustrated, he tossed his hands up in the air. "The damn thing should come with some kinda disclaimer or something then."

Olivia softly laughed and put her hand on her shoulder, immediately appeasing Elliot. "Don't worry about it. One of these days I'll have to teach you the basics of cooking, but 'til then…" She slipped her hand around Elliot's waist and pulled their bodies together so their hips were touching. "Take-out is wonderful." Her head tossed back so that she could better see Elliot. Her eyes seemed to twinkle in delighted happiness as she talked. "I can't believe that you remembered this was my favorite. I must have told you that years ago."

"We were working on that rape case where our prime suspect was the manager there. When we went to pick him up you said something about it." Elliot recalled the moment without hesitance, as if remembering it after all this time was nothing special. Olivia's mouth just slightly hung open as she stared at Elliot, almost mesmerized by him. When he noticed this, he gave a genuine, unaware shrug. "What?"

--XXX--

"This is nice," Olivia contently sighed as she cuddled closer against Elliot's shoulder. After dinner they'd drifted over towards the couch and were now nestled together on one end.

"Nice and boring," Elliot commented, tossing his arm over Olivia's. He absentmindedly started to trace small circles on the back of her hand with his finger, only noticing when he felt goose bumps begin to rise on her arm. Realizing it was his touch that was triggering her skin's response, Elliot couldn't help but give a small grin.

Olivia breath caught in her throat as soon as she felt his hand on hers. With a slight cough, she managed to find it long enough to speak again. "Because you're not chasing perps around New York, it's boring? What about enjoying the simple things in life?" Tossing her head up, Olivia flipped her hair out of her eyes and studied Elliot.

His eyes twinkled and his smile grew wider. "Never said I wasn't enjoying it." Showing his point, he cunningly slid his arm closer around her. "Besides, I have the perfect game we can play."

"Game?" Olivia raised her eyebrow and glanced over at him. "What kind of game?"

"Well…" He shifted his weight around, trying to get comfortable. "Not really a game. We've been partners for so long, we probably know almost everything about each other, right?" Olivia nodded her head in agreement and he continued. "But there has to be a few things we haven't told each other." Elliot's tone became vaguely suggestive. "The game's like playing just the 'truth' in truth and dare. I call it… 'I never told you.'"

"Oh, you call it?" She smirked at his choice of words.

"Yep, my game," he flashed his own grin right back. "I'll start. Let's see…" Elliot pursed his lips together in thought. "Okay, I never told you that… my favorite color is red."

Olivia's face humorously fell with that sentence. "That's it?" She questioned dubiously. "Your big secret is you like the color red?"

He impatiently clucked his tongue at her and shook his head teasingly. "Well, I figured I'd start with something a little lighthearted before I started drudging up old, heart wrenching secrets."

"Eh, fine. Be that way, then." Olivia smiled and started to think up her mediocre confession. "Oh, 'kay, I have one. But before I even say anything," she pointed an accusing finger at her partner, "I wanna make it clear now that if you make fun of me, I will have no choice but to kick your ass. Got it?"

Elliot quietly laughed as he nodded his head in understanding. "Ooo, threatening bodily harm, this oughta be good."

"I can't believe I'm actually telling you this," she mumbled, her cheeks turning red despite her best efforts to hide her embarrassment. With a final deep breath, she glanced away from his stare and decided to go the "quick and painless" route. "I never told you that I like country music." Her eyes ventured a peek at Elliot to see his face somewhat emotionless and blank, a sign she took to mean he was only seconds away from making some crack about her. "I'm not talking a diehard fan or anything; I just listen to it every now and then." Olivia carefully treaded into clarifying the subject.

"Liv's a banjo music kinda gal?" Truthfully surprised, he made a dismal attempt to cover his expression with a small smile. "I never would have guessed it."

"It is not banjo music!" She instinctively responded, absolutely hating any and all kind of stereotypes. "I'm serious," she insisted, sensing laughter about to start any minute. "The modern music is just like easy-listening stuff. Besides, I like other genres too, not just country."

About a million different comebacks and insults were floating around Elliot's head as he kept his lips tightly pressed together, determined not to break his oath. Just as he was about to lose control of his mouth, he decided to take his turn. "I never told you that my name was almost Elton."

A chuckle escaped Olivia before she could catch herself. "Elton? Are you serious?"

He nodded, finally releasing the iron lock keeping his lips together. "It was my great-grandfather's name on my dad's side. Apparently, when he was on his deathbed, he made my dad swear that he'd name his first born son after him. Luckily, after spending twenty-three hours of labor screaming her head off, my mom managed to negotiate it down to Elliot."

"Well, that's definitely a good thing," Olivia grinned, resting her open palm against his chest while she stared at his shirt. "I don't see myself working with an Elton unless he's wearing a white suit, rose-tinted glasses, and playing a keyboard." She met Elliot's eye long enough to assure him that her jesting was all in good fun.

"All right hypocrite, your turn." He rolled his eyes and gave her shoulder a gentle shove.

"Uh, let's see…" She bit her bottom lip and tried to come up with something simple. The more Olivia thought it, the more she realized this game was probably going to be one-sided, seeing as how Elliot already knew almost everything about her. "I never told you that…" A light bulb suddenly went off in her head. "About a week before I joined the SVU unit, I saw you at a press conference." The memory brought a grin to her face. "You were dressed up in full police uniform, even had that dorky hat they make us wear. I was still waiting for a call back from the 1-6, to see if I'd gotten the job or not and I remember watching you speak and thinking to myself that if all the guys in the unit looked like you, I was gonna have a hell of a time focusing on my work and trying not to stare at them."

Elliot chuckled at her inner monologue and couldn't help but push the subject. "So you liked what you saw?" He joked, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Oh yeah," she nodded, unable to stop her widening grin or suppress her laughter. "Then when Cragen first introduced me to you, I was so mortified! I couldn't believe it."

Realization suddenly hit Elliot as he thought back to that day. "That explains it then." When Olivia glanced at him in puzzlement, he elucidated. "You seemed incredibly nervous when we first met, so I tried joking around to break the ice, congratulating the Captain on finally picking somebody hot… You looked like you wanted to crawl into a hole and die."

Olivia slightly blushed as he described her feelings dead on. "What about you, Stabler? What were your first impressions of me?"

Elliot instantly became shifty when she asked that, refusing to meet her eye again. "Oh… um… You don't wanna know that. Really, it's not important. Anyway, moving on…" His voice faded when he caught Olivia's expression and saw that he wasn't getting out of the situation that easily.

"No," she confirmed his fears and shook her head. "Come on, El. I wanna know." Her eyes scanned over his face, attempting to uncover whatever it was he wasn't telling her.

Elliot looked up, away from Olivia's gaze, and sighed unhappily. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having with the woman he was dating. "All right," he finally caved reticently, glancing back down at Olivia, still in his arms. "But only on the understanding that you wanted to know, so you can't get mad at me." Now puzzled and incredibly curious, Olivia just responded by nodding her head in agreement. With a deep breath and another sigh, Elliot finally told her. "In the first few weeks after I met you… I thought you were gay."

"What?" Olivia's mouth fell open in astonishment as she chuckled. "You thought I was gay?" Repeating the statement herself only made her laugh harder, baffling Elliot as he watched this.

"You don't appear to be all that offended," he noted, raising an eyebrow at her. "That's not exactly the reaction I was expecting."

"Offended?" She scoffed, staring at him like he was crazy for suggesting such a thing. Shaking her head, she explained with a smile, "I think that's hilarious."

Elliot narrowed his eyes as he studied her, trying to figure out if this was some kind of test or if she was actually being serious. "Why hilarious?"

"Because…" She shrugged like it was obvious. "You somehow always seemed to find out about each and every guy I dated. I just thought I was kinda straightforward with everything." She cocked her head to the side and looked up at Elliot. "What made you think I was gay?"

Somewhat surprised at her description of herself, Elliot paused for a moment before answering Olivia. "It just seemed like every case we had involving someone who was gay, anytime their sexuality was brought into question or used against them you'd always jump to their defense. That and you had that whole butch thing going for you."

Olivia's eyes widened and she seemed aghast by the suggestion. "What 'butch thing'?" She appeared more offended by this than by Elliot's earlier impression of her as she intentionally shoved his shoulder.

"Oh, like you don't know what I'm talking about." He rolled his eyes roguishly and nudged her back. "You had more blazers and slacks in your wardrobe than half of the guys in the squad combined."

"Elliot, I was working in the police force. Women were still new back than and were stereotyped into being too feminine and not suited for the job. The better blending in you did with the guys, the less crap they gave you. Besides, how was I supposed to dress? Prance around in a poofy pink Barbie dress? Chase perps around in heels?"

"All right," he caved, holding his hands up to surrender that portion of the debate. "But that doesn't explain why you hacked off all your hair that one year. The first time I saw you after you did that, I swear it looked exactly like the haircut Dickie had just gotten."

Olivia just clucked her tongue in annoyance as the embarrassment grew on her face. "I was tired of the style it was in," she attempted to explain. "One day it was really bothering me, so I, spur of the moment, just decided to get it all cut off. Doesn't make me butch, which wouldn't mean I'm gay anyway and that very insinuation is completely stereotypical," she threw in with a raised eyebrow, "and it didn't look that bad."

Elliot just smiled and continued to gaze at her. "Not necessarily, but I liked it better before." He paused slightly and his expression turned slightly worried. "You know I was just playing around before," he suddenly asked. "I wasn't trying to seriously make fun of you."

"Ah… Stabler, ya big lug." She sent a playful, soft punch to his shoulder. "I know you don't think that, at least anymore. Besides, if I were gay, then this really wouldn't work out, now would it?"

"Nope," he shook his head and stated with a serious expression. "'Spose not." Elliot quickly lost his somber appearance in favor of a grin as he pulled Olivia closer towards him again. Turning his head slightly to the side and raising his arm, he gently pushed his hand forward. His fingers brushed against Olivia's cheek, sweeping her hair to the side of her face as they traveled towards her ear. "You know, I really do think you look much more beautiful with long hair." His eyes dotingly gazed across her face, as his hand traveled down her neck.

Olivia almost blushed as she shivered under Elliot's stare and touch. The adoration he observed her with was so intense, so pure… she couldn't stop herself. In one swift motion, she cupped Elliot's head in her hand and brought her lips crashing down onto his. As she leaned forward, Olivia's weight abruptly pushed Elliot back so that he was flat against the couch with her on top of him. Deepening the kiss, her tongue suddenly found its way past Elliot's lips and lingered for a minute until she pulled away. Locking eyes with him, she became lost in the moment. "I love you, Elliot," she blurted without a second thought.

Just as Elliot opened his mouth to say the same, Olivia's expression suddenly changed. Her eyes widened in fear and shock, like she'd just done something horrible. She pushed herself off of her partner and got to her feet. "Liv?" Worried and puzzled, Elliot sat up as well and watched her.

Olivia hurriedly ran to the front door, practically lunging at her shoes as she picked them up. "I… I… I have to go…" She finally managed, clumsily shoving an arm through her still slightly damp sweater.

Befuddled by her abrupt shift in behavior, Elliot got to his feet and rushed after her. "Liv, wait!" He reached out and grabbed her elbow just as she opened the front door. "What's going on?" He stared at the back of Olivia's head and waited for her to answer him, refusing to release his grip.

Biting her lip, Olivia felt her eyes begin to mist over as she realized that Elliot wouldn't let her run away this time. Barely speaking above a whisper, she managed only two words before her voice caught in her throat. "The game…" Her back was still turned to him.

"The game?" Elliot repeated in confusion, her explanation failing to clarify things at first. As he thought about it though, it finally clicked. "'I never told you.' That's the first time you've said you love me." His brows furrowed and he let go of her arm and stood back, not sure what to make of her contradicting actions. "Look, Olivia. If you don't really feel that way, it's all right."

Sensing the hurt in his hollow voice, Olivia whipped around to face him. "No, El, it's not that." Tears glistened in her eyes as her head continued to gently shake back and forth. Immediately feeling an innate need to comfort her, Elliot leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his hand. His thumb slid to the corner of her eye, wiping the moisture away. Olivia carefully tugged herself away from him and walked back towards the couch, kicking her shoe off to the side. A quiet sigh came from her lips as she curled up at the end of the sofa. She sent a glance up to Elliot and he instantly took a seat next to her.

For the next five minutes, as her tears still threatened to pour, Olivia attempted to work up the courage to answer for actions. Elliot's voice was the first to break the silence. "Liv?" He reassuringly slid his hand over her shoulder and gently squeezed. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Abandoning all thought processes, Olivia inhaled deeply and chose to ad-lib her explanation. "When I was in college, I met this guy, Mark." The spite in her tone became evident as she spoke his name and kept her gaze blankly settled on her lap. "We dated for about two months and I thought he was incredible. It was the first time I'd ever really fallen in love with someone. One night, we were in bed together and I thought then was as good a time as any to tell him," she shrugged, beginning to nervously play with the hem of the A-line shirt she was still wearing. "So I told him I loved him, and…" Her head began shaking in disbelief and her voice faded out, as if she barely believed her story herself. Olivia's voice became a combination of stifled outrage and hurt. "And he said 'ditto.' When I woke up the next morning he was gone and I never heard from him again. Turns out, that night was just a forewarning for each of my relationships afterwards. Every time I got close to someone… fell in love with them… they would get through using me, the only reason they were with me in the first place, and just run away."

While Olivia recounted the pain and horrible relationships in her past, Elliot began to understand. No man had ever treated her the way she deserved to be treated, with respect and love. She'd never been able to find trust in anyone in her life, so what guarantee did she have that this relationship wouldn't follow familiar roads and end up hurting her as well?

"That's why I'm always dating different guys," Olivia continued, finally confessing the truth she had always tried to deny before. "I never let anyone in and I never got attached. So once a guy found out about my parents or my job and decided to take off, as they all did… it wouldn't end up hurting me as much." A stray teardrop managed to slip down Olivia's cheek as her stare remained fixated on her lap, too ashamed to look Elliot in the eye. As she felt his gaze on her, the first words out of Elliot's mouth were not ones she expected to hear.

"Come here, Liv." Moving forward and closing in any remaining space between them, Elliot pulled Olivia into his embrace. His arms squeezed compassionately tighter around her and idly began massaging her back with his hand. "So, you're worried about me abandoning you, like all the other guys you've been with?" He whispered into her ear, brushing his cheek against her hair. Though Olivia remained silent, Elliot didn't need her conformation.

"Liv, look at me." Sliding his hand up, he gently grasped her chin in his palm and tilted her head back so that she was looking him in the eyes. When he was satisfied that she wouldn't turn away again, he dropped his hand back into his lap. "You said that they'd leave you after they found out about your life, right?" She slowly nodded her head, unable to tear her gaze away from him. "Well, don't I already know about all of that? Your mother, your father, your job… everything that you've been through? And I have always stuck by your side. What makes you think I won't do that now?" He searched her face, trying to find an answer.

Olivia lightly sighed and bit her lip again, racking her mind for a way to make him understand. "Because we were just partners then. There was no commitment with that. But now… things have changed."

"Liv, listen to yourself," he tenderly smiled. "Your logic is worse than Munch's. You say that I was always there for you when we were just partners, but now that we're something more, you think I'm going to turn around and run? I know guys haven't been there for you in the past, but trust me when I say I am not those guys. I'm not going to run out on you like they did. Trust me on that, Liv."

Indescribably touched by his words, Olivia had known Elliot long enough to know that each word he spoke was completely sincere. Despite that, one more thing still troubled her. "Elliot? Can you just promise me one thing?" He nodded without hesitation. "I've had my heart shattered so many times by so many different men, I don't think I could handle being hurt again." Her eyes began to mist over once more. "Whatever you do, whatever happens between us… just promise me that you won't break my heart."

Elliot instantly wrapped his arms around her again, drawing her into another hug. "Never, Liv," he swore to her. "Never…" Leaning back, he gently kissed her forehead. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you too," she said, this time without hesitation or inhibition as she kissed Elliot's lips again. Smiling, she pulled back and looked at him. "I love you too."

--XXX--

"Don't go to sleep…" Elliot wearily mumbled, nudging his lethargic partner as she lay next to him on the couch. Both were comfortably snuggled underneath a blanket, still embraced. They'd continued talking late into the night until exhaustion had gotten the best of them. Now they were both barely clinging onto consciousness.

"Talking to you or me?" Squinting at him, Olivia noticed his eyes were half shut. Taking that as excuse for her to do the same, she allowed her eyelids to completely close and buried the side of her head against his neck.

"Both," he yawned. "Can't sleep…"

"Why?" Olivia groaned in protest, desperate for a little rest.

"You can't stay again. Tomorrow… IAB… eight o'clock…" Elliot didn't even attempt to form complete sentences from his equally jumbled thoughts.

"I'll get up early then," she huffed sleepily. "Now shut it and let me sleep. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere."

Her statement caught Elliot's ear and he opened his eyes. Glancing down at the half-asleep woman next to him, a grin crossed his face. "Good," he whispered. "Me neither."

Olivia's lips curled into a smile as well as she looked up and met his gaze. "You know what? I think we finally got this date thing down."

"Definitely," he agreed with a chuckle.

--XXX--

Okay reviewers, here we go. Now I am painfully aware that between chapters 15 and 16 I lost most of my reviewers because of the long time it took me to update. And again, I'm sorry. But for all those of you who are still reading, I have a choice for you. Now, I can either go one of two ways. I can continue to update at the pace I have been lately,(Because of all my school work and personal responsibilities, I hardly have time to write and update.) or I can end the story now or within a chapter or two. Honestly, I only write this because of my readers and reviewers, so if no one's reading this, I don't want to continue to drag it out. So, drop a review and let me know, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again and happy holidays:)


	18. Some Hearts Just Get Lucky Sometimes

Wow... you all just bowled me over with the reviews! Squee I love you guys so much! Sorry I've been on such a hiatus, but I had the holidays and then mid-terms for school. I had to study like mad orrisk failingand having my mom take my computer away.But I got all A's so my computer's safe and sound. :) Like the majority of you guysruled, I'm gonna stick with this and keep it going... well past two chapters, trust me. ;) Now that my coarse load has lessened, I'll probably get chapters up every two weeks or so. **Just make sure you guys keep reviewing every now and then!** The less reviews I get, the less I'll be convinced to keep the story going. :D Love y'all!  
**Chapter Note:** This isn't much, just sort of ties up some loose ends so I can move on with the story. Hope you guys like it!

**Some Hearts Just Get Lucky Sometimes**

_"I didn't think I had the courage to stand up on this stage. Then you reached into my heart, and you found the melody, and if there ever was somebody who made me believe in me... it was you._ - "It's Your Song" by Garth Brooks

"IAB… sucks…" Casey declared, slightly buzzed by the couple of drinks she'd already had.

"Welcome to our world," Olivia smiled amusedly, sitting across the booth from the ADA and sipping her soda. "Maybe taking you to a bar to wind down wasn't such a great idea," she wondered aloud, raising her eyebrow in doubt and concern as she took in Casey's state. Though she'd only had a few beverages, they were hard liquor and she was normally a light drinker. It wouldn't take much to get her wasted and it didn't seem like she planned to stop the rounds anytime soon as she brought the glass to her lips again. "Seriously, Casey, slow down." Olivia wrapped her fingers around the glass and tried to pull it away from her. When Casey saw the anxiety and trepidation in her actions, she immediately released her hold.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, looking down at the table in shame of her behavior. She had a tendency to drink heavily and go overboard with the alcohol when cases really got to her and she knew it. Alcohol had never been something she wanted to turn to when she had a problem and she was glad that lately she had Olivia to keep her strong.

"It's all right," Olivia reassured her with a small smile and a nod. "I just wanna make sure you're okay and don't try to handle this the wrong way."

"Liv, I want to thank you for all that you've done for me. With Myers and IAB, it's meant so much to me that I have you here to help me through it all. I'm just so grateful for everything, especially that 'girl's day in,'" she grinned, recalling the detective's visit to her house yesterday. She arrived with two plastic bags filled with every junk food known to man, a bunch of tear-jerking chick-flicks, about a gallon of various Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors, and the latest issues of _Redbook_ and _Cosmopolitan_. They'd spent the entire day just hanging around like best friends, always talking to provide some interaction, but never really saying anything important. As far as they were both concerned, that's all they wanted at the time, somebody that understood their feelings without actually having to voice them.

Olivia chuckled and folded her hands on the table. "So I didn't go too overboard then?"

"No!" She assured her with a big grin. "I haven't just hung out like that since I was in high school. I had fun."

Laughing, Olivia heard a group of footsteps coming towards her. Shooting a glance up, she saw Cragen, John, Fin, and Elliot walking towards their table. Still smiling, she nodded towards them.

"Hey," she sighed, sliding over in the booth to allow room for another person. A grin discreetly flashed across her lips as Elliot almost knocked their colleagues over in order to get to the empty seat first. The other three surrounded the table as well, Cragen sitting next to Casey and John and Fin pulling up chairs to the end of the table.

"You two look like you're having fun," Cragen noted with happy surprise, thinking they'd both be fuming after their encounter with Internal Affairs.

Casey smiled and glanced down as she idly pushed her glass around in a circular motion, twirling around the liquor inside. Gazing up at Olivia, her eyes suddenly twinkled. "Yep," she agreed, "tons of fun. We started a club." Olivia rolled her eyes with a grin at her, slightly embarrassed that she had brought that up.

"What club?" Fin asked curiously, sitting in his chair backwards as he leaned towards the table.

"The She-Women Man Hater's Club," Olivia answered solemnly, evoking grins from all the guys at the table.

"So, today didn't go too well I take it?" Elliot inferred with a raised eyebrow, glancing back and forth between the two women.

"Understatement of the night," Olivia sighed in exasperation, taking a drink of her soda.

"Yeah," Casey agreed with a nod of her head, starting the recollections of the day's events. "IAB is under the impression that Olivia and I are a modern-day Thelma and Louise, set out to kill any man that's ever done us wrong."

Olivia quickly interjected, helping Casey tell the story. "Their theory is that because Myer's brought up my attack in court and broke up with her a few years back, we decided we should get revenge by killing him. So she led him into her office-"

"Where I used my…" Casey dramatically flipped her hair back for effect and batted her eyelashes, "_womanly ways_ to seduce him-"

"And then I came in," Olivia finished. "_Despite_ Casey's and my collaborating stories and the footage on the security camera in the office, they still managed to interrogate us for a good four hours before they finally gave up."

"You have no _idea_ how hard it was for me to keep my mouth after they finally let us go without so much as an apology," Casey groaned in frustration, clenching her hands into fists.

"Trust me," Cragen assured her with the faintest hint of a smile. "I think we've all been in that situation before."

"More times than I'd care to remember," Munch spoke up, resting one of his elbows against the table. "So how long did they jam you up for anyway?" He asked, that being the closest thing to his condolences that they'd ever get.

"Being the 'victim' and everything," Casey retorted in detestation of IAB's choice of words, "I didn't get anything."

Biting the side of her lip, Olivia stared at the bubbling liquid in the cup in her hands and recalled what she had been informed of as she was being shoved out of the Internal Affairs building. "Two weeks on desk duty, providing they don't find any reason to extend it." She balled her hand in a fist and scratched her forehead with her thumb, feeling completely strained by the day.

"That's not too bad," Elliot reassured her with a shrug. Finding the most platonic gesture possible, he patted her on the back in consolation. "Besides, I'm kinda back-logged on the paperwork for a few of my cases. I could sure use some help…" Being completely unsubtle, he nudged her with his elbow and smiled.

Knowing he was just attempting to take her mind off of her desk duty, Olivia played along and shot him a dubious, not-on-your-life stare.

In the background, a microphone crackled to life and caught the attention of everybody at the table. "Attention folks! May I have your attention, please?" All six pairs of eyes glanced towards the front of the bar to see a pair of curtains pulled back to reveal a small stage. One of the bartenders was standing in front of the stage, speaking into a microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our monthly Karaoke Contest!" While a few people absentmindedly started clapping, the guys incredulously looked at Casey and Olivia.

"You picked a karaoke bar?" Fin raised his eyebrow in disgust. "Man, the last thing I wanna do right now is listen to a bunch of drunks screaming their heads off in some pathetic attempt to sing." Olivia opened her mouth to tell him that it was Casey's idea, but the announcer caught her off in mid-sentence.

"If this is your first time here, the rules are quite simple. Anyone can participate. Just sign up and look through the song list to find what you wanna sing. Then we'll call people up, one by one, and let you do your thing. Then we bring everybody back up and let the audience decide who wins. Be quick folks, because the sign-up time starts now and we'll be closing it in about five minutes. Good luck!" With that, the bartender clicked off the microphone and headed back-stage.

"Olivia, you should sign up!" Casey exclaimed excitedly, the presence of everybody else seeming to lighten up her mood. "You'd do great!"

"Ha, are you kidding me?" Olivia laughed at the very thought. "No, I wouldn't." She shook her head in amusement. "I think you've been drinking a little too much there, Casey."

"Really Liv," she repeated. "I've heard you sing before and you're fantastic. You would be fine up there."

Realizing she was serious, Olivia's eyes widened and she began shaking her head with more force. "Oh no. No way," she held a hand up. "There is no way I'm going up there and making a fool of myself."

"Aw, come on, Liv." Elliot nudged her elbow with his, grinning from ear to ear. "You'd be singing with a bunch of drunken people, in front of a bunch of drunken people. You won't make a fool of yourself, at least, no more than anybody else. Besides, it'll be fun," he insisted, thinking that this would be the perfect plan to take her mind off of things at work.

"If it's so fun, you do it then!" She retorted, becoming more and more fearful of the idea of going on stage and singing in front of this entire room.

"Benson, you need to loosen up." Casey suddenly rose up from the booth and grabbed Olivia's hand. "You're doing this if I have to drag you up there."

"Casey! What the hell!" Olivia applied resistance to her arm as she tried to pull her from the booth as well. After a minute of Casey working alone in her endeavors, Elliot joined in out of the blue and gave her a gentle shove. The motion was enough to finally knock the detective out of her seat. Standing up to face a proud Casey, Olivia crossed her arms and glared at her. "I told you, there's no way _in hell_ I'm doing that."

--XXX--

_I can't believe I'm doing this…_ Olivia inwardly moaned, nervously picking at her fingernails as she waited off to the side of the stage. She was next to go on and the man singing now had just began crooning an off-key version of Usher's "Confessions, Part II."

"Liv, relax." She felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Casey standing next to her. "Just have fun, you'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say, she grumbled under her breath, surveying the crowd again. Talking in front of a large group of people had been a nightmare for her in high school, to the point that every other day she had skipped public speaking class. Granted, she certainly wasn't shy anymore, but singing? That was completely new to her aside from humming the occasional tune in the shower or singing to her steering wheel.

"Look, just imagine everyone in their underwear," Casey offered her a bit of juvenile advice that had helped her in the past. "Or just focus on one spot in the room, anywhere or anything, and just pretend like you're just singing to that. Better yet," her face suddenly erupted into a huge grin, "combine them. Focus on Elliot and imagine him in his underwear," she winked suggestively at the detective and laughed.

"Shut up, Novak." Olivia desperately tried to stop herself from blushing at Casey's statement. _I don't need to imagine,_ she thought to herself, spreading a grin across her own face as she remembered yesterday.

"All right, that was Corey with _Confessions, Part II _by Usher." Olivia moaned to herself as the bartender announced the finish of the last person before her. "Now put your hands together for Olivia, a first-timer to our little contest here. She'll be singing _Some Hearts_ by Carrie Underwood." As he walked off of the stage, he handed Olivia the microphone and whispered, "Good luck."

She just nodded and took a deep breath before slowly walking to the center of the stage. As soon as Elliot, John, Fin, and Cragen saw her, they burst into applause and cheers. Feeling overwhelmed, Olivia was just about to run off stage when Elliot suddenly caught her eye. Sitting behind the other three so that they couldn't see him, he silently mouthed the words "Love you," and flashed her a thumbs up signal.

Instantly feeling relaxed, Olivia heard the music start and recalled why she choose the particular song in the first place. Discreetly focusing her attention on Elliot, she blocked out everyone else and pretended that she was performing only for him. She took a deep breath and softly began singing.

_"I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky  
Always stumblin' around in circles  
But I must have stumbled into something  
Look at me, am I really alone with you? _

_"I wake up feeling like my life's worth living  
Can't recall when I last felt that way  
Guess it must be all this love you're giving  
Never knew, never knew, it could be like this"_

As Elliot sat back and watched Olivia, his mouth dropped open in awe. He'd heard the song before and she sang it just as good, if not better, than the original recording artist herself. He had no idea that her voice was so beautiful and entrancing.

Though she started off waveringly, Olivia quickly gained confidence with each line as she began belting out the song.

_"But I guess…  
Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks  
Some hearts have the stars on their side  
Some hearts, they just have it so easy  
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes  
Some hearts just get lucky, lucky sometimes_

_"Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me?  
You're the last thing my heart expected  
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody?  
Someone who, someone who, makes me feel like this_

_"Well I guess…  
Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks  
Some hearts have the stars on their side  
Some hearts, they just have it so easy  
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes  
Some hearts just get lucky… sometimes_

_"Ooo… even hearts like mine  
Get lucky, lucky sometimes  
Even hearts like mine, oh _

_"Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks  
Some hearts have the stars on their side  
Yeah, some hearts, they just have it so easy  
Some hearts just get lucky… sometimes _

_Some hearts, they just have it so easy  
Some just get lucky some times  
Some hearts just get lucky… sometimes" _

As Olivia's voice rang out the last note, the entire room burst into wild applause and hoots. A huge grin spreading on her face, she saw all the guys, including Elliot, were on their feet cheering. Following suit, a few other tables even stood as well. The minute Olivia stepped down from the stage, she stepped in front of Casey, who also had a grin plastered on her face.

"See?" She boasted, playfully shoving Olivia's shoulder. "Didn't I tell you you'd do great?"

Olivia's grin just widened as she floated on the natural high of the moment. "Okay, you were right, that was fun. But I _swear_…" Her expression suddenly hardened and she narrowed her eyes at the ADA. "If you ever pull something like this again I won't be so forgiving."

Smiling, Casey held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, never again."

--XXX--

"Who knew we had the next American Idol contender right under our noses?" Munch remarked, smacking Olivia on the back in congratulations as the group walked out the front doors of the building. They all decided to call it a night an hour or so after the karaoke contest.

"John, I won a contest at a karaoke bar," Olivia informed him irritably, rolling her eyes. "Not American Idol." Though she had to admit, juvenile and stupid as the whole thing was, it did feel pretty good all the same as she glanced down at the tiny trophy in her hands she'd been awarded. It consisted of a block of gold colored plastic with a small microphone shaped object on top.

"Still," Fin remarked with a slight smirk, "who knew you had a set of pipes on ya like that?"

"Star struck much?" Olivia rolled her eyes, only managing to keep a serious expression momentarily before erupting into a grin again. She wrapped her coat tighter against the cold air and noticed everyone else appeared to be doing the same.

"Well, you bask in your new stardom," Cragen mused, watching the detectives interact. "I'm heading home." Glancing over, he saw Casey was a little tipsy, occasionally wavering on her feet. "Need a ride, Novak?" He asked in concern, shooting a cautionary hand out as she tipped forward.

Squinting her eyes due to the pain of her newly formed headache, she nodded and mumbled an incoherent "Yeah."

"You two be careful," Olivia warningly called after them as Don helped Casey over to his car, holding out his arms in case she fell. Once the car finally pulled out of the parking lot, the detective turned back to the group of people still in front of her.

"Well, I guess we should be heading out too," shrugged John as he began walking towards Fin's car. "C'mon partner, you're my ride." He smacked Fin's shoulder and gently pulled him backwards.

"I swear, man," Fin groaned, playfully rolling his eyes at John. "You're gonna have to hire your own chauffeur one of these days."

"Why do that when I have you?" They both chuckled and headed to the car. "See you guys tomorrow," he called over his shoulder.

"See ya," Elliot and Olivia said in unison, watching them get into Fin's car.

"So," he started, turning back to Olivia with a grin on his face. "You think they're gone?"

Frowning at him in slight confusion, she nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, why?"

Still flashing his boyish and, in Olivia's opinion, incredibly cute grin, Elliot didn't say anything. Instead, he slipped his hands into hers and gently tugged her forward until their lips finally met.

Though surprised at first, the corners of Olivia's mouth curled up as she melted into the kiss. As Elliot finally pulled away, she quickly stifled the disappointed sigh the tried to escape her.

"What was that for?" She inquired almost breathlessly, glancing up at him with a glowing smile.

Releasing his grip on Olivia's hands, he slid his arms down around her waist until their bodies were pressed together. "'Cause I've wanted to do that all night," he explained in a whisper. "That was an excellent song by the way," he noted, nodding towards the trophy she still had.

"Oh, really?" She wondered, trying to suppress a smile while she innocently flirted with him, brushing her hand down his chest.

To Elliot's amazement, he somehow managed to keep a serious expression as he spoke. "Yeah, I think Munch was really flattered to find out that you felt that way about him."

Olivia's jaw immediately dropped, first in shock, then in horror at the thought. She was about to make it clear _just_ how wrong Elliot was when she abruptly noticed the grinning expression that had appeared on his face. "You're kidding?" Still dazed by the sudden shock, it took her a few more seconds until she realized he was. "You have got to have _the_ most twisted sense of humor I've ever seen! I cannot believe you!" Raising a fist, she punched Elliot with enough force to lightly push his shoulder back.

"Oh, come on," he reasoned with a chuckle, wrapping his fingers around her fist and lowering it to her side. "You know you love me." Gazing down into her eyes, his mouth curled up into a smile.

"Only because you're cute," she informed him with a smirk, like that was obvious. "Otherwise, _you_ would be history, my friend."

"Oh, yeah?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, crossing his arms.

"Yeah," she nodded, crossing her arms as well to mock Elliot.

"Well, you think you could let your cute friend give you a ride home?"

"Thought you'd never ask," she replied with a grin.

--XXX--

"Since when is rush hour at…" Olivia sluggishly glanced down towards her wristwatch and stared at the dial. "Twelve-thirty in the morning?" Rolling her head back up, her eyes squinted against the numerous shining tail lights in front of them.

"Welcome to New York," Elliot mused with a grin, propping his chin up on his fist and watched her from the corner of his eye. "Can't tell which is worse, the traffic or crime." His sedan remained unmoving, as it had been for the past fifteen minutes, give or take a few feet every now and then.

Knowing how true that was, Olivia just sighed. "So," she motioned up the street with a wave of her head, "traffic jam or accident?"

"Accident," he replied resolutely, gazing ahead as well. "This late, probably a drunk driver or something." Doing a mental double take, Elliot bit the inside of his cheek. He discreetly glanced over at his partner to see if his words had hit a sore spot concerning her mother. Normally, he was able to watch himself and keep from saying anything that might open old wounds for her, and he always kicked himself when he slipped up.

"Mmm," she absent-mindedly nodded and mumbled in agreement, unfazed by his comment. "Isn't it just mind-boggling, the number of people that go out and drink every night?" Olivia inquired, staring at the bar next to them on the side of the street and watching a group of people pile out of a car and head inside.

"Like us?" Elliot replied with levity, referring to the entire squad.

"No…" She shook her head, seeming to be deeply lost in thoughts. "I just… I…" Her mouth just hung open as she shrugged, trying to find the right words to explain herself. After racking her brain for another minute or so, Olivia gave up and remained still. A blanket of comfortable quietness settled in the car.

Just as the traffic began to move and Elliot was finally able to go, he broke the silence. "Speaking of drinking," he tried to innocently work his question into the conversation, "I noticed you didn't tonight." Keeping his tone friendly, he hoped that Olivia's answer would be able to soothe his worries.

"So?" She shrugged, indifferently raising an eyebrow at him. "What's the big deal?"

"No deal," he assured her, deciding to back off the topic. "I'm just curious, that's all."

A smirk suddenly grew on Olivia's face. "Have you learned nothing from the well-documented perils of out feline friend?" Choking back a laugh at Elliot's bewildered expression, she continued. "Curiosity did kill the cat, after all."

Elliot rolled his eyes at Olivia's comment, even though he was laughing. "I think you're hanging around Munch too much. You seem to be picking up his inane sense of humor."

"Right," Olivia said sarcastically with a chuckle. "The day I start conspiring against the government is the day you should start worrying."

"Okay, duly noted." He grinned as he finally pulled the car up to the curb in front of Olivia's apartment building. "Here we are," he announced, turning off the ignition. Both detectives simultaneously opened their respective car doors and got to their feet. When Olivia heard the sound of a second door slamming shut aside from her own, she turned around and realized Elliot had gotten out of the car as well.

"What are you doing?" She watched in curiosity as he circled around the hood and made his way towards her. A vexed look glared in her eyes. "Are you walking me inside?"

Knowing she was seconds away from going off on one of her 'equality' rants about how she should be treated no different than any other cop, Elliot quickly slipped his arm over her shoulders with a grin. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not a civilian," she informed him, stubbornly fighting against the smile that was trying to appear on her lips.

"Ah…" Elliot nodded his head in understanding. "But you are unarmed."

"So that means I need a body guard?" Olivia focused her vision forward as they began walking towards the front of her building, Elliot's arm still around her.

"Damn, Liv. Can't a guy just walk his incredibly gorgeous partner up to her apartment without being bombarded by accusations and questions?" He couldn't help but grin as Olivia's face turned a deep red color and she averted her glance to the ground, hiding her face. Contented that he'd finally stopped her complaints, he gently massaged her shoulder with his fingertips in a comforting motion as they walked inside.

Once they arrived outside her front door, Elliot lingered hesitantly, unsure what he should do. When Olivia walked inside her apartment, leaving the door wide open, he took that as his cue. Walking inside, he grabbed the handle and pulled it shut behind him.

"Want something… to drink?" Olivia asked him, yawning in the middle of her sentence.

He stifled a smile and noticed the drowsy state she was in. "Nah, I'm good. And I should probably be going anyway, let you get to sleep."

"Or you could stay," she suggested with a flirtatious grin, sauntering closer towards him.

"As in stay the night?" Elliot clarified, both of them knowing that the suggestion had nothing to do with sex, just the other's company. "I don't think so, Liv." A mixture of hurt and confusion sprang up in Olivia's eyes, causing his stomach to knot up in guilt. "It's not that," he quickly added, stepping forward so that he could clasp her hand in his. "It's just that I don't think we've spent even one night apart this week, because either I'm sleeping over here or you're sleeping over at my house. I'd think that we'd be tired of each other by now."

"So…" Olivia took his words into consideration as she lifted her arms up and rested her elbows on his shoulder blades. Stretching her arms out flat, she glanced at Elliot, whose face was now only mere inches from her. "And who said I was tired of you?" He watched on in mere silence as her lips curved up, turning into one of those rare, utterly stunning smiles of hers. It was the kind that Elliot had only seen from her the first time he had kissed her outside the stationhouse and when she had finally admitted that she loved him; the kind that literally knocked the breath out of him.

Swallowing the nervous lump that was slowly gathering in his throat, he gave her his own flustered smile. He waited a minute to catch his breath before he spoke. "I… I wasn't saying that. I just meant that we're spending so much time together, we might get sick of each other."

"So you don't want to stay?" She gazed into his eyes, as if searching for some sign on whether or not he was being truthful. "Even if I said please?" Olivia's poked her bottom lip out and pouted at him, using everything in her power to get him to spend the night. Lately, she couldn't stand the thought of being alone, especially at night, and what better person to spend the nights with than the man she was head-over-heels for?

Elliot's vision traveled back and forth over her face, trying to find some way to contradict her pouting face and big eyes. After a minute, he caved with a small sigh. "What about the guys at the squad?" He raised an eyebrow and repeated the worry she'd had earlier in the week. "Won't they start talking if we keep coming in together?"

Realizing that she'd just talked him into staying, a delighted expression appeared on Olivia's features as she leaned forward and gently kissed Elliot. He happily returned it, slightly deepening it until they broke apart. Placing her chin just above one of his shoulders, she whispered in his ear. "As an incredibly charming man once said… 'So let 'em talk.'" A wide smile spread on Elliot's lips as she quoted his previous reply to her when she'd asked the same thing.


	19. The Heart Won't Lie

Author's note at end...

**Chapter 19 -The Heart Won't Lie**

As Olivia listened to the low hum of her electric pencil sharpener, she rested her elbow on her desk and propped her chin up on her hand. Continuing to feed the waning pencil into the sharpener, her attention wandered off as she wondered what Elliot and the rest of the guys were doing. Only a week into her "punishment" and she had already run out of things to do.

Glancing around the squad room, she saw the fruits of her labor and, with a frustrated and bored sigh, knew that she could be doing so much more out on the field. She'd straightened up every single case file in the entire squad room, the ones in filing cabinets, in boxes, and anywhere else they were floating around. She had also just completed all of the guy's paperwork, _even John's,_ she added with a grin. And now, after organizing all her pens by color and her pencils by length, she had taken a box of new pencils from the supply closet and was absent-mindedly sharpening them.

A metal grinding noise suddenly caught her ear and she glanced down to realize that she'd been sharpening the same pencil for the past few minutes. Quickly yanking it away, Olivia brought it up to see that it had been gnawed down to the metal part. With an irritated groan, she tossed it into the wastebasket to lay with its fellow pencils that had received the same fate.

"You have gotta be kidding me!" A familiar voice floated into the room along with the sound of a few pairs of footsteps. "Why would the President's administration circulate a bogus tape of Bin Laden's voice? Do you think they _want_ to cause any more pandemonium over post 911 terrorist threats?"

The corner of Olivia's curled up in amusement as she realized what was going on. Elliot and Munch were obviously in another political headlock. Normally, Elliot wasn't one to try and argue with the King of Conspiracies, but all the time he had served in the military had given him a great deal of pride in his country and president. There was only so much bashing against them that he could tolerate before he dove into defense mode. And everyone knew that having an opponent only egged John on even further.

"_Of course_ they do! They have to find some way to quiet the uproar of anti-war protesters! Just remind the common man of why were over in the Middle-East, stir up some of that blue-collar anger everyone felt because of 911, and America will jump back on the bandwagon to keep sending troops over there to the slaughter!"

Fin was first to burst through the doors, his expression even more vexed then with John's normal tirades. As he stormed past her desk, Olivia tossed the pencil she was about to sharpen down and watched him. "Been going on long?" She inquired with a knowing smirk.

"Long enough for me to consider eating my gun on about three separate occasions," he huffed with a roll of his eyes.

Smiling, Olivia watched. "Maybe we should put them in a ring and let them duke it out once and for all," she spoke a little louder than normal, trying to make herself heard over the two men's arguments.

"Give them a couple more minutes of this and I think they'll take care of that themselves." Fin grabbed a pile of mail off of his desk and stood next to Olivia's chair as he skimmed through it. His eyes barely glanced up when the two bickering detectives finally entered the squad room.

Elliot walked over towards his desk, flashing Olivia a pained look as he shed his coat. She had to stifle back a laugh at his expression. He obviously wanted out of this debate, but they both knew he was too stubborn to go by surrendering.

Wrapping her arms around a foot-tall stack of papers and folders, she rose to her feet. "Munch, catch!" She pretended to jerk her arms forward, as if she was going to toss the bundle at him. Caught off guard, John jumped and awkwardly shoved his arms forward to catch nothing but air. The faintest smile appeared on Olivia's face while she watched his flustered expression while he regained his composure. "I wasn't gonna actually throw it," she pointed out in amusement, moving over to his desk and dropping the papers onto it with a loud thud.

"What are those?" Back to his normal state, John tipped his glasses forward on his nose and peeked over the rim at the pile of documents.

"Over the past few days," she gently smacked her palm against the top and let it rest there, "I've taken the liberty of finishing all your old, _abandoned…_" she spoke in a disapproving tone, "case files."

"_Damn,_ girl!" Fin exclaimed, his eyes running up the stack as he did a mental estimate of how many cases it contained. "You must be bored out of your mind to do that."

"There's gotta be at least a few years of paperwork in there," Elliot chirped in, walking over towards Olivia. "Because we all know how meticulous Munch here is with his records." He flashed the detective a big grin and slapped him on the shoulder. John remained quiet, biting the side of his tongue to keep from saying anything in response.

"Like you're one to talk?" She turned to Elliot, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "I also did your paperwork and it was no better." The three men followed Olivia's outstretched finger to a sight similar to John's desk, located on Elliot's. She grew a contented grin as his face fell dejectedly. "This place looked like more of a pig pen than a bullpen."

"Well of course," Elliot shot back, knowing exactly what to say to push Olivia's buttons. "The ratio is completely off. Only one woman but four men? How can we seriously expect this place to be kept clean when you're the only one here that can do that?"

While the four continued their banter and good-natured jabbing, Cragen stepped out of his office. "Elliot! John!" He shouted, leaning halfway out of the door and presenting a small piece of paper in his hand. "Scene down the street, gun shot vic. She looks like a pro, so they tossed it to us. Go check it out." He passed over the address to John.

"No problem Cap," he said assuredly, tossing on his jacket. "Let's go, partner." Munch smacked Elliot on the back and continued walking out the door. Instead of immediately following John, Elliot stole a glace at Olivia. He was painfully aware of the sadness in her eyes sparked by when Munch had referred to him as "partner."

_They_ were partners, she thought. She should have been out there, watching his back, not in here, color-coding the file system.

"Hang in there, Liv," Elliot whispered, letting his hand brush against her arm as he began to walk past her. Their eyes met lovingly for a split second before Cragen's voice boomed out again.

Failing to notice the detectives' subtle signals to each other, he turned to Fin. "And Warner wants you down at her office about your John Doe."

"Got it." He turned to leave the squad room, Elliot reluctantly trailing behind him.

Cragen, momentarily falling into habit and forgetting that Olivia was on desk duty, turned to her and barked, "Benson!" As soon as she glanced at him, he awkwardly realized that he had no orders for her. Hiding the fact that he had become flustered, he merely nodded. "Keep up the good work, file cabinets look very organized."

With a look that could easily have killed, Olivia forced a small, sarcastic smile onto her face. "Why thank you, Captain," she snapped, the bitterness just dripping from her voice.

Remaining indifferent to her cold response, he just ignored it. He knew that she was just frustrated with her suspension from field duty, as any could cop would be. After all, they didn't become a cop to sit behind a desk and do paperwork. For that, they could have become a secretary, which _did_, in its defense, come with many less hazards.

As he started to throw his blazer on, Cragen couldn't help but break the awkward silence. "The two-nine precinct is still ticked off about us taking the lead on that string of break-ins and sexual assaults that occurred down there, so I figured I'd go over and try to kiss a little ass to get us back on their good side. I'll be back later." Olivia just nodded, her eyes wretchedly gazing over the empty bullpen with hollowness in her eyes.

--XXX--

About one hour and 30-or-so pencils later, Olivia had moved on to a new activity to keep her interest. Stretching a rubber band between her thumb and forefinger, she'd created a make-shift sling shot. Picking up a paperclip, she set it on the rubber band and pulled back. Releasing it with a small flick of her hand, Olivia watched it sail over the wastebasket, her intended target, by a good foot and a half. There was a circle of paperclips around the trashcan, seeing as how she'd failed to make it in even once.

Olivia picked up another paperclip and prepared to launch it, this time focusing all of her concentration on it. Before she could shoot it, a loud, shrill ring rang out in the otherwise completely silent squad room. Jumping in surprise at the noise, Olivia's hand jerked up and sent the paperclip sailing towards the ceiling.

Her expression grew annoyed as she realized it was only her cell phone. While her hand sifted around in her coat pockets to try and find the phone, she inhaled deeply, trying to slow down the rapid beating of her pulse. Just as Olivia felt her hand curl around the noisy object, she regained her composure and felt her heart beats return to their normal pattern.

She flipped the phone open and put it to her ear. "Benson, Special Victims Unit."

"Hey beautiful."

Olivia felt her cheeks flush as she recognized the voice. "Hey," she replied, a grin spreading on her face. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Elliot laughed and glanced over towards the counter of the Chinese food place he was at. He and Munch were about fifteen people away from the front of the ordering line, so he had decided to sneak away to call Olivia. "Does a guy need a reason to call his lovely partner?"

"No, I suppose not. So, what's up?"

"John wanted to stop off to get something to eat. You want anything?"

"Chinese?"

"Of course," he grinned.

"Hmm…" She pretended to mull over it for a moment. "Oh, well crab rangoons sound pretty good."

Elliot chuckled again, rolling his eyes at her slight attempt of a joke. "C'mon Benson, I bet you just wanna see my with my shirt off again, right?"

"Maybe…" She responded flirtatiously, unconsciously blinking her eyelids as well. "Well, how would you like to come over to my apartment tonight?"

"Oh, I _see_," he said as if with a sudden clarity and undertone.

"Just for dinner." With a raised eyebrow, Olivia quickly corrected his thinking. "Nothing else."

"I know Liv," Elliot told her seriously, knowing she wasn't anywhere near ready to take their relationship to the next step. "I understand that."

Another smile crossed her lips as she was reminded of how extraordinary he was and how that never ceased to amaze her. "So, dinner?"

"Sounds great." Elliot glanced over again and noticed that John was almost at the front of the line. "We should be back at the station in about twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Okay." Just as he was about to hang out the cell phone, her voice stopped him.

"And El?"

"Yeah?"

There was a slight pause before she answered. "I love you."

His grin instantly widened. "I love you too."

--XXX--

"_Absolutely_ amazing," Elliot said sincerely as Olivia cleared the dishes from her dining room table. As she was placing them in the sink, he stealthily walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. With a smile, he also noticed that she didn't jump like she normally would have. Elliot leaned his head forward and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Me or the dinner?" She questioned jokingly, turning her head slightly so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye.

"Both," he informed her simply, burying his face into the crook of her neck and inhaling the light scent of her perfume.

Olivia stifled a giggle as his neck tickled her skin. "Now, how about a movie?"

"Ugg." Elliot pretended to groan in antipathy. "Dinner and a movie, that's _all_ we ever do. Our dates are so predictable."

An idea suddenly formed in her mind as she glanced at him again. In one swift motion, she picked his head up off of her shoulder and held it up just long enough for her to spin around and press her lips against his. After a few seconds, she broke it off much to Elliot's disappointment. "You were saying?" Her lip curled up in a grin as she raised an inquiring eyebrow.

His head bobbled around aimlessly for a few seconds before he spoke. "Yup, movie it is."

A half an hour later, the two were curled up on the couch, a predictable position that neither one of them minded. Instead of a movie, Elliot had suggested they listen to they radio. Olivia agreed and decided that it would be a perfect opportunity to acclimate him to what he so endearingly called her "banjo music." Joe Diffie's _Tougher than Nails_ had just ended and much to both detectives' surprise, Elliot didn't find it half bad.

"Okay, you win," he finally caved. "It's pretty good, I'll admit." Tightening his arm around Olivia, he snuggled deeper into the couch.

"You know," Olivia turned around to face him as she lay on his chest, "you're probably the first person I've known to ever give this kinda music a chance, much less admit that it's good."

"I just did it because I love you, and I'd do anything for you." His crystal blue eyes sparkled as they gazed down at her.

Just as he finished his sentence, Olivia threw her arms around his middle and pulled herself as close to him as she could. "Have I told you lately just how incredible you are?" she asked, though her voice was slightly muffled.

"Probably," he laughed and replied jokingly, "but you can always feel free to tell me again."

"El, I'm serious." The tone of her voice spoke that as she searched for the right thing to say. "I just… I can't believe that a guy so amazing was right under my nose for years and years and I never noticed." Unbeknownst to Olivia, his eyes were beginning to mist over as her words struck a chord with them. "I mean, after everything we've been through, who would have ever thought that we'd end up here, together like this?"

Biting his lip and blinking his eyes to keep the tears from falling, Elliot gently grasped Olivia's chin in his hand and turned her face towards his. He was surprised to see the same unshed tears in her eyes as well.

"I think it was destined to be like this Liv. After going through so much together and getting so close, falling in love was just inevitable." He quietly paused for a moment as their eyes bored into each other's. "And I thank God everyday since I've known it, because I realize that I couldn't live with it any other way. I can't even remember my life before you, and I don't want to, since nothing could compare to the way I feel when I'm with you."

By now, Olivia's tears were freely flowing down her cheeks. Through them, though, she managed a smile that, to Elliot, seemed to brighten up her entire face and make her look as beautiful as ever.

"You want to know the truth, El?" She questioned him as he reached up his hand to wipe her face dry. Before he could though, she took his hand in hers. "Honestly, I think I've loved you since the day we met. But because of everything that was against us I just ignored it, hoping it'd go away because I didn't think it could ever be. I…. I don't know why I could never really stop my feelings. I guess my head knew it couldn't happen, but my heart didn't care. It refused to let me let go."

"Well, it's like they say, Liv." He gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. "The heart won't lie."

As they continued to melt in each other's gazes, the radio suddenly caught Olivia's ear.

"Oh my gosh…" Her eyes instantly widened. "El, listen to the song." Somewhat puzzled, Elliot raised his eyebrow, but did as he was told.

_Looking back over the years  
Of all the things I've always meant to say  
But the words didn't come easily  
So many times through empty fears  
Of all the nights I tried to pick up the phone  
So scared of who might be answering _

_You try to live your life from day to day  
But seeing you across the room tonight  
Just gives me away _

_  
'Cause the heart won't lie  
Sometimes life gets in the way  
But there's one thing that won't change  
I know, I've tried _

_The heart won't lie  
You can live your alibi  
Who can see? _

_You're lost inside a foolish disguise  
The heart won't lie _

_  
Long after tonight  
Will you still hear my voice through the radio?  
Old desires make us act carelessly  
Long after tonight, after the fire  
After the scattered ashes fly  
Through the four winds blown and gone  
Will you come back to me? _

_  
You try to live your life from day to day  
But seeing you across the room tonight  
Just gives me away  
'Cause the heart won't lie  
Sometimes life gets in the way  
But there's one thing that won't change  
I know, I've tried  
The heart won't lie  
You can live your alibi  
Who can see? _

_You're lost inside a foolish disguise  
The heart won't lie _

_The heart won't lie_

As the song faded out, Olivia slowly reached up and brushed her lips against Elliot's. Their faces still only a few inches apart, she whispered in his ear. "I love you so much more than I could ever tell you, El. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Now crying as well, Elliot just barely managed to choke out, "I love you too," before pulling her back into his arms. For the rest of the night, the two just laid in the other's arms until they silently drifted off to sleep, both with the knowledge that they'd finally found love in their life. Despite the odds being against them, despite the lies they'd tried to convince themselves of, and despite the rules, they'd found each other. And there was one thing that they could always be assured of in their relationship… that the heart won't lie.

**_The End_**

**A/N:** All right, before you review to start flaming and screaming at me, just read this first. Okay, despite my promises and everything, this is the last chapter. Yes, I know I promised many more chapters, but it's not going to happen. Lately, school and my life have just been so incredibly hectic and demanding that I don't even know where I found the time to write this. So I just really don't have the time to continue to update this, not for lack of ideas, but for lack of time. Also, because I haven't written for this is like three months, I've lost my inspiration for it. I know that any more chapters I write won't be my best work, and I don't want to post anything on here that's not my best.

So I just want to thank all of you who've stuck with me since BITFD and even those of you who just decided to read this story. All your reviews and support have meant the world to me. Even the reviews in which you just yelled at me for taking to long to update, I think you know who you are ;) , were what kept me going. And don't worry, I'll be back soon. Probably this summer when school lets out. Who knows, you might even see me around with a one-shot or two. ;) The next story up my sleeve will either be about Elliot or another one about Olivia. Since I still live for your opinions, good or bad, feel free to let me know what you'd like to see. :) Again, just thanks so much my reviewers, for everything!

Now, feel free to review, even if you want to flame me for my hiatus and abrupt ending, because I suppose, if my reviewers think so, then I deserve it.


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